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Age Gap Relationships: What Do You Think?

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What do you guys think about age gap relationships?

How big do you think the age gap has to be before it starts to be creepy?

I found out today that Kat Von D (she's 27) is dating a 50 year old guy. Other famous age gap relationships:

Madonna (50) and her new boyfriend (22)

Catherine Zeta Jones (39) and Michael Douglas (64)

Ashton Kutcher (28) and Demi Moore (44)

Anna Nicole Smith (she was in her 20's at the time) and J Howard Marshall II (he was in his 60's)

 

Young girls who date older guys are most of the time called Gold diggers and the guys are considered creepy. Same for younger guys dating older women and the older woman is known as a 'cradle snatcher' which may be wrong in most situations but that's what people tend to think.

I know that for most people age is just a number and as long as you love someone it doesn't matter but putting that to one side, from an outsiders point of view how big would an age gap have to be before you looked and thought 'actually that's a bit creepy'?

Also as far as maturity goes it must be difficult for a 40 year old woman to date a 20 year old guy.

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I dont judge, but I do hate the stereotype that younger girls date older men just for the sake of money. My mother was 23 my father was 52 when they began dating. It was hard on her because she was perceived as wanting him for his money, yet stayed with him by his side until the day he died, and didnt get one red cent. I dont care for old men, because I saw what my mother went through and others and I am not cool with that. My husband and I have a 3 year age gap between us, and I have never went over a 5 year gap when I was dating.

 

As far as cougars (I love that name) RAWR!!! Do ya thang!

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Yeah I do think people are very harsh towards people who have age gap relationships when they assume the younger person is just after the other persons money. My next door neighbour married a guy 20 years older than her and everyone said she was just a gold digger and they judged her (and still do) none stop because she married an older guy and because she had a kinda barbie doll like image (blonde hair, lots of makeup ect) and they just assumed she was after his money. They've been married for 20 years and still going strong, I admire them cos they could have let it break them up but they stuck together.

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If someone is in their teens and dating someone in their 20s I think the age thing is probably important considering the social circle one might want to be in. Starting in the late 20s and beyond age differences don't seem to matter much. A small difference, let's say 5 years is inconsequential. So people can date/partner up with whomever they want and its a matter of personal preference.

 

If i thought about this I think my preference is to be with someone around my own age, life experience is important, but not too much older.

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I think it becomes less important the older you get.

 

A friend of mine was dating at 26 year old when she was 16, and I couldn't understand why anyone his age would want to date someone so young - I actually do find that creepy. Sure, she was/is very mature for her age, but the person I was at 16 is massively different than I am even now, at 23.

 

I can't really see what they'd have in common - presumably he'd be looking at moving out, be a few years into his career, buying a car or a house...

 

whereas at 16, they couldn't go to concerts or bars together, they could only JUST have legal sex (In Australia at least), and even though she could have had a full time job, she didn't - she was still at school...

 

I just don't really get it. Once both people are at the same place in their lives though (working in their respective careers) then that's different, and the age gap really doesn't matter too much.

 

Although, personally, I wouldn't go over a 5 year gap - I just think it would be hard to have something in common with someone 20-40 years older, although I could stretch to 10 years, if he was a particularly young 33, and I really loved him!

 

I think it's very hard not to judge, since I just could not do it myself, but if you can see the love between them, then the age gap isn't relevant or important.

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I think if there is a 10 year difference or more than that seems a little creepy... maturity, life goals, motives, etc.

 

Ive always dated people a few years older than me, but Im very mature for my age and always seemed to get along better with them.

 

Right now Im dating a guy 7 years older than me & we get along perfect. He doesnt look much older than me & nobody has said anything bad about it. I dont think theres anything weird about it, we are both on the same page about everything. It seems to be the best relationship Ive been in so far smile.gif

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My father was 21 years older then my mother, and she suffered the stereotype aswell. Mainly from my fathers mother LOL But i also thing my father and mother got a double whammy with their relationship...Different nationalities and big age gap.

They stuck it out till my father passed on. I don't personally see anything wrong with a substancial age gap aslong as both parties know what they are doing. If its a teenager and 30yr old then i would be thinking its odd.

 

My grandmother (mums side) often tells me how selfish my parents were having babies with such an older father knowing he probally wouldn't be around for us when we were older. (he didn't die of old age though soi guess my mimi just likes to be mean :/)

 

Forgot to add I am 1year older then my husband.

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Oz, that's interesting, I think it really depends HOW old the father is. Both my parents are older, my dad is 67 this year (I'm 23) and my mum was 39 when I was born, so she's 63 this year.

 

I feel sad that my children may never see their grandparents, but then I respect their choice to have children late, as they decided to travel and enjoy their youth.

