Age Gap Relationships: What Do You Think?

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My best friend Kevin, 28 was dating a 46 year old lady! I couldn't stand it because he told me he first met her, dated, and had a sexual relationship with her at 16 years old, this means she was 34. I found something very wrong with that, she is a female pedophile.

I would tell him that I knew she wanted kids and she couldn't provide that, nor go out with any of his friends so what was the point. I hope this doesn't make me a B****, but they finally broke up when she had lied and said she was pregnant with his kid. He actually belived her and started to prepare until he noticed her belly wasn't swelling, nor was she going to dr appointments. One day I was over his house and he was upstairs and me and his sister (who also hates her) were downstairs when his phone rang and it was her! I answered the phone and said I was his girlfriend of the past 6 months and said she needed to stop calling. This lady blew up and said I was lying and his siter got on the phone and said that she was an old manipulative lady, etc. SHE CAME OVER within half an hour! His sister told her to leave, but she didn't so they started fighting. Kev never talked to her fake pregnant self again and that was what we wanted.

 
I'm 28 and my fiance is 45.....you would never know it, he doesn't look his age or act his age lol. I love him and its certainly not for his money......we live in a 2 bedroom apartment! We acually met online, started out as friends, the last thing on either of our minds was a relationshiop beyond online friends. We acually didn't even chat about age... and the first time I seen him I honestly thought he was younger than me lol. We connected to each other. Our relationship started by getting to know one another, not physical attraction.....thank god when I seen him he was hot! I'm not sure I would advise anyone to start a relationship online or even an older somebody.....but it worked for me. I would say when love is right it finds you....you don't find love. Its seems what they say is true......love knows no boundries! That aside I think its a creepy if the other half of the relationship is still in there young teens.

 
I'm 27 and am with a guy who is almost 51. We've been together for nearly 2 years and I can honestly say that this is the best relationship I have ever been in. He is way more caring and attentive than any guy my own age that I have ever been with, and actually wants to make me happy instead of thinking only about himself.

We have a better, and healthier, sex life than I've had with anyone else, and we have loads of things in common. He does not act like a 'stereotypical' fiftysomething; in fact, he actually had to ask me to explain this, and he then said he would 'rather slit his own throat than succumb to such a boring lifestyle'.

He does not act his age at all, and has the mental outlook, attitude, personality etc. of someone my own age or maybe even younger. He is very exciting, fun to be with, and likes to cause mischief and have fun. Sometimes, I actually find myself kind of 'forgetting' how old he is, because it's only in his greying hair and the lines on his face that he is the age he is, if that makes sense.

I am not a gold digger either. He is not absolutely loaded. He is generous, and buys me things, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable with this because I have very little money of my own and wish that I could treat him to nice things, as I would very much love to.

He is rich...rich in caring, understanding, patience, respect, and fun. And this is why I love him.

 
Originally Posted by heartofdarkness /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm 27 and am with a guy who is almost 51. We've been together for nearly 2 years and I can honestly say that this is the best relationship I have ever been in. He is way more caring and attentive than any guy my own age that I have ever been with, and actually wants to make me happy instead of thinking only about himself.
We have a better, and healthier, sex life than I've had with anyone else, and we have loads of things in common. He does not act like a 'stereotypical' fiftysomething; in fact, he actually had to ask me to explain this, and he then said he would 'rather slit his own throat than succumb to such a boring lifestyle'.

He does not act his age at all, and has the mental outlook, attitude, personality etc. of someone my own age or maybe even younger. He is very exciting, fun to be with, and likes to cause mischief and have fun. Sometimes, I actually find myself kind of 'forgetting' how old he is, because it's only in his greying hair and the lines on his face that he is the age he is, if that makes sense.

I am not a gold digger either. He is not absolutely loaded. He is generous, and buys me things, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable with this because I have very little money of my own and wish that I could treat him to nice things, as I would very much love to.

He is rich...rich in caring, understanding, patience, respect, and fun. And this is why I love him.

Very well put
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I agree with u, same as my relationship! I have never been in a better relationship in my life!
 
Can someone please clear something up for me?

