Top Ten Marriage Quotes (lame)

Makeuptalk.com forums

Help Support Makeuptalk.com forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Joined
Jan 29, 2008
Messages
8,852
Reaction score
16
1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.

5. Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

8. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

9. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late."

10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look beautiful.

```````````````

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

 
LOL!!! I like No. 4.

How about: "Marrying for sex is like buying a jumbo jet for the free peanuts."?
smile.gif


 
Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

I like that one the best
smile.gif


 
Originally Posted by StereoXGirl /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wow, a lot of bashing women/wives. As if men/husbands are any better! lol! sorry Shaundra most of the jokes i would read before were all directed the other way, towards men. -or- are you just kidding me? You always seem so serious.
 
Originally Posted by Darla_G /img/forum/go_quote.gif sorry Shaundra most of the jokes i would read before were all directed the other way, towards men. -or- are you just kidding me? You always seem so serious. Oh, I'm VERY serious! HAHA!
wink.gif
 
Originally Posted by StereoXGirl /img/forum/go_quote.gif Oh, I'm VERY serious! HAHA!
wink.gif
see I knew that already! LOL
 

Latest posts

Back
Top