 

I do get irritated though, when they hint that I should be moving out, so they can save for their retirement - they'd have been saving for the last 10 years if they'd had children earlier, as I'd be in my 30s by now and definitely would have been moved out!

 

So, I can see both sides, but I don't really think it's selfish unless the parents are significantly older than mine even

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well my mum just turned 55, so she was 29 when she had me and 27 when she had my elder brother. Within European culture she was classed as a old mum. Dad was around 49 when my brother was born and I think 57 when he died so in comparison he was becoming a father when everyone else his age was becoming grandparents. His last words to my mother in hospital was 'thank you for giving me my children', he was the kind of guy who said he never wanted children I guess thats why he had them so late.

 

 

My grandma turned 76 this year..my father would of been the same age LOL thats probally why she didn't like him!

 

(SORRY to hijack original thread topic biggrin.gif)

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I don't think age gaps are that big of a deal unless they're underage. But I do cringe when I see someone under 25 dating a person way older or young than them. Underneath that age, a person spends a whole lot of time "growing up" and change constantly. What I wanting two weeks ago isn't even the same thing I want today lol.

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I also don't like the stereotype that the younger person is only in it for the money.

 

My SO is 10 yrs older then me: I am 24 and he's 34. I've always been attracted to older men because I like their level of maturity and I get along better with them. I could go on and on about the reasons I like older men smile.gif So, coming from the POV of the younger one in the relationship, I don't have any issues when it comes to dating older people.

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I don't think there's a problem with it but it depends on what age the youngest is, like I have a friend and he is 27 and was dating a 18 yr old, she graduated high school and wanted to go off to college and do the whole 'college' thing and he wanted her to move in with him instead of living in a dorm and wanted to be serious. I think once your already set in your career and know what you want to do with your life then age really doesn't matter but I don't think it's a good idea when they're too young and don't know who they are yet.

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My SO is 14 1/2 years older then me, i was 18 and he was 32 when we got together and its been 2 years for us. We have twin girls together and he has 2 kids from a past relationship.

 

The only thing thats ever been an issue is me not going out with him to bars cuz im not 21, but i dont drink very often anyways. We grew up different and have been thru different things in life but we get along great. Im in no way a gold digger and he isnt creepy.

 

I think people who cast stereotypes are stupid, how can you stereotype and judge something you dont know and have never been apart of.

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Im 39 my fiancee is 32 so no I don't have any issues except for when older men go for younger women like for an example shes 16 hes 30 eww!

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I am 35 and 14 years younger than my SO and quite happy. He is very young at heart and not as foolish as the men were at my age when I met him. We've been married for 8 years now and are still smiling. I will say that when one of them is like 18 and the other is 35 there is a big mental age difference, but Id say once you get to 25/30 it the difference starts to matter less. Guess it depends on the people too.

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Whether they are with older persons or persons their own ages, most young persons who have any relationships before they mature enough to know what they are looking for or really want in life will most always end up in broken relationships. It isn't age that matters. It is the maturity of the person themselves that determine that. I rarely ever look at any couple and judge them based on their ages. If I'm judgemental at all it is when I see really handsome people all lovey with ugly nerdy looking people. It makes you wonder how many zeros are after the one in the nerds bank account. My point being that it isn't only age that provokes those same thoughts in others but a wide variety of differant instances. :P

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Guest SewAmazing

I was pursued by men in their 40's when I was in my 20's and I don't need a father figure so I have that "yuck" syndrome still. I'm squeamish about big age differences. I have watched them turn out ugly in the end. Anything over 7yrs. I would'nt be bothered with personally. But, I allow others to make their own choices.

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when i was 17 i met mark he was 26 i was very young i know but he was *shock horror* a virgin and only ever had 1 short relationship (she was killed in a car crash) when they were at uni, we just fitted together and have now been together for 10 years (at the end of the month) the age gap doesnt bother either of us although my mum was worried when i told her when i had just met him but after a few months she met him and loved him to bits and i met his mum and dad and we got on really well. now though as im 27 and he is 36 the age gap isnt or doesnt seem so big or "severe" because im older even though obviously he is too lol we like the same things and hate the same things (well not everything that would be annoying lol) we laugh together and have fun, we have stuck with each other when it has been tough (and bloody hell its been tough) but we are still together and we love each other, i piss him off and he pisses me off but i dont think thats a bad thing. we like to spend time together but we also like to have a bit of "me time" i go to my mums and he goes for a drink after work with his mates. thing with relationships is that i dont believe you can ever 100% believe that they will last forever because you never know what life is going to throw at you so you still have to retain a certain percent of your independance and still be you but be a half or something aswell. so anyway i dont think age makes a damn bit of difference! sorry for ranting frown.gif

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For me, it really depends on how old the guy is. I would go for someone who is 8 or 9 years older than me, no more than that (my current boyfriend is 7 years older). If I see a girl going out with a guy who is 12 years older, that is acceptable as well. But yes it does get creepy if the girl is 20 and the guy is like 55, the idea of it just really gross me out, because he can be her father.

