A case of really bad luck

Arrrgh. As some of you may have read in the secret santa thread, I'm having seasonal issues.

My mum a few days ago tripped off the bottom step of the stairs in our house and landed on her arm, dislocating her elbow. they gave her morphine and popped it back in the same night, but she still has to have an operation to remove some of the bits of shattered bone and make sure it's sitting in its socket correctly otherwise it might heal wrong and give her serious trouble later in life.

the operation we found out today, will be on tuesday (22nd). it's the only time the elbow specialist is available. we could go private, but it would cost an insane amount of money and probably wouldn't get seen any earlier. it's a quick, straightforward operation but it is under general anaesthetic so she will need a day in hospital afterward. it could be that she doesn't come out until thursday at the latest which is christmas eve, as we all know.

my mum's upset and cross with herself for doing it and that she has to miss most of the christmas preparations. my dad is still full of cold and trying to do his best to comfort her but it's not easy. me and my sister basically have to take over all the christmas jobs this year, my mum essentially has only one working arm so she can't cook dinner or hang decorations or anything.

on tuesday my boyfriend is going to come up to spend christmas with us, and my grandma (who is very old) is coming up the day before. so everything has to be done NOW.

it's a strange time. i feel worried for my mum and sad that christmas won't be the same as usual. this christmas was always going to be a different one as it will be the first one without my other grandma who passed over the summer. i've never had a christmas without her there and we're all conscious of it, so it's a bit of a sad time to begin with.

when my grandma and felix get here me and my sister will be taking care of four people between us (my gran, dad, mum and entertaining felix as a guest) as well as still grieving. we will still all be together on christmas day but it's just hard thinking that my mum might not be here on christmas eve, and she would be really upset if she had to spend that much time in hospital. and hospitals remind her of my grandma, she's in the ward not far from where my gran died so it's really close to home.

i'd just really appreciate some kind words, some advice on how to deal with all this. just writing it out has helped.

I'm so sorry that this is going to be so different this year. I can only imagine how hard this Christmas will be for you guys. I would comfort your mom bc it sounds like she's feeling very guilty as well about not being able to do much. Accidents happen and the truth is she won't always be able to help out. At least she'll most likely be out by Christmas Day (that's a good present ) and luckily you all still have each other so it's not only one person dealing with everything.

Why don't you guys surprise your mom and bring some christmas cheer up to the hospital on christmas eve? You guys could talk about all the good holidays with your grandmother to make the hospital stay more homely. I'm sure your grandma would be looking down lovingly knowing you all loved her so much. **hugs**

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif Why don't you guys surprise your mom and bring some christmas cheer up to the hospital on christmas eve? You guys could talk about all the good holidays with your grandmother to make the hospital stay more homely. I'm sure your grandma would be looking down lovingly knowing you all loved her so much. **hugs** That's a good idea.
I am sorry you all are dealing with this right now.

thanks you guys. we're all hoping right now that she won't be in for christmas eve, but we will just have to see what happens. i'm just crossing my fingers that nothing more goes wrong.

lol if my gran was here she'd be telling me to stop being so moany and get on with making the peppermint creams!

Aw Im so sorry about your Mom, My only suggestion is to try to make it as joyful as you can ( the preparations) after all it is Christmas.. I hope your Mom's arm heals well.

Aww Luce--that's too bad. The first holiday without a loved one is always hard. This year you might talk about it and be sad, but it does get a wee bit easier with time--next year you will probably be talking about her in a happy way.

And I say make the damn peppermint creams! That might help make you feel better too.

And yes, depending how long your mom is in on Christmas Eve, take her a present or some treats or something, and just go be with her--that's the important thing.

I know how you feel.... It's my first christmas without my grandpa and my grandma's now in a nursing home, and my husband is away until mid Jan. We always used to have a huge party at their house on Christmas and it won't be the same this year.

Others have had good advice. It's hard when things change we have Christmas without loved ones. All you can do is make the holidays as happy as possible. Your grandma would want you to and I'm sure your mom will be home in time.

Hope that your mom's arm heals well!

Make your mom a big plate of Christmas dinner and have everyone take it to her along with a present and maybe some decorations to cheer her up. You could get like a baked apple pie candle or something warm and cozy and take it to her. I know Christmas baking smells make me cheery. Hope your holidays look up soon

i know it is super stressful having to wory about everything so last minute too. But i think it will be fine. Dont go crazy trying to get everything exactly like your mom would have it just do what you can. And there is an up-side. No matter what you do your mom will most likely love it because she will be on the pain meds wich usually make people really happy.

Tell your Mom good luck with her operation and let us know how it turns out. When things go wrong, you just have to step up and take care of things. We know that's what you have been doing. Your Gran would want you to be happy (and make the peppermint creams )!!

I'm a little late in posting this..

I'm sorry to hear about your mom's elbow Please keep us updated on her progress

I agree with the others. Bringing some holiday baking, Christmas decor to her room, being surrounded with support with family and friends will help ease her pain and her recovery.

Oh Lucy - I don't know how I missed this thread!

I am so sorry all that has happened to you so close to Christmas. I really hope your Mums operation went well and she is recovering ok, I also hope your Dad's cold is getting better. It's so terrible when things like this happen so close to such special days.

I'm sure you and your sister did a beautiful job getting Christmas all ready - I bet the house looked fab and that the food was delicious!

I hope everyone is healing ok. *big hugs* for you Luce, and I hope you ended up having a wonderful Christmas!

how did the operation go? how did all the preparations work out in the end?

I'm sorry you had such a stressful leadup to christmas..

thanks bec. the operation was a success, we think. we found out when we took her in that she has actually torn some ligaments too, so it would be a more serious operation than we thought, and that she might not get her arm back working perfectly ever. and then they told us that it was likely she wouldn't be discharged until CHRISTMAS DAY!

so i cried, everyone cried, and then i had to go pick felix up from the station, and he was really excited to be there, and i just felt awful, like christmas had been cancelled or something. it was a really terrible day.

so then my mum had the operation, she was just under 4 hours in the theatre and then came out and was awake by evening. the next day me my sister and felix went in to visit and she was perfectly fine! lol sitting up in bed, rosy cheeked, talking and making jokes. nothing like we'd expected. because she had made such a good recovery from the anaesthetic they were able to pot and cast her the next day, and then discharge her after that, so she came home on christmas eve afternoon. it was the best christmas present ever! lol. yesterday me and my dad cooked the whole meal and it was very tasty. and felix really helped with doing washing up and cleaning and bits that my mum just couldn't do. he was a real help these last few days.

now she has to be in the pot for three weeks and after that, a brace, and then extensive physio. it's likely she won't be able to drive for around 6 months to a year, depending on how the physio does. i'm just so so thankful that she's ok and was able to spend christmas day with us.