When us girls drink too much:

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1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND

WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE

THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING

NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY

GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY

LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT

ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

13: When you sing karaoke at a bar, you instantly sound like an award winning Grammy singer, even though no one in the bar knows what song you are singing b/c it is so bad.

 
Oh man, did you know me when I was in college? LOL. I did all those things. And with the dance moves, I thought I was dancing like the hottest chick there, but um no. One of my friends called it my octopus dance, b/c thats what I looked like.

Another to add: When you sing karaoke at a bar, you instantly sound like an award winning Grammy singer, even though no one in the bar knows what song you are singing b/c it is so bad.

 
How about, when your drunk, everything "he" says, even the most innocent comment, seems like an insult. Some how, just a minute Im talking to someone suddenly means...I hate you..hahah

Or when your stinkin drunk, pooring out all your problems to random strangers in the bathroom seems like a good idea.

 
I did that, lol. Once I saw my bf (ex now of course) with another girl that I found out was also his girlfriend, at a club, I was crying and telling all these strangers in the bathroom, they all said, "lets go find him, we'll kick his a$$!" We all seriously went out as a group, didnt find the guy though.

 
Have any good stories?

Thanks for posting this list, Kee!!

This is a good one......

number 6..is so right on....

Also, you ever notice, or at least I've experienced, that pain or any injury that you may incur while drunk doesn't really seem so bad and in fact is funny....??? Like one Halloween, the only holiday I go out without fail every year with the explicit goal of making a total fool of myself, I was set to go to a party, but had no costume that year. My GF lent me her beautiful, long flowing white gown of an old prom dress and said well we don't know what you are, you're like a fairy godmother or something. I got so tipsy at the party, I ended up borrowing a tiara and "wand", and we had to walk home b/c we we were so wasted we couldn't drive. On the way home, we had to walk through an open field, and I ended up falling into some kind of hole, really hard, that was about a foot and a half deep...and boom! I cried out and my girlfriend came running back laughing "what the f***, Glinda???" I was hurt, covered up to my waist in cold, moist earth and just laughing my ass off...."oooops..Glinda...fell..in a..hoooole.."

That was a kick-ass Halloween. I was so full of red wine and Southern Comfort, though, I think if had had arteriel bleeding I would have just gone ..."I got an owwwie".

 
normally i just get really mad when someone takes my beer or something. im a really bubbly drunk. and if i get really smashed, for some reason i try to take my clothes off. dont ask why, this is what i have been told.

 
That's so cool. You found an instant posse to kick ex Bf's butt...

too bad you didn't find him.:mad:

 
I usually drink with my best guy friend, he makes sure I dot get tooo stupid. Plus he lets me steal his drinks all night, which works out quite well at those times where dont really need more, ya just want somthing to sip on.

 
Well, I don't know if it was funny or not, but here's a story for ya:

When I was 18, a bunch of my friends and I were playing an alternate version of a game called 'Bloody Murder' in the woods near a small river. The wooded area is up on a steep hill that has a cliff all along the river. We were all drinking.

Bloody Murder, for those of you who don't know, is a pretty crazy game. You split everyone into 2 groups; one group hides anywhere they can while the other group must find all the people who've run and hid. You have to play in complete darkness, except for at 'base', where there's usually a campfire lit.

The people who have to find the others sit around the fire while the rest run and hide. The people who are "it" hides, then everyone else counts "1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock rock, 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock. 6 o'clock rock. 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock rock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, LUNCHTIME! 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock rock, 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock rock, 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock rock, 10 o'clock 11 o'clock, 12 o clock MIDNIGHT!"

Midnight is the cue for everyone hiding that the other team is coming for them. When one person finds another (everyone splits up, no one hides together, and no one seeks together), neither can move until the person who was found screams "BLOODY MURDER". When one team is successfully 'murdered', they switch and start over.

Anyway, we were playing this when my best friend's boyfriend, who wasn't from the area, FELL OVER THE CLIFF. He ran through some trees not realizing that there was nothing beyond but a 35 foot drop. :icon_eek: We all thought for sure he was dead.

15 minutes later, we found him. He basically walked away with a scraped and bruised back, but no other injuries. To this day he says it was because he was drunk - he didn't brace himself at all during the fall - and that's what saved his bones from being broken.

 
Kee, that's probably what did save him, the fact that he didn't brace himself for the inpact and was all relaxed...that's why of course also many people wh o drive drunk and have accidents walk away without a scratch. No, tha't not funny at all...he got really lucky.

I've got another story that combines number seven and number thirteen.

