Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
makeupchick

need help on essay!!!

Recommended Posts

this is my draft that my prof graded on. i want to know how i can change it to make it better for my final draft. like what should i take out except the examples and what i should change or add etc. she graded my rough draft a 70. thanks for the help everyone! btw the words are in blue are what my prof. changed and comments.

 

A Response to " The Pleasures of Learning" by Highet, Gilbert ( class English 101 handout)

I have to agree with Gilbert Highet (1906-1978) after reading "The Pleasures of Learning" that if someone avoids learning or even abandon it, their life will be boring and uneducated. When someone has a goal , they will feel the pleasure from the process of learning it or the satisfaction after achieving it. I learn because is it enjoyable, fulfilling and it also expand our

knowledge which are important in my life. For example, I am here at **** College because I have a goal, and my goal is to graduate from college and become a Dental Hygienist and nobody can control how much education i can get but me.

 

Highet pointed out that learning should be fun and pleasurable, and I find his view on human activates convincing, but there are some people that don't know how to enjoy learning. He wrote, "At the end of each successful investigation, there comes over each tiny face an expression of pure heartfelt pleasure (2nd paragraph, last sentence) it's ok, there's no need to be this specific here .This specific example clarified Highet's view by saying we learn because we have a goal to achieve and after achieving it we will get pleasure , joy, and satisfaction that we yearned for. However, there are people that don't enjoy learning or even open up their mind to expand their knowledge. There can be many factors to why some people don't want to learn, for example, they can be stubborn, ignorant, or shortsighted. It is true that certain subjects in school is hard<> or boring, but we have to study how to study and find pleasure out of studying in order to expand our knowledge and knowledge means power and wealth. We might not use what we learn in school now but we will in the future. As I was in my English class one day and my Professor told us that when she was watching her niece watch Barbie, Barbie said, "Math is hard lets go shopping instead". After I heard that phrase Barbie said, I immediately rolled my eyes because if an adult thinks that way then they are shortsighted and lazy. I'm not sure how this example fits in with the rest of your essay. If there is something that we encounter in life and we don't know how it works, we should do everything in our own power to find out how it works and access that information because as an adult there is no excuse for being ignorant. We can't walk around saying we don't know certain things that we're suppose to know as an adult. Here's another example, a guy did something against the law and went to go to court and told the judge, "Oh I didn't know that was against the law". What is the judge going to tell him? The judge will just tell him he should know! This is how I was taught since I was young.

 

I lived a hard life when I was in China; therefore, I enjoy learning a lot especially in America because I want to be successful, and I believe those who aren't willing to learn will never become successful. I think if someone dares to dream big and is committed in achieving their goal they will become rich , and it is true that poor people matures at a younger age and have more willpower . Before I came to the America, I lived in China until I was 10 years old. My family was so poor when I was young that I only have 2 sets of clothes to wear to school, so the school offered to give me some for free because in China good hygiene and manners are very important in school. Besides the clothes, I didn't even have money to buy pens. All I can effort back then was one pencil, and I have to use that one pencil until it is one inch long then my parents would let me buy another one. I had a good chance to change my life when I found out that my family and I are going to America. After living in New York and worked in a dental office for 12 years as a dental assistant to a receptionist then to a supervisor, I knew I wanted to become a Dental Hygienist. As I mentioned, knowledge gives us power and wealth but its not easy and I still have a long way to go before I can become a successful Hygienist. As Highet said, "Man has the capacity to attain it; but to achieve it depends on his own effects. It needs a long, deliberate effort of the mind and emotions, and even body" (16th paragraph, last sentence). I am currently taking 16 credits this semester in college right now so I know I am one step closer to achieving my goal. By passing my classes each semester I know that I am another step closer to my goal and that is what keeps me going.

