Why should people conform?

to the rules of "beauty"?
why should i only be allowed to wear dark colors at night?
why do you consider black lipstick ugly? goth?
do you really have nothing better to do than stare at that girl's too dark foundation, or mismatched lips?
if they want to look like adorabatbrat for a day, let them.
why should i conform to the media's ideal image of beauty?



feel free to cuss me out, hatemail is appreciated.

I think people conform to get hired for jobs, make a good impression on teachers, and for cops to never give them a second look.

We should never conform but we should always do what we have to do to get by. No one change the spirit of who we are unless we allow them too. You have to wear a suit and tie to get a job so what. Does that make you any less goth? No it does not. It might insure that you are not hungry, homeless and you can afford those beautiful goth clothes. I was goth long before there was a goth so I understand believe me I do. I have been stared at laughed at and I even had holy water thrown on me (by my mother). We do what we have to do to survive.

i dont think you have to conform at all,

i mostly have my outter apperance pretty normal because i am about to finish college and enter the carrer world, but that being said i do have tattoos and stuff (all can be covered easily) cause it lets me express myself and still fit inside the relm of carrer apropriate attire

I just find it ironic that you have a picture of Kiki Cannibal and talk about nonconformity.

Every other teenage girl walks around the mall in smudged raccoon emo liner. What is so nonconformist about that? I mean if they want to wear that because they genuinely like it, but you can't go preaching about nonconformity by using something rather mainstream as an example.

As for conforming to society's perception of beauty, there is a fine line between doing something because you want to do it, and just doing something without realizing it looks terrible. Unfortunately as visual creatures, people judge on first impressions. I respect any person's wish to look differently, but they should also realize that by stepping forward and being different, they have to be willing to stand up for themselves and justify themselves. The majority of society has a very "judging a book by it's cover" mentality. That's just the way the world is.

And for the record, I think Adora Bat Brat is absolutely fabulous, and I adore her style.

Originally Posted by Jazzie /img/forum/go_quote.gif We should never conform but we should always do what we have to do to get by. No one change the spirit of who we are unless we allow them too. You have to wear a suit and tie to get a job so what. Does that make you any less goth? No it does not. It might insure that you are not hungry, homeless and you can afford those beautiful goth clothes. I was goth long before there was a goth so I understand believe me I do. I have been stared at laughed at and I even had holy water thrown on me (by my mother). We do what we have to do to survive. as a fellow ex goth, that made me laugh a lot. well put

I guess I try to conform... But to the wrong standards! Lol. I've been a conforming non-conformist all my life.. And wear what I want, where I want..

Well, I have a hard time liking people that think they are so ****ing special, that they do not need to behave. To be taken serious as a grown up, you must look like one.

I agree that most people choose to 'conform' because they want to make a good impression to get decent jobs, to make sure police don't pay undue attention to them, to be accepted by their peers.

That being said I've never understood teenage unconformity - if everyone is dressing the same, wearing the same emo liner and so on, then aren't those people just conforming to another stereotype?

if you wear goth clothing, black lipstick etc, aren't you conforming to the standards and expectations of what a certain section of the community likes?

all groups have aesthetics so that people can recognise each other - whether you choose to dress as a prep, in sports stuff, goth, emo, scene, whatever, there are certain fashion 'rules' or 'looks' that people follow within those groups.

I think it's lamer to be in one of these groups that would laugh at me for supposedly 'conforming' when those people are all wearing the same clothes, the same brands, the same black lipstick - totally utterly ironic.

I conform because I want to be taken seriously as an adult, I conform because I dont want to feed into unnecessary stereotypes.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look like a woman, there is something wrong when you want to walk into society looking like a skunk. That's not conforming. And when you wear black lipstick and all that other stuff, you are conforming to a standard for that kind of person. Black lips and all that good stuff is nice for Halloween and in the privacy of your own home...not for everyday wear.

So I say this and then I am done. In reference to that picture that you posted:

1. If I were poor and you were my appointed attorney, and you walked in looking like that...I would represent myself.

2. If I was sick and you are the ER doctor that walked in looking like that, I would prefer to get another doctor or die.

3. People that want to walk around looking like that for everyday looks belong in a different genre of working class: Artists, hair stylists, makeup artists, creative stuff. And just because some people walk around looking like art, dosent mean they can do art.

