Hi, Redcat. I completely understand where you're coming from. When I was in middle school my nose went from a cute, perfect little nose to something bent, crooked and very large by the time I graduated high school as a result of a severely broken nose. I never had plastic surgery, but had two reconstructive surgeries via orthopaedic surgeons. Thus, it wasn't the svelte microsurgery you see from a plastic surgeon, but a comprehensive, practical yet radical repair to make my nose function again. Ever since, I have thought about plastic surgery to do that "final" repair.
Let me just say right now that I could respect any decision you make. Self-image is a curious thing. Many people see it as the evil of all evils, but I thinks it's an unavoidable part of being human. I just think you need to look at it more in a macro sense to make sure you're not nitpicking little things here or there. A couple of thoughts...
What do you feel is the problem with your nose? Is it too wide or does it protrude too far from your face? If it's too wide, that is something that can completely be remedied with contouring. When I do this with my nose, it takes me all of 3 mins and it looks truly amazing when compared to no contouring. It used to take me a good 10 or 15 mins, lots of experimenting with technique, color and so-on, but once you understand theory and methodology it becomes second nature.
If, however, your nose protrudes too far, contouring can do a little to mitigate the size, but not as well as covering a nose that's too wide. BUT... stop and take a look at yourself. Really. When I got serious about trying to look more like a woman, I did what seemed to make sense... Look through magazines like Vogue and Cosmopolitan and get ideas from the masters of makeup. And yes--the makeup is amazing and the women are gorgeous--but could I be them if I did my makeup like them? The answer was no, and although I was disappointed initially I realized that it was 100% okay. You see, I have the advantage of being a heterosexual male.
I started paying attention to women that I thought were attractive. Then I started paying attention to women that I thought were very attractive. Mind you... I'm picky. I was actually surprised by my conclusions. Although there were (obviously) significant differences in levels of attractiveness amoung women, there was a myriad of diversity in the women I found to be most attractive. These definitely included a range of nose sizes and shapes, and they were incongruous with my assumptions of attractiveness. There are large noses, wide noses and even crooked nose that just "fit" the face. I guess a good example for a male would be Tom Cruise. He has a nose with a pronounced hump, the cartiledge in his nose is crooked, and his teeth are as much or more crooked than his nose. Yet he has been considered one of the sexiest men in Hollywood for years. Would he look better with braces and a nose job? Maybe....? But at what point do we become lemmings?
If you feel your situation is best addressed by Rhinoplasty, then consult with a Plastic Surgeon. It wouldn't hurt to consult with a therapist, as well, to discuss your thoughts, feelings and expectations (I think it ought to be mandatory... although I do hold doctors in high regard, keep in mind that they--especially plastic surgeons--make their living off of these procedures). After all, we're only getting a small piece of the puzzle here. If you're not sure about which path to take and you've never tried contouring, try it. You have nothing to lose. But most importantly, give who you are now a chance. One of the best pieces of advice I ever recievced was to be confident. Mind you---not arrogant, cocky, self-absorbed and so-on, but walk with your head up. Look people in the eye and smile. Do a little people watching... you'll be amazed at how some of the "average" people have more friends and dates just because they accept who they are and set out to enjoy life. People *want* to be around other people that are happy and non-judgemental. And always remember--looks fade on everyone. The higher up the "mountain oif beauty" you are, the further you have to fall.
Good luck to you!!!