 

The process of learning when you are a child is to become an adult, and as an adult we learn in order to expand our knowledge, achieve our goal, and to keep our lives active and lively. If a person abandons learning they will never become an adult as Highet mentioned, " Learning extends our lives (as Ptolemy said) into new dimensions. It iscumulative" (13th paragraph, first sentence).

this is good, but the #1 problem you have is it's almost twice the required length. Teachers ask for a certain number of words for a reason, and most of the time we don't get too upset if you're 10% over (or under), but more than that and you're playing with fire. See what you can cut out right away (the Barbie story and the law breaker story can definitely go right away--focus on yourself). With proper editing, this could definitely be in the B range quite easily.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you just look at what your prof. wrote you should be able to change it for the better. MUT isn't here for helping you with homework, that's something you have to do yourself! smile.gif plus posting assignments like this on the internet can lead to plagarism. just let me know if you want me to delete this for you. sorry but we can't really help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I had any kind of problems with writing tasks, I usually used services like paperap . Quite a handy solution I'd say. Not a cheap one, if you are a poor student but the service worth the money I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • NARS Cosmetics Shop Cargo Cosmetics Today!


  • Posts

    • Gestern haben viele von uns jemanden eingerichtet, der einen ersten Blick auf Karl Lagerfeld und The Puma Company Suede Collab werfen kann. Zufällig handelt es sich bei dieser Zusammenarbeit um eine vollständige Ergänzungsserie, die zusätzlich die entsprechende Kleidung enthält. Ehemals gebeten, eine neue KARL LAGERFELD-Zeit in den Wildleder-Grundschuhen zu entwickeln, um die Hauswärme zusammenzubringen, entwickelte sich Ihre Allianz schnell zu Ihrem Entwurf einer umfassenden 13-teiligen Beilage. Das Ergebnis ist oft eine elegante, modische Mischung aus KARL LAGERFELDs Design und Stil sowie PUMAs sportlichen Klassikern der Blockmode. In Ihrer KARL LAGERFELD A THE PUMA COMPANY-Serie finden Sie ein Paar Wildledertennisschuhe, die von KARL LAGERFELDs legendärem Signature Bank Artistic unterstützt werden - einen neuen Smokingmantel, einen kräftigen, hellen Empfängerhalsband und eine Sonnenbrille. Ihre Sneakers-Mischung Karl 's erstaunliche Suche unter Verwendung der modernen Streetwear-Mode und haben manchmal ein scherzhaftes KARL-Kunstwerk sowie vollständig entfernbare Sonnenbrillendetails. Das Tragen Ihrer Frauen umfasst einen von einem Smoking inspirierten Puma Roma TriEmboss-Schuh, einen T7-Trainingsmantel mit entsprechenden Hosen und einen T7-Jumpsuit. Die beiden haben in PUMAs legendärem Trainingsmantel mit 7-mm-Wimpern, einem neuen Course Prime und einem Kurzmantel im Allgemeinen Klasse 1. T-Shirt Ihre To-Locate-Serie enthält einen schmal geschnittenen Hoodie und die dazugehörigen Sweating Slacks, einschließlich eines Firmenlogos 1. T-Shirt. Mit der Büchertasche, einer neuen Nackenhandtasche und einer Fußballhut-Präsentation können Ihre Kleidungsvarianten noch mehr zusammengestellt werden Maßgeschneiderter Druck von KARL LAGERFELD A THE PUMA COMPANY. Ihre KARL LAGERFELD A THE PUMA COMPANY-Serie ist für den Vorverkauf in KARL vorgesehen. COM zusammen mit der Firma Puma. com im April achtzehnten, zusammen mit der ganzen Welt im April zwanzig, in KARL LAGERFELD zusammen mit den Einzelhändlern der PUMA COMPANY, online in KARL. COM zusammen mit der Firma Puma. com, zusammen mit Puma Footwears durch kuratierte Läden zusammen mit Strategiehändlern. Schnell! Wenn Sie sich im Moment in Brooklyn Adidas Superstar schuhen verkauf befinden, um dies zu unterstützen, sollten Sie eines Tages THE PUMA COMPANY, ein Popup für den Chinatown-Marktplatz, untersuchen, wo immer Sie das Minimalformat-Unternehmen von THE PUMA COMPANY, einem Chinatown-Markt, sehen können DAS PUMA-UNTERNEHMEN