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Hey everyone. I'm really stressed out and in bit of a situation. I just wanted some advice or see if anyone could explain to me better what this means.

Long story short my ex boyfriend is away in a rehab center in abother state. He's been in and out of treatment centers for almost a year now. We had an apartment that we were both living in and i moved out over a year ago however we remained friends and I've been looking after him since he's been battling his drug addiction. His family hasnt been there and have been no help to me at all. Heres the thing. He's being evicted from his apartment. Their is a court hearing scheduled. I am NOT living in the apartment and havent in over a year. just been stopping by here and there to check on him or do things for him. while hes been in rehab ive been over there cleaning and getting his mail also taking care of things like handling his money and paying the rent and bills for him. He was the applicant on the lease and his parents co-signed for him to get it. I was listed on there I believe as an occupant. They knew i was a student at the time and would be living there but i didnt want to be responsible for the apartment if we had ever spilt up or anything so i wanted a key and all so i was an occupant but never had my credit or anything ran.

Well I've been completely alone to deal with this. Moving him out of the apartment. I have had no help. I had to sell the furniture just to get it moved out. I am drained emmotionally. Just dealing with an addict takes its toll on you. I picked up his mail today and got the letter from court about his eviction hearing and it states to him "& all other occupants" I am now really worried that this will effect me because i am on the lease as an occupant but not as the owner applicant. I honestly have no energy or the time and money to attend a court hearing that has nothing to do with me. He's away getting treatment theres no way he'll be able to make it. I just wanted to move everything out for him and be done with it. I'm living back with my parents now I never changed my license address or my address I havent been living there. The landlord knows that I havent been living there that i've just been paying his rent for him (with his money) and picking his mail up. I'm so upset because if they try to come after me for this my credit will be completely ruined and i will never be able to get a mortgage or rent. for an eviction that i had nothing to do with or had no control over.

I guess I'm just looking for advice on this. Can anyone tell me if they think I will take a hit for this? I'm so worried about it i cant eat or sleep or even think about anything else. like I said I am on the lease I believe as an occupant but I'm not an applicant. It was his aparmtnet not mine. I just want this explained to me better and advice.

Thank you for the help

 
I'm not sure how it works in your state or if there are specific regulations but technically (from my own understanding) the occupants have nothing at all to do with the contract that the tenant (your boyfriend) signed. If anything, his parents who cosigned on the lease are the ones who they will go after. Most landlords only like to keep track of who's living where and require occupants listed for that reason.

The tenant signs the lease and are financially held responsible for the apartment. The occupants are individuals who have the landlord's permission to live there (hence the reason they require occupents to be listed) but bear no responsibility towards any rent the tenant has failed to pay. They can, however, be evicted along with the tenant should the tenant breach the contract for whatever reason.

Where I used to live, my husband signed the lease and me and my son were listed as occupants. It would be insane to try and charge my child for my husband not paying the rent. You have no binding contract with the landlord, you bear no responsiblity.

 
don't worry about this, maybe try not to get involved too much. i mean you did your share already, he's a grown up he should be able to clean up his own mess

 
It really is his problem, and his parents if they are involved in the lease. You should be scott free. Also, Hon, you should not be enabling him by doing for him what he needs to be doing. I'm sure you've heard this before. He needs to hit his bottom and be able to start back up doing for himself.Do I sound tough? I don't mean to, but tough love is required, and addictions are tough opponents that need decisive actions. Does he even know about the eviction? Can you contact his counselor at rehab?

I applaud you for all you've done for him, but it may be time to stop.

Best of wishes for you whatever you do.

Nan

 
Thank you for all the advice. He completed treatment and is now living in Florida in soberliving. So far doing well. I did have his counsoler take care of it for me and I moved everything out. As far as I can remember I did not sign anything but it was so long ago who knows! dumb on my part I guess but i remember discussing it with the lanlord at the time that I was in school and didnt want any responsibility for the place if something went wrong. Knowing I was moving in with someone who I loved but was on and off drugs. Which is why everything went into his name. His parents are on drugs themselves and havent helped me out one bit nor have they even called to find out how their son is. They are useless heartless people who I'm glad are out of my life and his. I understand what Nan was saying about the enabling I do! but in this situation I had no choice because he was in Florida and I had no help from his family. From what they are telling me everything is taken care of with court and the rehab took care of it. I havent heard anything else from the landlord. So hopefully I am fine! I was really upset about it.

It is a very tough thing being in a relationship with a person who is an addict and self destructive. Its tough loving someone with this problem. I think it goes beyond just a relationship I have literally been through hell over and over and hes the best and worst person i know rolled into one. Whether we are together or not 8 years in my life is a long time and hes like my family so I love him regardless. If I can't seem to turn my back on him no matter what I cant understand how a mother can.

thanks for all the help and support!

 
Originally Posted by Jordan0326 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hey everyone. I'm really stressed out and in bit of a situation. I just wanted some advice or see if anyone could explain to me better what this means.
Long story short my ex boyfriend is away in a rehab center in abother state. He's been in and out of treatment centers for almost a year now. We had an apartment that we were both living in and i moved out over a year ago however we remained friends and I've been looking after him since he's been battling his drug addiction. His family hasnt been there and have been no help to me at all. Heres the thing. He's being evicted from his apartment. Their is a court hearing scheduled. I am NOT living in the apartment and havent in over a year. just been stopping by here and there to check on him or do things for him. while hes been in rehab ive been over there cleaning and getting his mail also taking care of things like handling his money and paying the rent and bills for him. He was the applicant on the lease and his parents co-signed for him to get it. I was listed on there I believe as an occupant. They knew i was a student at the time and would be living there but i didnt want to be responsible for the apartment if we had ever spilt up or anything so i wanted a key and all so i was an occupant but never had my credit or anything ran.

Well I've been completely alone to deal with this. Moving him out of the apartment. I have had no help. I had to sell the furniture just to get it moved out. I am drained emmotionally. Just dealing with an addict takes its toll on you. I picked up his mail today and got the letter from court about his eviction hearing and it states to him "& all other occupants" I am now really worried that this will effect me because i am on the lease as an occupant but not as the owner applicant. I honestly have no energy or the time and money to attend a court hearing that has nothing to do with me. He's away getting treatment theres no way he'll be able to make it. I just wanted to move everything out for him and be done with it. I'm living back with my parents now I never changed my license address or my address I havent been living there. The landlord knows that I havent been living there that i've just been paying his rent for him (with his money) and picking his mail up. I'm so upset because if they try to come after me for this my credit will be completely ruined and i will never be able to get a mortgage or rent. for an eviction that i had nothing to do with or had no control over.

I guess I'm just looking for advice on this. Can anyone tell me if they think I will take a hit for this? I'm so worried about it i cant eat or sleep or even think about anything else. like I said I am on the lease I believe as an occupant but I'm not an applicant. It was his aparmtnet not mine. I just want this explained to me better and advice.

Thank you for the help

I think it depends on what the law is for your state. If you didn't sign the lease, or have your credit ran, I don't think it has any bearing on you, but I would still double check to be certain. You wouldn't want to miss a court date by mistake.
If you need legal advice, often each state has a Legal Aid source where you can get free information and help, depending on your income.

I would also recommend that you might try attending some meetings for the caregivers of addicts. It sounds like you could really use some support right now.

I hope everything works out for you and your friend. God bless.

 

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