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<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=boxed vAlign=center>50 Things to do in an Elevator
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
[*]Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
[*]Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
[*]Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
[*]Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
[*]Sell Girl Scout cookies.
[*]On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
[*]Shave.
[*]Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
[*]Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
[*]Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
[*]When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
[*]Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
[*]Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
[*]Censored by your son.
[*]On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
[*]Do Tai Chi exercises.
[*]Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
[*]When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
[*]Give religious tracts to each passenger.
[*]Meow occassionally.
[*]Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
[*]Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
[*]Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
[*]Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
[*]Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
[*]Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
[*]Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
[*]Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
[*]Leave a box between the doors.
[*]Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
[*]Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
[*]Start a sing-along.
[*]When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
[*]Play the harmonica.
[*]Shadow box.
[*]Say Ding! at each floor.
[*]Lean against the button panel.
[*]Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
[*]Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
[*]Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
[*]Bring a chair along.
[*]Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
[*]Blow spit bubbles.
[*]Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
[*]Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
[*]Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
[*]Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
[*]Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
[*]Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
[*]If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
[*]Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
[*]Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
[*]Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
[*]Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
[*]Sell Girl Scout cookies.
[*]On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
[*]Shave.
[*]Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
[*]Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
[*]Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
[*]When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
[*]Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
[*]Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
[*]Censored by your son.
[*]On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
[*]Do Tai Chi exercises.
[*]Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
[*]When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
[*]Give religious tracts to each passenger.
[*]Meow occassionally.
[*]Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
[*]Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
[*]Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
[*]Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
[*]Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
[*]Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
[*]Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
[*]Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
[*]Leave a box between the doors.
[*]Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
[*]Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
[*]Start a sing-along.
[*]When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
[*]Play the harmonica.
[*]Shadow box.
[*]Say Ding! at each floor.
[*]Lean against the button panel.
[*]Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
[*]Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
[*]Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
[*]Bring a chair along.
[*]Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
[*]Blow spit bubbles.
[*]Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
[*]Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
[*]Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
[*]Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
[*]Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
[*]Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
[*]If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch
