Ettiquette advice..

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Hi Guys! Wow, I am so happy to see this section is really being utilized! I didnt know if Tony would go for it! But yay! Anyway, Sorry I have been MIA, its really hard to log on here at work and I still have no computer hooked up at my new apartment. Anyway.. i will fill you in later on that.. Off to the question..

For 2nd weddings.. what is the rule on registries, dresses etc.?? This is the topic of discussion here at work today.. I say, that a 2nd wedding you should NOT wear a veil, you CAN register, but no shower? i dont know.. Girls... solve this will ya?

 
Ok, I was married a second time and for starters, my opinion is whatever you want goes. Who the heck cares what others think, especially office gossip mongers.

Now, for me personally, I decided that I did not want a HUGE second wedding with all the frills. I preferred to spend the $$$ on a really great vacation/honeymoon since my first one wasn't what it should have been. Plus, I had no need to register at any store since I had plenty of "still-in-good-condition" house stuff (appliances, dishes, etc.) But maybe this person you speak of, doesn't and needs new stuff. That's cool too.

If the second time around bride wants to wear white & a veil and register, so be it. After all, my way of thinking is that this is the year 2006 and the 21st century. It's not the 1950's when the world was at a different mindset at the time. In today's day and age, anything goes
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To each his/her own is what I'm really trying to say. But you know, in an office environment, people will always have something to say.

 
Welcome back! These things are never up to me
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Mods decide these things for MuT





Originally Posted by MacForMe

I didnt know if Tony would go for it!



 
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hi all, genie here. congrats on your nuptials if the question is about you. you must have the wedding you want and the wedding that will send you on a happy path together. that being said, the only breach of etiquette is to appear to be trolling for valuable gifts and prizes. lol...if you and the intended had established households prior to the nuptials, then a gift shower is not in good taste. gift showers and registries were devised as a means of helping a new couple to set up a household that was assumed to be until death do they part. since this is not the case anymore showers for successive marriages make the invitees fell like cash cows and can cause resentment. wear what makes you feel beautiful and happy. it is your wedding and you may wear whatever you please as long as it doesn't cost anyone else the proverbail arm and leg.
 
I think genie has some good advice! Registries and showers in general are a touchy subject regardless of if you've been married before, you do anything different and you'll probably have people accuse you of being greedy and just trying to get lots of gifts and cash!

I used to frequent a wedding-planning message board when I was engaged, and I saw all sorts of opinions on the matter -- but I think most people thought "do whatever you want, it's your wedding!"

As for dress, I don't think it really matters anymore... white dresses and veils both used to symbolize virginity, but I guarantee you that many of the brides wearing white and veils today aren't virgins
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So I don't think it matters the second time around either!

And actually, if you want trace the traditions back, white used to worn only by rich brides and was not associated with virginity! Back in the day, only rich people could afford white dresses, since if they got stained they could never wear them again! And I've read that veils originated with arranged marriages -- the bride wore a veil to hide her face so the groom couldn't bolt at the wedding if he didn't like how she looked! lol .... But it is true that most people today (or at least, in the older generations, maybe not so much with the generation getting married now) do associate white and veils with virginity. So that's your random trivia for the day
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Originally Posted by MacForMe For 2nd weddings.. what is the rule on registries, dresses etc.?? This is the topic of discussion here at work today.. I say, that a 2nd wedding you should NOT wear a veil, you CAN register, but no shower? i dont know.. Girls... solve this will ya? i think at a 2nd wedding a registry is not really appropriate as the items necessary for setting up a home are probably around.as to dress i say wear whatever you're comfortable with--i think etiquette demands a simple suit outfit and no veil but if you want to go all out this time then do it!

 
generally, most people go alot simpler. i would definetly not wear a veil. or a gown that is too elaborat/ornate. i would go with something a little more fitted and i would not where a pure white. any soft color, or off-white,ecru, or ivory color is ok too, i think.

 
On the shower..I have seen many go for a theme..like a collectable..or candles..something simple and use as get together for family and/or friends..on the color or the veil..shoot ..go for whatever ya want...

 
In my opinion, when it comes to weddings, whether first or sixth, anything goes. I just got married (for the first time) in December, and one thing I realized is that society's "rules" just make a stressful time even worse. I don't envy anyone having to plan a wedding right now lol.

 

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