Transvestite/Crossdresser Jokes

Define Transvestite.

A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.

- You wear combat boots with a minidress.

- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.

- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft." (Karren how many of these do you have?)

- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.

- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.

- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.

- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.

- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.

- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.

- You keep spare ammo in your bra.

- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.

- Your purse is a toolbox.

- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.

- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.

- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.

- You call your vanity "your work bench."

- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.

- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.

- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.

- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.

- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.

- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.

- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.

- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.

-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.

- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.

- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure! What about?" replied mother.

"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own one."

"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.

"Could you buy me a push up bra?"

"No."

"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."

"Nope."

"I think it would be just proper at my age..."

"I said no way...!"

"But all of my friends wear.......!"

Morris! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"

Well I own a Ford Ranger not an F-150!!

LOL thanks for posting!

Karren, i buried that in there a while ago. I didn't remember which truck you had. and even if you had told me I'm not much of a truck person. My brother in law has a Toyota Tundra and i borrow it occasionally but i hate driving that. I love BMWs and could probably pick them out pretty easily going back to the early 60s.

Well where I go, a girl with a 4wd truck is a rarity and something that is cherished... Maybe even to the extent of overlooking the obvious fact that I'm not really a girl!!

I would of thought it wasn't too rare in some of those parts of West Virginia

Ok let me rephrase that... Girls driving a Black 4wd pickup in a matching little black dress and 4 inch heels are a rarity!! Lol

Here's a couple more.......

Good: Your husband's exercising and dieting.

Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Worse: He knows how to coordinate better.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.

Bad: He's a crossdresser.

Worse: He looks better than you.

A straight man, a trans-sexual, and a crossdresser were drinking coffee together in a trendy cafe and watching the passing crowd. A very busty, well-dressed, and attractive woman walked into view. "Look at those **** !", exclaimed the straight man getting up from his seat for a better view. "Doesn't she move beautifully", sighed the trans-sexual enviously. The crossdresser drank some coffee and observed, "Her lipstick is all wrong for that dress."

Why did the crossdresser cross the road ? To see how the other side felt.

Very funny!!!!!!