Why do so many people think young girls who go out with older guys are after money? because I have never in my life seen or heard a 20 year-old girl dating a poor 50 year old man. I don't know if any of you have.

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My best friend Kevin, 28 was dating a 46 year old lady! I couldn't stand it because he told me he first met her, dated, and had a sexual relationship with her at 16 years old, this means she was 34. I found something very wrong with that, she is a female pedophile.

 

I would tell him that I knew she wanted kids and she couldn't provide that, nor go out with any of his friends so what was the point. I hope this doesn't make me a B****, but they finally broke up when she had lied and said she was pregnant with his kid. He actually belived her and started to prepare until he noticed her belly wasn't swelling, nor was she going to dr appointments. One day I was over his house and he was upstairs and me and his sister (who also hates her) were downstairs when his phone rang and it was her! I answered the phone and said I was his girlfriend of the past 6 months and said she needed to stop calling. This lady blew up and said I was lying and his siter got on the phone and said that she was an old manipulative lady, etc. SHE CAME OVER within half an hour! His sister told her to leave, but she didn't so they started fighting. Kev never talked to her fake pregnant self again and that was what we wanted.

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I'm 28 and my fiance is 45.....you would never know it, he doesn't look his age or act his age lol. I love him and its certainly not for his money......we live in a 2 bedroom apartment! We acually met online, started out as friends, the last thing on either of our minds was a relationshiop beyond online friends. We acually didn't even chat about age... and the first time I seen him I honestly thought he was younger than me lol. We connected to each other. Our relationship started by getting to know one another, not physical attraction.....thank god when I seen him he was hot! I'm not sure I would advise anyone to start a relationship online or even an older somebody.....but it worked for me. I would say when love is right it finds you....you don't find love. Its seems what they say is true......love knows no boundries! That aside I think its a creepy if the other half of the relationship is still in there young teens.

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I'm 27 and am with a guy who is almost 51. We've been together for nearly 2 years and I can honestly say that this is the best relationship I have ever been in. He is way more caring and attentive than any guy my own age that I have ever been with, and actually wants to make me happy instead of thinking only about himself.

 

We have a better, and healthier, sex life than I've had with anyone else, and we have loads of things in common. He does not act like a 'stereotypical' fiftysomething; in fact, he actually had to ask me to explain this, and he then said he would 'rather slit his own throat than succumb to such a boring lifestyle'.

 

He does not act his age at all, and has the mental outlook, attitude, personality etc. of someone my own age or maybe even younger. He is very exciting, fun to be with, and likes to cause mischief and have fun. Sometimes, I actually find myself kind of 'forgetting' how old he is, because it's only in his greying hair and the lines on his face that he is the age he is, if that makes sense.

 

I am not a gold digger either. He is not absolutely loaded. He is generous, and buys me things, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable with this because I have very little money of my own and wish that I could treat him to nice things, as I would very much love to.

 

He is rich...rich in caring, understanding, patience, respect, and fun. And this is why I love him.

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Originally Posted by heartofdarkness View Post
I'm 27 and am with a guy who is almost 51. We've been together for nearly 2 years and I can honestly say that this is the best relationship I have ever been in. He is way more caring and attentive than any guy my own age that I have ever been with, and actually wants to make me happy instead of thinking only about himself.

 

We have a better, and healthier, sex life than I've had with anyone else, and we have loads of things in common. He does not act like a 'stereotypical' fiftysomething; in fact, he actually had to ask me to explain this, and he then said he would 'rather slit his own throat than succumb to such a boring lifestyle'.

 

He does not act his age at all, and has the mental outlook, attitude, personality etc. of someone my own age or maybe even younger. He is very exciting, fun to be with, and likes to cause mischief and have fun. Sometimes, I actually find myself kind of 'forgetting' how old he is, because it's only in his greying hair and the lines on his face that he is the age he is, if that makes sense.

 

I am not a gold digger either. He is not absolutely loaded. He is generous, and buys me things, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable with this because I have very little money of my own and wish that I could treat him to nice things, as I would very much love to.

 

He is rich...rich in caring, understanding, patience, respect, and fun. And this is why I love him.

Very well put smile.gif I agree with u, same as my relationship! I have never been in a better relationship in my life!

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Can someone please clear something up for me?

 

I am reading a lot of he doesn't act his age remarks, and I gotta ask if that really is what you mean. It's a good thing to some people when a man reaches his fifties and still behaves like a man in his early twenties? What about growth and maturity? Or is what you're really saying is he hasn't lost his zest for life (which I understand, and hope my husband and I never lose)?

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