Dating dilemma

I am a doctor ... actually I am current a resident so I dont make doctor money yet ......... I make a decent salary though..... but I always feel bad making guys pay on a date because they dont make as much as me...

I just went on a second date with a guy and he paid for everything except for our cab ride which I offered to pay.....

My question is do you ladies usually let guys pay for the first second maybe even third date or do u do dutch or pay.....

WHAT IF YOU MAKE MORE THAN HIM:scared:

Since I'm only working part-time and making not so much money (and before having been an entirely unemployed student) I've never made more money than my date, so I can't share my opinion if the girl earns more than the guy. And I never went to really really posh restaurants which would cost a fortune, so no experience on that either.

What I always did/do: offer to share. When the bill is brought I say something simple like "oh, let me have a look so that we can share". Although deeply inside I'm romantic and really appreciate it when the guy wants to pay for it all, I also believe that modern women who earn their own money should be able to look after themselves.

Some guys wouldn't let me pay half for the world (and I'm fine with that, I never offer a second time - he's had his chance), some have accepted it immediately. But I would never offer to pay it all (this would probably mean that after 5 dates or so my salary would be gone completely).

Even if I get a full-time job with nice money (as I hope I will soon) I'll never offer to pay it all, I'll of course continue to share, but never go beyond that, even if he earns less. If he invites me he ought to be prepared to pay half of it ... And if he always wants to pay it all, I won't fight with him over that, I'm sure he's aware of whether he can afford it or not /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Your date sounds like a complete gentleman!!

The first couple dates I usually let him. Even if I make more money, I'm just old fashioned that way and think if a guy asks me out then he should pay. If I start to like the kid or end up dating him exclusively then I half things.

The first date the guy always wants to pay, regardless of who has more money.

The second date, he might pay for the meal and I pay for the activity - movie.

At this point, I don't think it is wrong to discuss how each could contribute to the next date.

When John and I started dating, we either went dutch or paid every other time we went out. At one time he did pay for everything, but then there was a time where I did. Or, something else we'd do, is him pay for dinner and then me pay for something else of equal value (video games, CDs, etc.)

I'm all about chivalry and yes, I prefer that the guy pays. I'm not saying it has to be that way all the time since I do offer to pay for half just in case he doesn't have enough money and genuinely feel bad that it's way too expensive. But I think for the most part, the guy should regardless of how much money he or I makes.

i agree

I always offer to pay half too - but I love it when he pays! I mean, if he's invited you out, then he should be prepared to pay all or at least half - the only thing is, if he suggested going out and you got to pick the restaurant, and then you have to make sure that you don't pick one that's too expensive!

after a few dates you can start going halves or take turns. Just make sure, if you DO make (or start making) more money than him, that you are sensitive to his financial status and dont choose really expensive activities every time. It sucks having to worry about money. I cant wait til I'm not earning a measly student wage.. sigh..

Hmmmm...I think that whomever does the inviting should probably do the paying. It doesn't matter who makes more more in a casual dating situation. I will say this however, be careful about this later on if you continue dating this guy. I've found that many men just cannot handle making the least amount of money in a relationship. If I were you I'd not share too much information about what you make financially.

I think that the guy should pay. Chivalry rocks!

I'd say let him pay if he invited you, although I've heard of some guys using this a a screening tool...like if the girl offers to pay all or half, they'll consider another date, but if she doesn't then they won't. To me that's pretty lame b/c I think, especially in the beginning, the person who does the asking should do the paying. So let him pay the first couple times, then start offering to pitch in. I always figured I emasculated guys enough by being a raging feminist that I should at least let them feel chivalrous and manly the first couple dates.