Need relationship advice

To be honest there is not much that you can do except be there for him and let him know everything will be ok. Real men tend to feel less than significant when they are not the bread winner and things go sour. Its just the male nature.

men without jobs are really hard to deal with, i really sympathise for you. it's harder even now, because there are less jobs. your SO might feel (as mine does) that all the news and talk of there being no jobs means there's not even point in looking. but sadly, unemployment affects relationships, and there's little you can do.

you sound a lot like me in your relationship, answering when things are wrong, speaking out, and i know like me you're doing it because you care for your SO, and you don't want things to go unsaid, but sometimes its just not what they want to hear. he's probably getting a bit annoyed at it, and is taking it out on you by nitpicking about your snoring, which is unfair because you can't help that. it is fustrating when he needs to get a job and you can't magically make him get one, and when he doesn't seem eager to look. but that's not something you can do for him i'm afraid.

try to sit tight, and talk things over with him when he's a bit calmer, in a non aggressive way. unemployment does affect relationships but it need not break you up.

The two of you are going through a stressful time and people react to stress in different ways. Just give him some space and let him work things out. He feels terrible about his lack of a job and that affects everything...That being said, I don't like the jabbing stuff. If he is getting physical with you, that is a very bad thing and stress doesn't excuse that.

I wouldn't blame myself. It's been three months now. If not having work was the root of the problem, he would have been out seeking a job from the beginning. Not using excuses as to why he isn't out looking.

It sounds to me like you are trying very hard to support him and make things work and he isn't even trying to step up to the plate and work with you and it is getting worse as time goes by.

If you are going to sit back and be quiet, then do so but also at the same time, don't blame yourself. If he is more interested in whatever it is he has on his computer and isn't willing to even talk with you about it, then do find that support group.

sounds like things are a little better for you. i know what you mean about the routine thing! we're actually in very similar situations, my boyfriend is unemployed too, and he needs to look for a job so that we have the money to move in together over summer. i don't have time to get a job myself because it's my last semester of university so i have to concentrate on that. but he sleeps in till the mid afternoon, gets up, eats, showers, plays video games.. and then it's about dinner time and he still hasn't looked. it drives me mad, and it's so fustrating that our future really depends on him getting a job and though he says time and time again how much he really wants to live with me and actually get a job, he still doesn't look.

sorry for thread hijacking a bit, i just wanted you to know there's people out there going through the same things. at the end of the day though, they're their own person, and you can't MAKE people do things. you just have to wait it out and hope they figure it out by themselves.

About the snoring...

I live next to a hospital and fire dept, so I have been buying ear plugs at Wal-greens and I sleep like a baby every night bc I am the lightest sleeper on earth.

IDK what to say about your predicament, but it could be worse. I have been guilty of the night jab, myself. I needs my sleep.