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EdithS2

No plan this week

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I don't have a plan any more. I'm too tired. It upsets me when I post too much on here. I love posting on here but I spam too much depressing stuff. I think I have Internet addiction. I feel like a weak lab rat. That's all I'm gonna say. Yesterday when I was only allowed to shop for half an hour a day I listened to this man talk about Internet addiction - what's his name - Simon Sinek. It was sad. I think I have that. But I'm not a millennial. I'm  a Gen X. I'm not a digital native. I remember the time before the Internet, and I miss it. 

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Edited by EdithS2
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New plan this week: 

I am signed up for three beauty subs right now. Why not just let those come in the mail and not go looking for anything else, at all. Sadly, I see shopping as entertainment, but BETTER BORED THAN BROKE. Looking only makes me dissatisfied with what I have, and the things I want to buy when I start looking are never ending. I'm not even going to check on the boxes that are coming online. I remember when I first found Birchbox, I was so excited. So I went online to see what other people got in their boxes, etc. Then I started to doubt, because I heard people were disappointed, then I had to cancel and switch to all the other boxes that were coming out to ride the wave of Birchbox success. I could not be happy and enjoy Birchbox. 

I thought I could apply this to my food too. I feel so sick this morning because I overate this weekend. I could order the right amount of healthy groceries online, and have them delivered or pick them up. That way, I won't spend too much on fast food and Door Dash deliveries, and get sick and broke. 

I call this the "Automatic Millionaire Plan." No copyright infringement intended. Get new things, but let it all be on auto pilot to avoid spending too much and feeling endlessly restless for more. 

I feel better now that I have this plan in place. I even called to cancel the new Macy's charge I opened Saturday, but I could not do it outside business hours. 

Last night, I went outside to enjoy the fist day of sunny evening, and I listened to the radio, like in the old days. Guess what song came on for me? My favorites. Hotel California, also Heartache Tonight, and another Eagles song I never heard or forgot called "Those Shoes." And my brother came at the same moment with a Randy Meisner double solo CD for me. This is significant. 

Must go to work, so tired. 

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I came home from work sick. At least I made it through half of the day. I think it's psychosomatic, just another bad consequence of my shopping binge.

But in the past week, I have experienced something new. When I let go of the shopping, good things come to me. I let go, and people brought me precious little rare and vintage gifts. I got a CD and earrings. I let go of shopping one night and went to bed instead, and had a nice sleep and more focus at work. I let go, and found new music to enjoy. I let go, and had the time to Google and find a new dentist instead. I found one right by my home, and I filled out their form online. They called me, and were really nice, and now I have a new appointment for the tooth that is bothering me. They even let you come on Saturday so you don't have to take off work! I let go, and discovered a new beauty sub deal that looks really great for me, but it came to me in an email; I did not have to look for it (that is, I found Scentbird has all sorts of skin and bath products and things I can get, and might be THE SUB for me). Every time I let go, something lucky happened. 

I like this new feeling of letting go and letting things come to me, which is new to me. It's trusting in the Universe, or the providence of God, or finding blessings in the little things. And I thought, I should not say I'm not going to shop because better bored than broke, because how do I know I will be bored? Who knows what I'll find. 

Edited by EdithS2
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