February 2019

Makeuptalk.com forums

Help Support Makeuptalk.com forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Tried and tried but cannot do nay more no buy. Can't even look at no buy people online any more. I'm going back to shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have done amazing with your no buy!! Enjoy shopping!!!

 
Wish I could do a low buy. Never have been able to. I like limits. But deciding on the rules is difficult. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I feel a new and better No Buy coming on. I do miss being on No Buy. I feel I will be back to it soon. I was SO sad I went on a binge after being good for an entire year. But I think that is why-after a year maybe I was tired and needed a rest. Also this is a tempting time for me. I got many things out of my system. I'll have that much more of nice things to use when I go on No Buy again. When the new things come in the mail, I put them away in the No Buy organization system, to reinforce to my mind that they are becoming part of the program. A little set back on the money, but I am going back to my second job in a few weeks, and it will be busy season. I can get caught up fast. If I can find it in my heart to forgive myself, not beat on myself, and know that I'm starting fresh and it will be even better. I do feel better on a No or Low Buy though, because I feel so overwhelmed just looking at things with no system. What I want is too endless. I can't take it. On my new No Buy I'm allowed to have one beauty sub. 

I have been keeping up with my use it up system, though! I am on the second to last face cream sample on the list I made one year ago! I am using the Marula Pure Beauty Oil from December 2017 Birchbox. After that I only have the Clark's Botanicals sample from the January 2018 Birchbox. Those were the last things I got before my No Buy began. 

Stay tuned for my new, better, and more fun No Buy 2019, which will start when I feel ready, soon I feel. ?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
It's always great to do some kind of reset @EdithS2. I'm sure you needed it! Can't wait to follow along to see what you will do! Thank you for being such a great inspiration!!

 
New plan I came up today is: I can be on No Buy for half of each day. That is, for half of each day, no thinking of cosmetics, no thinking of shopping. No browsing for things and looking at spoilers. No over thinking about No Buy, or watching No Buy videos in that time (sometimes they will make me want to buy the things they are panning, or anti hauling), or posting too much embarrassing stuff on here, or thinking and thinking of how I can have a plan to shop in a controlled way. Just think of/do other things for half the day. Then I can build up my confidence/resistance again. I've been thinking of shopping/not shopping all the time. I'm going to try to cut back, and distract myself. I can do it for half of each day. Piece of cake. ?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I just give up on No Buy. I can't do it all the time, I have to be in the mood. It only works certain times. I always feel so awful after I mess up on a really long No Buy. This is the 4th time [2007, 2008, 2015 were my other long No Buys]. Then I go back to my old way and very fast undo all my progress and end up where I was before and even worse. It is chutes and ladders. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I want to come back for March and just allow myself Birchbox. I really do. Getting there. Must detangle myself from the Spider Web! 

 
Reminding myself that I don't use all the stuff I buy and can't even keep up with basics like combing my hair. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
How it feels to be shopping too much after being on No Buy for a year

It's been almost a month now of shopping too much after breaking my No Buy, and I've had a lot of feelings of sadness, guilt, and anxiety. I feel worse than ever about my shopping, because it's creating cognitive dissonance with the new habits I set up last year. I have noticed the following thoughts and feelings:

  1. Rip Van Winkle/ROMO Effect - I did not keep up with beauty boxes and promos through all of 2018. I was blissfully ignorant. When I began shopping again, I saw many things I missed during the year, and now have ROMO (Regret on Missing Out). For example, I became aware of all the Sephora Play! Smarts boxes from last year, and wanted to buy them from eBay! This is a little overwhelming! All the dazzling new things and exciting, new to me box programs like Boxyluxe and Ipsy upgrades are even more tempting as I have been away so long. 
  2. I feel selfish. When I'm shopping for myself, I feel I should be saving the money to help family members. I began to contribute and share more with family during my No Buy, and now I feel bad focusing so much on myself again. I complained to my cousin that I was sad that my New Years resolutions were a failure. In the middle of all my haul packages I had a little package from her with a Celtic charm in a little green bag and inspirational bookmarks. I felt bad, because she has it really rough. Her husband works for the government, so he has been out of work in this cruel winter. Here she is sending me a package. I should be doing for her and for my other family members instead of all this selfish hauling. 
  3. I'm scared of getting a lot of new stuff! This is new. For a year I had a system. Everything was organized just so. I knew how much I had of each thing. I was getting close to the end of using all my back stocks of skin and hair care. Now when I go to haul, I want to buy things, but then I feel bad because there won't be room for them in the storage I have set up, and it will take me that much longer to use everything. I did not feel this way before being on No Buy for a year. 
  4. I learned a little bit about what really works for me during the No Buy year. I did a whole year of painstaking experimentation with Mary Kay eye shadow sample cards, and learned that many colors don't work for me. When shopping resumed, I was ready to grab for anything with a pretty package again, but then I recalled that those shades do not work for me.
  5. When I see all the fabulous new things, and get new things in the mail, it makes the things I have look old and tired. When I was not shopping, I loved my things, and I would not dream of parting with them. But when I began seeing new things, I had an impulse to throw the old stuff out, which my No Buy self would be dead against. 
  6. I'm scared of going into more debt. I worked so hard to pay off debt through all of 2018, and I have been opening up new credit cards to shop. I keep telling myself I'll use them in a controlled way, but that never worked in the past. I'm scared and want them to hurry up and come in the mail so I can close them. I won't have peace of mind until I can get rid of them. 
This whole mess up has left me feeling depressed. The bad feelings outweigh the fun, yet part of me still wants to buy. I want to try to do it in a controlled way. I'm hoping I'll be calming down since it's been almost a month now. 