Well, it was Halloween again and I had my annual appointment with the Happy, Silly, and Stupid Monster. This year I was a Hawaiian princess complete with black wig and everything. After a couple a dozen Mai Tais I met this really cute lawyer whose family was from back east. The GF I was with this year, unbeknownst to me at the time, had the habit of turing into a real mean drunk. After talking to this guy for a couple of hours..I don't know, I may have even let him kiss me..I was convinced we were going to be together forever and I was going to have his five kids. After we left the venue and were waiting outside for our taxi, I told this fact to my GF..and she slurred you're delusional, kid.You're a waitress from Nevada and he's a hot shot lawyer with tons of money and he just wants to use your body and play with you...And I was all..you don't unnerstand...I'm gonna MARRY this guy!! Just then, I decided it was time for a song and a hula or whatever to express my feelings...and chose Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat?" So I'm belting it out...dancing, really going for it, and when I get to the part.."Pussycat, Pussycat, you're delicious......." this huge limo rolls up and all of a sudden he and his friends walk out of the building right past me doing my thing. I all of a sudden was mortified!! and tried to hide in the bushes..but they saw me real good. They just got into the limo and sped off....with my GF running after them screaming "F*** You, you a**hole". Needless to say, I did not hear from him again....the grass skirt and flowers were fun, though.

More stories, everybody! These are good!

 
OK. BUMP B/c I have this really good in my own little mind Drunk Story and I didn't know where else to post it. :santa: OK.. so....Be prepared it is kinda stupid and embarrassing..um..but that's why I love this place!

I'll call it...."Of Mice and Cameras" or..."Sex, Mice, and Videotape"

My GF(not really, just an aqquaintance) threw a really boring bachlorette party. No Strippers or any erotica of any sort because the groom was a deeply religious guy. She was a hard core Party Girl but found this guy and was determined to turn over a new leaf for him. Anyway, she viewed me as quite straight and was feeling frustrated so she challenged me "I'll bet I can drink you under the table." I hate bachlorette parties in general and said Cherie, uh, Sherlock, this is a dry party and WTF? Anyway, Long story short, I ended up drinking every one of these ladies under the table and thensome. We took limos to about 5 different bars. I remember the whole evening.. it was fun, but boy was I sloshed. Luckily, I am a very fun Drunk and just get Silly and Happy and ok a Little Naive and Stupid. I said "Cherie, can I just chill for awhile back at your place before I go home?" We get to her place and she runs in the bathroom to vomit. I'm like oh no I'd like to help you but....Oh, whassthat in the cage?? OMG..Cheerie..you got a Mouse!! Oh my God! Itsss so cute!! Can I touch it?? Please, please, please!! I'll be real careful! Cherie says yeah ok I'm sick. Whats its name? I dunno, she says. It's a boy..(Phew! It least I wasn't kinky or anything!)

Whaddya mean! he's got no name? Thass just wrong. And He's in this cage all day, thass just wrong..he should be out and eating with you, washing TV with you...he's really big and health-looking for a mouse. Well we became fast friends. I was dancing with the mouse...I got some lettuce out of the fridge and was feeding him...we were having a high old time and he was so friendly and he hated that nasty old cage and was running all over me..Cherie's all like, you weirdo..I'm going to get the CAMERA! I was disturbed by this but not really I was so toasted on Happy Isle I didn't care...then I was like....here mousy..give me a kiss..and he gave me a KISS! (ok..I think he was just smelling the booze on my breath) but Cherie took a picture of me kissing her mouse. Then I was lying back on the sofa laughing my butt off b/c the "Mouse" was starting to sniff at my ear and claw (dig) into my hair really fast and it was kinda starting to hurt..."OhmygodCherie...THIS MOUSE IS CRAA-ZEE!" :hehe: :hehe::--:--

Cherie is passed out so the mouse has to go back into his cage and I must go home....

Next morning: Hi Cherie How ya doin? Breakfast of Champions, eh?

I actually felt fine I have never been hungover no matter how drunk I've been..

"I'm sick as a dog...I've never been so fuckin' drunk in my life....David heard about the whole thing and he's pissed..says the biggest day of his life is going to be ruined b/c my slut friends....what do you want?!"

"Just to, you know, make sure you're ok and thanks for last night..and I hope the mouse has recovered..."*laughing*

"What Mouse? Elisabeth, I don't have a Mouse...do you mean Nick, my RAT!!" :scared: :sadno::eek:

"Um..what?"

"My Vietnamese/Chinese whatever she said..Rat named Nick"

I was like.."you told me he didn't have a name..and, and, um..don't you remember?"

"Elisabeth, what the f*** did you do to my rat last night?"

"Nothing, girl, don't worry, I gotta go. Look Good Luck with David and call me later BYE." :wacko:

I call my mom and tell her most everything except the kissing part. I didn't think it would be too cool to, um, talk about that. My Mom was all well, usually they are super clean animals and really smart but maybe you should go get a rabies shot or something. :blink:

OMG! How could I not know that it was not a Mouse?? I was not scared or anything..but..really.

Anyway, thanks for reading and that was the last time I got completely sloshed out of my mind..and it was the only time I ever did anything a little ,um, unusual.!!!! :laughing:

 
LMAO!(What a RAT: To not come clean and admit to you it was one!)

You sound like a fun drunk to have around!

 
OMG,Elisabeth,I am laughing now for 5 mins and can't stop,that is just hilarious!:--

 

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