Dumped...I think?

The guy I wrote about in a few other threads, offically (I think) broke up with me today. We had plans to get together tonight, I sent him a msg to confirm and he called and told me he accidentally double booked himself tonight and if other plans came along, that I should take them.

That comment pissed me off and we got into it...I told him that I moved my whole weekend around to hang out with him tonight and he told me he never asked me to do that and that was all my doing. He told me not to blame it on him and so on. I asked if he wanted to end things becuase I felt like he never wanted to see me and he said we had been fighting a lot the last 4 weeks...I asked him again if he wanted to end things and he said he 'honestly doesnt know what he wants'. He also said he didnt want to string me along if he wasnt 100% (uhh too late for that).

He said he needed time to think about things and that we have been arguing so much lately that he doesnt know if we can make it work. He told me he would let me know as soon as he thought about it, it might not be today, tomorow but ASAP. I said a face to face might be helpful and asked if he was available to meet in the afternoon sunday...he said he MAY be available and will let me know tomorow morning.

What the hell am I supposed to do with this!? I like him....I dont want it to end...is it stupid that Im trying to hold onto something that it seems like he doesnt even care about?

You need to let this dude go! Its not worth it! You are wasting your time big time.

I Agree !!! A relationshipp needs two people to try not one No matter how much you try you cant love enough for the both of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Emily and MakeupbyMe..

he seems like he is already stringing you along.. If it ends I hope u get over him fast , broken hearts suck.

You are dealing with the type of man that I hate.... he's comparable to a dog that is on the leash walking BEHIND you....

You tell him your birthday is not a big deal...and he ignores that and you on your birthday... (though I saw that as being not a big deal, it kinda is because so early into a relationship a man shouldnt be ignoring you)

You get a new hairdo...he ignores that too.....

You set a date in which you have to move things around for him....not vice versa...

You have to message him to confirm the date....not vice versa.

And the one time he wants to be a man and get control of his balls....its to kinda sorta break up... he will let you know.....oh hellll no.

Understandable that you like him...but think forward I dunno 3-5 years with him when real issues in a relationship come up...financial issues, babies, buying things together, marriage, engagement...parties... Is this what you wanna deal with?

I'm not a tiny girl, its not as easy for us 'big gals' to get dates, so i suppose ive held onto the notion that its better to have something, even if at times its ****in crappy, then to have nothing at all? I know how stupid everything I am saying sounds to others, trust me, I know...and I wish i were the type of women who could be all 'oh hell no' and tell him where to shove it and that i dont need/want him, but im clearly not, I have insecurities. I know i shouldnt want to be with someone who doesnt want to be 100% with me, b ut how do you tell yourself that and make yourself believe it?

I am going to have to agree with these girls, especially Aprill. He is not worth the time you are investing in him. I know it sucks, especially if you really like him but there is something out there you will like just as much and will treat you with respect, courtesy and kindness. Don't waste your time and tears on those that won't take the time to properly invest in you.

Edit: We all have insecurities and to be perfectly honest I am "well rounded" too. I have a good decent partner in life who does appreciate and accept all of me. Trust me sweetie, they are out there. Please don't think for one second because you are overweight, too tall, too short or whatever that someone won't want all of you.

I must end this phenomena of plus sized women feeling like they are not the shit....... but that's a whole other thread.....

I just gotta say No wonder you have a guy like that Honey It does not matter the Size you are or your looks If You see yourself as worthless or Unworthy Than Thats exactly the way others will view you!!!!!!!!!!!! I say stay single for a bit & learn to love you Than when the time is right you meet someone who will love you for you....................... You have to truly know you deserve better Respect yourself and others will follow!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by MakeupByMe /img/forum/go_quote.gif If You see yourself as worthless or Unworthy Than Thats exactly the way others will view you!!!!!!!!!!!! I say stay single for a bit & learn to love you Than when the time is right you meet someone who will love you for you....................... You have to truly know you deserve better Respect yourself and others will follow!!!!!!!! Sooo beyond true. This was a hard lesson learned for me.

I think all of this comes down to is you investing in yourself and working on those insecurities and you will find someone when you arent even looking. i only say that because I found someone without even looking.

i agree 100% with the other girls. it may not feel like it now if you still sorta hold a flame for him, but this guy is a ****. as aprill says, he doesn't even have the balls to break it off to your face.

it's acceptable to have insecurities and feel crap about yourself sometimes because we all do, but all you have now is a man who is making that worse. you had to text him just to make sure he still wanted to go out. that won't make you feel good about yourself. you need someone who can show you respect and that will in turn build your confidence. i speak as someone who spent 3 years letting myself be treated the way you are, and it took me those 3 years to realise i shouldn't settle for anything less. save yourself some time and be happy you're rid of him.

At this point, more than working on your relationship with him, you really should be working on building your relationship with yourself. You are a warm and wonderful person that deserves to be loved and admired by the SO in your life and treated like the pretty princess you really are. When they love you, you know it because they feel dumb cuz they broke the bouquet of flowers they brought you for your birthday when they walk blindly into a wall or door cuz they couldn't take their eyes off your pretty face. That is the person you want to call your own.

If he has to think about it... Then let him go!

I really want to wade in on this thread but everyone is giving you perfect advice and guidance.

One thing I can add is that you only knew him for a few months.

The reality is that most relationships don't go beyond the 3 or 4 month period.

Frankly, be happy that you got rid of him - he sounds like a dirt sandwich to me.

Now you are available to a really nice guy who will be truly worth of you.

I'm with the others Gina, you need to let this one go. You deserve a whole lot better than this guy. You're a vivacious, beautiful, intelligent woman and you deserve so much more, especially a lot more than the 'back up' girl for him. Chin up hun, you can and will find a man who truly deserves you

I have but one request when this is all over with that guy....please give you some time to love and appreciate your curves before entering in a relationship with another guy and telling yourself thats all you can get because you are plus sized.

I know what everyone is saying is true, and I really appriciate the kind words. Its just the sting right now thats making it difficult for me to deal with it. Plus the fact that he didnt straight out dump but basically told me hes thinking about dumping me which basically leaves me in limbo.

I know I shouldnt waste tears on someone who doesnt so much as care about me, but how do you tell your heart to stop hurting? I'm positive I will look back on this and laugh and think how much better off i am, just not right now.

Time heals the heart... look after yourself in the meantime, do nice things for yourself and you always have MUT for a nice distraction

Originally Posted by HairEgo /img/forum/go_quote.gif Plus the fact that he didnt straight out dump but basically told me hes thinking about dumping me which basically leaves me in limbo. ^^That's enough right there for me to call his ass and say 'you know what? this is not a loan application this is a relationship...lets call it a wash and end it now...there's nothing to think about'