I guess these feeling of cognitive dissonance show that my No Buy was a success in that it set up good habits or new attitudes, but my No Buy self is fighting, fighting, with my old shopping self. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I did it. It was hard. I got my new pretty pink credit card in the mail today. I activated it right away, then I called to close it and cut it up right away!!!!!! It feels bad. I wanted that card. I wanted freedom to buy more, eat more. I worked so hard to pay that card (which has a really bad APR) off during my No Buy. Then I opened that card again during my recent binge. I was so close to sliding back. In 2018 I reduced my credit card debts from 16 to 11, with a plan to get to 6 by the end of this year, and then this past month I signed up for four charge cards again. I won't have closure until the new ones are all received in the mail and closed. This is my main concern right now. It hurt to trash that new card, I wanted it, but I saved myself some grief!!!!!

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The birds are singing outside and there is a breeze. But I keep looking at HSN. Across the street there is a yard sale. Cars keep stopping - what are they - me - looking for? Why this empty feeling? It's sad. ? Why do we do this? Usually I struggle like this all the time, all my life. Once in a while at midnight on New Years Eve a magic spell will come over me and I will be free for a long time. It happened in 2007, 2008, 2015, and 2018. Then something breaks the spell and I can't get back in the state of grace, the remission, and feel so bad. Tomorrow it will be four weeks since falling from the state of grace I was in. I cancelled my HSN order. I hope charge cards come in the mail so I cancel them and cut them up. I think I hear the mail truck--must go!

 
It finally came, thank you God! I have been waiting anxiously for three weeks for the Victoria's Secret Card to arrive in the mail so that I could close it. I was so scared it would not come. I knew I would not have peace of mind until I closed it. It was one of the new accounts I opened since my descent back into my compulsive shopping. There is nothing wrong with the VS card, it's a lovely product, but I have compulsive shopping illness and it is not good for me. The packet was so beautiful, black with pink script, and the card had a beautiful model on it. The brochure was gorgeous, with more photos of beautiful models, and coupons for me to put together my perfect drawer. My compulsive shopping brain liked it and told me I would be able to use it in a controlled way but I know I cannot. I felt a little sad but I called to activate it then I called to close it! I cut the card up in little pieces and cut up all the brochures.  The paper showing the 27% APR was in plain black and white. I feel sad but relieved. Part of me craves the freedom of charge plates and part of me is so scared of them. I wish I could be careless and do what I want, but I just can't. I get a big, big rush when a new charge plate packet comes in the mail, and when I get approved for one. But I've never been controlled with charge plates. 

Now I only have two new charge accounts, not four! That is better! I just need the HSN plate that I impulsively signed up for last week to come so I can exorcise it! In the meantime compulsive shopping voice says I can shop in a controlled way with it. "Look, 6 flex pays of 6.99, it's ok." I ordered two times with it, then I cancelled the orders! Even though the charge plate did not come yet, these places save the account number so you can order online right away, before the conscience talks you out of it! 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I did it - it was hard! I figured out how to delete the new HSN charge from my account online. This way, I can't click and order easily, and hopefully I will cancel the new charge plate as soon as it arrives. I'm a little sad, because my weekend is dull and I wanted to treat myself to some things, but conscience does not allow.

I thought maybe I would throw away the shipping cartons and wrappers from my recent binge, and put all the new things away together in a box for later. Maybe I am finally getting back control after a month! 

 
No Buy Program Guide [on YouTube]

Great new video from Beauty Unboxed - My whole make up collection, 2019. This lady is one of my favorites. I watched her all last year. In this video, she laid out her whole collection, counted what she has, figured out how long it will take to use it. I need to do this right away! It's nice to see her pretty collection - she is German and lives in London. 

Lucia Tepper had a very helpful video on February 17 called No Buys: Expectations vs Reality. She talked about how we do the No Buy to be happy and get a payoff, just like shopping, and sometimes we get on a plateau where there is no payoff any more. I think this is what happened in my No Buy. I was in a tight month and was not doing extra debt payments, and I did not get that payoff. So I lost my steam. 

I ALMOST CHARGED A $78.00 SHOWER GEL ?

The HSN charge card was the most tempting and scary of all the new charge cards I opened lately. All weekend I ordered things, then cancelled the orders a few moments later. I deleted the card from my account, but then called customer service to have them look it up for me. I purchased and cancelled a shower gel that cost $78.00 with tax and shipping. It was a 3 liter Perlier bottle. I wanted it badly, though I already have almost 30 shower gel bottles. 