Originally Posted by Sexy Sadie /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, I have a hard time liking people that think they are so ****ing special, that they do not need to behave. To be taken serious as a grown up, you must look like one. God yes! I don't expect people to be cookie cutter versions of each other, but you can be an individual AND present yourself in an acceptable way. In my experience the people who have a giant ego(and boy do they!) about being different from all of the "conformist sheep" tend to think all the rules shouldn't apply to them, and I'm not just talking rules of dress.
As far as the picture posted, I could care less if you dress that way on your own time. I hate how fashion tries to dictate how people should look. Personal style is much different than professional though. In a professional environment don't expect to be treated seriously. The why should I conform to your standards? attitude isn't what employers are looking for.

Originally Posted by Sexy Sadie /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, I have a hard time liking people that think they are so ****ing special, that they do not need to behave. To be taken serious as a grown up, you must look like one. I kinda agree. I also think everyone goes through a "i dont want to conform with society!" stage which in itself is kinda conforming. lol If that makes sense. So yeah we all do it whether you want to admit it or not.

We conform because with a look are attached certain social images, stereotypes if you want to call them that. Do what you have to do to ensure you have a job, and can be responsible for yourself.

But i don't think people are sheep. Just by looking around in this forum we're all trying to find makeup looks that will show our personality while still being accepted in the work/school area. To me you always have the possibility of voicing yourself out, and you don't necessarily have to do it in an extravagant way.

As for the goth look, i think a mistake most people do is think you have to wear an all black look to be goth, which is wrong as there many types of looks and every goth try to have his/her own, so black is a classic, but not exclusive color. If it needs to be said, gothic is a cultural and musical movement.

I also think it's really ironic that someone who is all about the black and black eyeliner is so busy looking at the colorful "sheep" that they don't notice their own herd surrounding them.

For someone so 'edgy' ...I always did wonder how sharp that sheep's wool is anyway.

Oh my .....lol well i wouldnt call what any of us do conforming. I mean when you become an adult you realize you have to do what is called on to survive. Sure Id love to sport purple and green eyeshadow at work but sadly the places where I will be working wont allow such as that so i will have to do it on my own time. I mean seriously most jobs are 9-5 5 days a week so you have between friday night and sunday night to wear what you want.

You also forget that there are ways to wear bright colors in the work place makeupbytiffanyd and several other mu gurus on tv have shown that. I mean today i wore gold,orange and cranberry e/s to thanksgiving dinner. I even did the same look on my neutral loving mother who HATES blue e/s LOL she adored it bc it looked neutral eventhough it had color. No one is saying you have to change who you are to be an adult but you must somewhat compromise i suppose to to get a decent job at least.

Also there are adult goths lol like jazzie said but they realized that to be a successful adult in the working world you have to save the black lipstick for your own time...on a side note JAZZIE you were goth...i must see pics please post pics i just cant imagine it. You look like a news anchor(in a good way) .....

Well, I've got blue hair, and so far that hasn't gotten me in any trouble and I work for a conservative company. I've worked for other "professional" companies as well and haven't had issues. Why? Because the world is a big ass place and I believe that there is a place for everyone. Even the ones you call "sheep".

You don't have to conform unless your life depends on it. I looked goth up until I was about 25 years old, I was constantly followed by security guards at malls, harassed on public transportation, and found it hard to find a serious job. I basically got sick of dealing with "the other people" harassing me, so I calmed my makeup down a bit and tried to grow my eyebrows back, but they were ruined from a combo of waxing too much and a hormone disease that made them fall out.

I ended up getting a job at Yahoo, and slowly, but surely creeped my way back to neon colored hair and although people looked at my funny, I did find other employees with blue hair, pink hair, etc. and felt much better about not being alone. I am currently looking for a new job, so my hair is strawberry blonde with platinum streaks, I really like it.. it's not "ME" persay, but I need a job so I can live, eat, pay rent, etc.

I am 33, my style changes, my idea of fashion is always changing, but I try to make sure "the other people" aren't offended by my appearance. I probably won't get promoted to management or anything, and yes, I think my appearance has a lot to do with it, but I do my best job that I can to show them that my looks have NOTHING to do with my job performance. Unfortunately, corporate environments do not want a goth chick representing the company, so I have to do what I can to tone down my look. It's just life, and yeah, it does suck, but ya just gotta live with it.

I conform by writing on the left side of the page

Ummm I happen to like the way I look and I'm not conforming to anybody. I'm currently in the process of growing my hair past my butt and believe me I get plenty of comments about how I should cut it, dye it, and that I'm too old for long hair (i'm 34). I do what make me happy and if that makes the people who think their "not normal" and look down their noses at me because they think I'm a freaking sheep then so be it.

.... 34 is not 'too old' for anything!

I'm 24 and I still make sandcastles when I go to the beach, people can suck it if they don't like it, I bet your hair looks good!