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Ok my mother and stepfather have been fighting off and on about him checking out other women when we are in the grocery store,lowes,resturants,and the mall. The last time she caught him looking was in the grocery store. We were walking past a woman going to get ingredients for soupn and my stepdad stops turns all the way around and just stared at the woman.Im talking good five minute stare.

Well my mother of course is LIVID. She asked him why was he staring at that woman. He told her he wasnt he was staring at the candy next to her. Now this was a lit bc ALL the candy was set up next to where me and my mother were standing as we watched my stepdad stare at the woman.

The woman was so uncomfortable she left the area. Well we ran into her again in another part of the grocery store. She saw my stepdad and rushed out of the aisle. My mother yelled at him all the way home. They have been fighting ever since this incident happened thursday.

So i know they say a man will stop looking when he is dead but to just flat out stare while your wife is there next to you? Isnt that just RUDE? Is my mother overreacting? Is my stepdad wrong? I dont know cos im not married and if i saw my bf staring a woman down i wouldnt be to happy either. What do yall think?

 
This is problem even if they weren't married. This would be a problem even if they were just barely dating. It's rude and disrespectful towards your mother. I don't think there's anything wrong with glancing, sometimes your walking and someone just gets your attention and you unconsciously look twice (I do it and so does my husband even when were together) but we sure as hell don't stare down someone to the point that they're uncomfortable. Just bc you're dedicated to someone it doesn't mean that minor attractions for others die. But it does mean that you don't check someone out as if you're looking for something you can't get in the first place.

 
There is nothing wrong with looking, cause thats gonna happen, but double takes and staring, very disrespectful

 
My mother says hes been doing this for ten yrs AND i find this out too : My mother and stepdad went to this church we were all dying to check out. Well i was still n college at the time so they went that sunday w/o me. Well my mama says that my stepdad was OOGLING the PREACHERS ill say it again THE PREACHERS daughter who was MY AGE mid 20s.He was so awful that the preacher saw him and went over to where he was sitting and prayed for my stepfather. My mama said she was so embarrassed that she will never go to that church again.

Then to top it off the preacher has a sermon he puts out on podcast and the preacher started to preach about lusting after women when you are married. He gave the example about a man oogling his daughter in church. The preacher preached about lust for at least a month. I didnt put the pieces together i just thought he was just talking about lust in general but i did not know my stepdad was the inspiration
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Originally Posted by TwinkletOes26 /img/forum/go_quote.gif My mother says hes been doing this for ten yrs AND i find this out too : My mother and stepdad went to this church we were all dying to check out. Well i was still n college at the time so they went that sunday w/o me. Well my mama says that my stepdad was OOGLING the PREACHERS ill say it again THE PREACHERS daughter who was MY AGE mid 20s.He was so awful that the preacher saw him and went over to where he was sitting and prayed for my stepfather. My mama said she was so embarrassed that she will never go to that church again.
Then to top it off the preacher has a sermon he puts out on podcast and the preacher started to preach about lusting after women when you are married. He gave the example about a man oogling his daughter in church. The preacher preached about lust for at least a month. I didnt put the pieces together i just thought he was just talking about lust in general but i did not know my stepdad was the inspiration
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Wow, this is quite embarassing. It seems like he has always done this and he quite obvious about it. No good.

 
Of course his behaviour is highly disrespectful.

But until she stops allowing it to happen, she'll always be unhappy with his behaviour.

 
i know yall i mean i can only get in it so much bc its not my marriage but she asked my opinion i told her id ditched his arse.

 
I agree with all the ladies. But, there is something deeper here. As a married person that also happens to be male (sigh), I will glance at an attractive woman. It's just human nature. But, only a glance. It sounds to me like your stepdad may have a psychological problem. What he is doing is not normal to me. He would be better off talking to a psychiatrist and seeking help before someone files a police complaint, he gets beat up by an angry SO... or worse.

 
I agree with Aprill, Adrienne and Joan...

Looking is ok, but what he's doing is disrespectful and the fact that he doesn't have any reigns on it could signal a deeper problem. And for 10 years? That's ridiculous...

I don't want to scare you, but I'll give you this story. My best friend in secondary school's dad was like that. When I met him in form 1, I just thought he was one of those young at heart, cool dads. When we'd go out and stuff, he'd ogle ladies and make comments about them. It was weird to my young brain, but I didn't pay it any mind. Then as I got closer to her, I realized that it didn't stop when her mum was around. He'd still carry on about the woman staring and commenting and oh if he was single what he would do... FFWD to present time. They're getting a divorce. Why? He has a young mistress in Miami who he wants to go live with because my friend's mum doesn't "do it" for him anymore... After almost 30 years of marriage... Yea...

So if I were yr mom, I'd be wary of that kind of behaviour. It's not loving or normal...

 
reese is right. it could be pointing to a deeper problem. i wouldn't accept that kind of behavior from any man whether i was married to him or if he was just my boyfriend. seriously if my boyfriend was doing that i'd have a big talk with him.

 
i kinda think your mom is out of line, you said your step dad has been doing this for ten years, well odds are that he did it long before that to and your mom should of picked up on it long ago.

that being said i do think that he is out of line it is in mens nature to look, but a stare and a glance are two diffrent things, i think a glance is okay but a stare is way out of line and if the person you are looking at notices kinda creepy

 
I agree. Your stepdad is being rude and disrespectful. Glancing does no harm but staring is just taking it too far!

Your mum and stepdad need to talk about this. Its upto your mum if she wants to put a stop to this or give him a chance to change if he really wants to. He should get some help by seeking counselling and your mum could attend too if they really want to make their marriage work.

 
Originally Posted by Orangeeyecrayon /img/forum/go_quote.gif i kinda think your mom is out of line, you said your step dad has been doing this for ten years, well odds are that he did it long before that to and your mom should of picked up on it long ago.
that being said i do think that he is out of line it is in mens nature to look, but a stare and a glance are two diffrent things, i think a glance is okay but a stare is way out of line and if the person you are looking at notices kinda creepy

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@the bolded. She said she didnt believe it bc she had never been with a man who did that before she was in shock and thought once they married it would stop
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....i think they going to get counseling. I would have ditched his behind LONG ago but then again im not married to him so its her choice.

BTW this makes me not wanna marry even more.

 
Twinkle, that is a good point, why would it stop just because they were married? this is something she should have brought up with him before they tied the knot, but the fact is, it's not appropriate and it needs to get sorted out before it gets any worse...

I hope it works out for your mum's sake!

 
What a jerk!! And I look at women too but not like that!! And I'm more looking at what they are wearing or their makeup! Lol. My wife would kick my ass if I did what he did!! Sounds like he's trying to piss your mom off big time!!

 
Originally Posted by TwinkletOes26 /img/forum/go_quote.gif She said she didnt believe it bc she had never been with a man who did that before she was in shock and thought once they married it would stop
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I honestly believe this is the number two reason for divorce (money 1st). People assume that the other person will change once they're married.
 

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