The thing that is so tempting about the HSN card is that they split everything up into five or six payments, and it makes everything look so inexpensive and safe to buy. My brain only sees the flex pays, not the total. I would see five payments of $3.33, or $12.00. I thought I would be able to buy in a controlled way and keep up with paying off the charges. But deep down I knew I would not. I have had all the shopping TV cards. I forced myself to cancel the orders I wanted so badly. I called to close the card, and cut it up. It was hard! [Added later: all I thought about was the low Flex Pays. Only after I had cut the card up and was throwing away the envelope did I notice the white folded paper that said 28% APR.]

I realized I really have an addiction to credit cards, and this is my most serious problem. The intense happiness I felt when the credit card packets came in the mail, the daydreams I had about all the things I would get with them. The sadness I felt when I had to close them. My conscience is stronger after my one year No Buy and I just couldn't let myself keep them. My attitude in the past was, "I don't care, I feel bad, and I'm going to have what I want." But now I can't be carefree. My No Buy brain keeps telling me I will never use all those new things, that I have to use all my older things first, that I need to pay off my old cards before I incur more bills. 

I feel pretty good about closing all these new credit cards, because I wanted them so badly. Even if I buy some things, it's not as bad as opening new cards. 
 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
An accounting of my awful binge (with footnotes), which began one month ago today (January 27)

Items purchased:

  • AliExpress - two bracelets ($2.00 and $1.99) and two makeup brushes ($2.41 and $2.38). One bracelet is still in the mail. I wanted to shop and shop on Ali. I ordered much more, but I accidentally overdrew my checking account and cancelled all the orders. That put a stop to my AliExpress shopping for a while. Now I am really glad that happened, though it was not pleasant at the time. ***
  • Yves Rocher - got all of the Christmas and summer LE items I had denied myself on my No Buy. Bill of $37 will be paid this weekend. It makes me stressed to have Yves Rocher credit bills. I hate waiting for them to clear. 
  • Guerlain nail polish - $45.98 - owe $34.01 still on charge bill. 
  • Ebook from Etsy on how to do Project Pan - $10.00 *
  • Boxycharm - $21.00 **
  • Glossybox - $21.00 **
  • Birchbox - $10.00 **
  • Ipsy Feb and March - $20.00 **
  • Beautified You sample bag - $7.00 
  • Shop Miss A hauls - $7.95, $8.95, $9.95, $10.95 ***
  • Fabric cotton pads from Amazon - $13.89*
  • Fabric cotton pads from Etsy - $17.50
  • Money spell from online spell caster - $14 * did not work yet; anybody know a good spell caster?
  • Wet n Wild Rebel Rose Oil - $13.85 - at least I got only one item, not the complete collection box like I wanted! 
  • Harvey Prince sample set - $13.50 - I need shampoo - at least it has something I need. 
* I will spend more money on things that I think will make me stop shopping. I got the Project Pan book desperate to feel in control again, but it did not work. The Amazon cotton pads I saw in a No Buy vlog on YouTube. I thought they would help me to be like the vlogger and get back on my No Buy. I got the money spell desperate and feeling broke after overdrawing my bank and running out of money. 

** I have been doing this for a decade. I think signing up for a beauty box will make me want to stop shopping. Then I end up signing up for all of the boxes. I want beauty boxes to simplify my life so badly, but they are complicated in themselves. 

*** I think I am being good buying really inexpensive things, but I buy so many that they add up a lot. 

It could have been worse though, as I signed up for three new credit cards! Luckily I closed the accounts and cut them up before I could use them! It could have been so much worse! 

I have had nightmares, cried, been depressed, stressed. But cannot stop. Desperate to be in control again! 

Total spent: $286.51

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Thoughts on the end of February.

This has been an awful month. It should have been nice. I went to two concerts. I LOVE my 70's concerts. But I ruined the month for myself with my bad choices. Of course, I am looking forward to March being better. I am trying to formulate a plan to be in control again. Don't have it all worked out yet. These are my ideas at the moment: 

1. Goal for month: NO opening new charge accounts (regular credit card may be opened for an emergency only) and spend the same or less than last month. For example, no more then four AliExpress items, one Yves Rocher order, four beauty boxes, etc. 

2. Ash Wednesday is March 6. I start back on my second job on that day. That shows what a blessing from God my second job is. I love it. Sometimes I can't do as many hours as I want as I am always drained from my first job. I thought maybe every time I finish an hour of my second job, or a similar goal, I am allowed to shop online for 10 minutes (only). But no more than that for the entire month. I have been online shopping all the time out of boredom and emptiness lately. The second job is so good for me because I do love it, and the extra paychecks help so much. This job has to do with the real me, my college work; it's fulfilling. The second job is off and on seasonal so it's a special treat to have. 

3. I still dream of beauty boxes being the answer. I have two March boxes paid for already: Ipsy and Birchbox. I am trying to adjust my profiles so that I will get useful and practical things that I need. On Birchbox, I set my profile to Low Maintenance. On Ipsy, I adjusted my settings that I would like to receive the things I have the least of. Very few categories are selected. This way, I am hoping to make the boxes synch with my No Buy/Project Use it Up. 

That's all the schemes I have for now. 

 

Latest posts

Back
Top