Graying rant

I understand that most of you here don't have this issue yet, but the over 40 bunch can probably relate. I have dyed my hair since I was 14 for many reasons--trying a new look, deepen the color, trend etc. Now that I am over 40, I am starting to gray around the edges. I like those older ladies like Nancy Wilson who have that salt and pepper mix of hair. I find it elegant. Anyway, until I get that look, I continue to color my hair. Several of my male friends have recently commented on my graying edges. One--shaves his head bald rather than go gray, the other dyes his hair and beard, and the last one hasn't turned gray yet. All three had a negative view of my gray coming in (and it was just subtle gray, some new edge growth appearing). They were all shocked that I liked it!! We have a culture that is youth oriented, but I don't want to look 26 in my 40's. I want to look radiant and healthy at any age, but am not on the bandwagon for helmet hair, anti-aging creams, botox, lip plumping, or face lifts to look 10 years younger. (Bobbi Brown was right when she said that people with plastic surgery look like people who had plastic surgery..) I just found it shocking that the men in my life do not want to see their female counterparts go gray, or themselves for that matter. I always thought that just women had that hang up about graying...

i agree w/u ... a lot of my guy friends could care less about their hair going gray. .... hmmm .... how strange that your friends would care about your hair going gray ... i know my dad could care less if my mom had a couple of grays showing thru

well good for you for liking what is only natural and embracing the years thats what they are for!!! im 34 and i rather say it and have people say i look good than be 34 and say im 25 or try to look younger and have people say damn well she looks kinda old for her age!! you know?! or just look like some women who are in DENIAL that they are getting older and are looking it! thats just crazy! go ahead and let your grays show, besides 40's is the new 30's and even 50 somethings now a days look better than 20 somethings!!! and im not talking about botox and all that crap, i mean by exercising ,eating right etc!!!

my mom grayed early. and i probably am (i found my 1st gray hair when i was like 17). so far they're really really few. like at most 3. but its like im 21 i shouldt have grays at all!

I think grey hair can look so stunning!

But I totally agree about the youth obsession we have in this culture. It is so odd. What the hell is so wrong with being over 30? But I am certainly not immune to it. I have been fighting wrinkles like a madwoman. I obsess about wearing sunscreen on my face because I don't want to look 37. I want to look 27. It's awful I know, but it really is our culture that tells us that only young is good. Old is bad.

I hate finding the grey hairs. Mine aren't disinguished, they are wild wirey crazy hairs that certainly do stand up and are proud of themselves..lol!

Eventually I am going to have to give it up and admit that I am older but it is difficult for me.

ps I hate that store 21 Forever...barf! hehehe

Hello all,

Well,if it makes you feel any better I'm 26 and have quite a few white ones.My mother teases me all the time about them.Of course she colors her hair,and the last time she went a couple of months without dying her hair,she got the Senior's dicount at Jack in the Box. We colored her hair that night. But I think it looks distinguished on a woman and makes her look wise...

I'm 26 years old, and I've already pulled a few out of my hair... Although, I totally blamed my DH and oldest daughter on those due to stress *lol*

I've always found it interesting how when women get grey hair we're old, but men are considered wise... If he wasn't wise before the grey hairs, why is he wise now? *lol* Sorry, I just know a lot of immature older men!

Most of my friends are older than me (late 40s), and they have grey hairs. They don't go crazy making sure their hair is always dyed, but they do dye it often. I don't see anything wrong with a women having it... A lot of women actually look prettier with it IMHO.

SewAmazing - I can relate - I am 44 and going grey - and its coming in really fast. My husband doesn't care if I go grey and he's 50% grey himself. I decided that eventually I will "cover my grey" but not because of any pressure in today's society - its just my own personal choice. I will not, however, change my color to go lighter. I hope to cover my grey with the exact same color as my natural color, when the time comes.

And yes this culture is youth obsessed. The funny thing is - everyone who is young will also eventually get old...you can't stop the aging process!

Beauty is from within!

viva la grey!

Hey - look what it did for Taylor Hicks !! LOL

he made grey hair chic again!!!

I cant say much cuz im only 23 and dont have any greys....BUT..at this point, I view it much like dealing with dark roots. I dont think I could go grey. My mom refuses to, and so does my grandmother. Shes 72 and still blonde!!

I agree with you.

I found my first gray hair in high school and came flying down the stairs to show my parents who just shook it off and said, "Yeah, we both grayed early. It's no big deal." So, at 39, my crown is gray with a lot of white hairs, but since I'm blonde, I just highlight and no one seems to notice the gray hairs or the white ones.

u r right. unfortuantly when a woman goes gray its seen as very

undesirable. when a man goes gray, he's seen as "experienced"

or "distinquished"

My mother is like you SewAmazing....she wants gray hair (she always said she wanted that little wisp in the front). However, my family grays really late in life. My 92 yr old grandmother still has a ton of black in her hair and my uncles (60 53 55) only have a little in their goatees.

I have tons of gray hair and I am 28, it started several years ago. My hair is dark blonde with lighter blonde highlights so you cant see the gray. I dont pluck b/c I have too many. My mom went completely gray in her early 20's, but she dyes it black (that was her natural color, I am the only lighter haired person in my whole family). I knew an 18 year old that was totally gray, she dyed hers also.

men are more vain than women in alot of cases. my husband decided to shave his head bald rather than have a receeding hairline. i was ok with my graying edges until they just took over. without my monthly rinse (basic instincts in rosewood) it looks as though i dipped my face in shaving cream and it does make me look older! don't get me wrong i agree that i don't want to look 25 again, but i'm not ready to look like grandma either! jmo!

My friend (16 years old!!!!) is started to go grey!!! Very funny but I am very glad its not me... count yourself lucky your didn't go grey when you were a teenager!

I started going gray in my mid twenties. I color my hair now as it is about 25% gray. I do think eventually I will stop coloring my hair but right not now because it does make you look older imo and I am not ready for that. I am 40 and don't want to look that much older. There is a great article in More magazine this month about a woman who is 47 who decided to stop coloring her hair. She goes through the stages and talks about how people react to her. It is a great article.

I don't have grays yet... but I'm sure if guys your age don't like your gray & cover their own... they're probably just too scared to deal with the fact they're getting older... lol

Well, you can see by my siggie that I'm in your age neck of the woods and It always amazed me that men were considered "distinguished" with grays and women looked old. I'm also proud to be the age I am. Nothing personal to my younger friends here. I'm just more comfortable with myself now. I let my grays show. I earned them. I did let my daughter hilight my hair only because she is in Cosmetology school, but I'm trying to grow old gracefully. Most people don't think I am as old as I am which of course is a compliment. I contribute it to good genes, not good living. Maybe the men who see the grays in our hair are reminded that shaving their heads or not, they are also growing older. Men do not, in my opinion, accept growing older as well as women do. When my ex turned 40. He literally had a mid life crisis. he dyed his hair blonde, he started wearing beads around his neck like the younger surfer guys wear and his clothing style changed. Me.....same old clothes, jewelry and hair. I say we should be proud to be women regardless of our age and we are like fine wine...........we just get better.

Gray hair can be so classy on the right person. I am 26 and already going gray but I do color it to hide it. I am surprised that your friends were so negative about the gray hair. They must be feeling insecure about aging.

Love MORE magazine! Thanks for all your comments ladies. Very diverse opinions and points of view! It is interesting to see how your friends and family really sees you and themselves in the aging process! We are all going to experience it--one way or another. As long as I am stimulated mentally, I will stay young at heart. I think once you stop dreaming, taking risks, and being open to new ideas--aging ruins you. I hope to still be riding my motorcycle at the Senior Citizen complex!