HQ. Ihr THE PUMA COMPANY ist ein Pop-Up auf dem Chinatown-Marktplatz und Ihr THE PUMA COMPANY-Hauptsitz befindet sich in der 162 Flatbush Ave. über 11 bis 19 Uhr. Insgesamt werden 73 Komponenten jeder einzelnen Mode in Preisklassen von 40 bis 80 US-Dollar erhältlich sein. Wie bereits erwähnt, erhalten Sie auf jeden Fall einen schnellen Überblick darüber, was auf der Welt verfügbar ist. Alles kann blöd sein, trotzdem erlebe ich gerade aufrichtig Ihre Tragetasche und das erste T-Stück, das Ihren Puma-Unternehmensinhalt präsentiert, indem Sie Ihren Puma Suede Platform-Schuhfußball in den Kinderfinger drehen. Entdecken Sie alles, was Sie sonst noch mögen?
    • I have 7 palettes . I used to have 13 but they all were miniature palettes with shades similar to my big palettes so I got rid of them .  I currently have .... Motives Cosmetics  1. Demure Palette 2. Iconic Palette Makeup Revolution  1. Flawless Mattes 2 2. Chocolate Elixer Tarte  1. Tartlette Toasted Too Faced  1. Chocolate Bonbon  Morphe 1. Morphe 35 V
    • Whether you’re a college girl who will be waking up for an 8am class and going out at night, or a super mom who will be juggling work, taking her kids to school, making dinner, and soccer games, makeup that lasts all day is extremely beneficial! Who wants to worry about reapplying five times a day? If you follow these tips, you can put on your makeup in the morning and not have to worry about those annoying touch ups! Start With a Clean Face Applying makeup to a fresh face is the best way to make it last. Make sure you remove your makeup at night and then wash your face in the morning before putting on your makeup. It’s also a great idea to use a good moisturizer, such as our Citrus Stem Cell Intense Moisture Lock Creme. It helps improve skin’s complexion, elasticity, and texture, and also smooths wrinkles. Use a Primer – On Your Face and Your Lids Makeup primer makes the perfect base because it helps minimize pores, erase imperfections, and makes your makeup look better and last longer. Make sure aside from using a basic primer that you use an eye primer as well. It’s a must if you are wearing eyeshadow or liner so that it looks as clean and crisp at night as it did when you first put it on! Choose Oil-Free, Long Lasting Products The products you choose make a huge difference. Products that aren’t oil-free may not last as long because the oils will eventually make them fade. Go ahead and spend that extra $2 for the foundation that says “long lasting.” It’s worth it! Don’t Forget Pressed Powder and Setting Spray  Once your look is complete, finish your look with a pressed finishing powder and setting spray! These products are designed to keep your makeup in place and also help remove any excess oil. Keep Your Hands Away From the Finished Product Try not to touch your face throughout the day! Not only can touching your face lead to breakouts, but the oils on your skin will remove your makeup.
    • Hey, if you didn't back up your data, according to my experience and your information, I would like to suggest you use Android Data Recovery from Uneraser to assist you to recuperate your deleted photo recovery, which is very useful and practical. Hoping it will work for you and you could retrieve deleted photos from phone successfully.
    • When I buy or sell something online, I am always afraid to mess up something. I mean, that I'll fill in the wrong zip code and the package will be lost. That's why I use WorldPostalCode zip code finder all the time.

About MakeupTalk®

© 2003-2018 MakeupTalk.com®, an active online community and message board geared towards members wanting to discuss everything to do with makeup, cosmetics, product reviews, monthly subscription boxes and general beauty related topics. Our community provides product reviews, makeup and general beauty tips. Our most popular topics are subscription boxes and their monthly spoilers. Join our community for free to take part in the conversations and share your own beauty tips and product reviews with others. We look forward to seeing you online here at Makeuptalk®!

MakeupTalk® Facebook

×