I am reading a lot of he doesn't act his age remarks, and I gotta ask if that really is what you mean. It's a good thing to some people when a man reaches his fifties and still behaves like a man in his early twenties? What about growth and maturity? Or is what you're really saying is he hasn't lost his zest for life (which I understand, and hope my husband and I never lose)?

 
Originally Posted by internetchick /img/forum/go_quote.gif Or is what you're really saying is he hasn't lost his zest for life? This, sorry for any confusion caused
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Originally Posted by magneticheart /img/forum/go_quote.gif Also as far as maturity goes it must be difficult for a 40 year old woman to date a 20 year old guy. I would say a 40 year old woman going for a 20 year old guy isn't going for maturity. Nor 40 year old women going for 20 year old woman for that matter.
Not to say there aren't mature 20 year olds. I think it's easy to forget how individual people are, no matter what the age. I think the two people actually in the relationship are the best judges of whether or not it's a good fit, regardless of having outsiders (such as ourselves) rain judgement upon them.

 
Originally Posted by heartofdarkness /img/forum/go_quote.gif This, sorry for any confusion caused
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That's what I figured lol.
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Okay
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Oddly enough, men my own age seem to pale in comparison all of a sudden. Maybe it's because those who I am/have been mates with, do seem to be pretty immature, I don't know...and I'm finding also that some guys I know who are 5+ years younger than me, tend to be way too serious and have no concept of having fun. Not sure why though
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My boyfriend is 33 and I'm 20. We met when I was 19 and he was 32. But when I'm with him, I forget there is any age difference at all. I didn't exactly mean to fall in love with him at first, but I did. And there became a point where I stopped denying it. We both love each other no matter what and I'd do anything for that man
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oh and we're both dirt poor so it wasn't because of money haha.

 
My fiance is 6 years older than me, 7 when he has his birthday in April and I have mine in July. lol I tease him about that, haha, for 3 months, you're 7 years older than me! And I also pick on him about robbing the cradle.

But, he's 41 and I'm 35 and we couldn't be more suited for each other. The funny thing is we totally met by accident. I messaged him on the website we met on and said, "I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner." when he never actually messaged me in the first place.

It's not about money whatsoever. I'm the one that makes more money, he is on disability with multiple sclerosis.

We have been together a year and 3 months and are getting married on October 15th. Couldn't be happier.

 
There's a lot of reasons for age gap relationships. If they're for the right reasons (like love and happiness), then I think it's very sweet. But I've seen age gap relationships happen for all the wrong reasons, and those bother me. I've seen men in their 20s chase 13/14-year-old girls because they're so much more naive than girls his age and easier to get in bed (well, in theory). Things like that are kinda sick. If all relationships were based off of love and the desire for happiness, I wouldn't have a problem with them. But when it's about sex, money, or otherwise taking advantage of someone, that's when there's a problem.

The bottom line is that to me, it depends on the situation.

 
I dont think there is any thing wong with an age gap.My bf is 14 years older than me im 21 hes 35.Iv never meet a man that i had so much in comman with.He is the love of my life I couldnt askl for any one better.I think it depends on the people iv meet men that were in the 40s and had a maturaty level of a 20 year old.

 
What kind of challenges did your mother face. Aside from dealing with what people thought?

 
I will only date someone no more then 5 years older then me, and I don't think I'd ever date anyone younger

 
My current boyfriend is 8 years older than me.  I've dated up to 11 years older and 8 years younger.  It all depends so much on the people involved, the maturity level, and the stages of life that each person is in.  I've had great experiences on both ends of the spectrum. 

 
First husband was 4 yrs younger than me. Second husband was same age. Boyfriend is 9 yrs, 2 months, 1 day younger than me

 
My bf and I are 10 years apart, I am older. We were friends for a time beforehand and we were just drawn to each other. We've been together for almost 3 years. I hate it when people make so much out of a number. It's about so much more than that. 
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My sister only dates men 10+ years older than herself because she genuinely believes guys her age are immature and not established enough (she is a 27 year old successful business owner btw). My husband and I are only 2 weeks apart so we celebrate our birthdays together :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

 
I'm really interested and kinda pleased to see that a few other ladies here have similar age gaps to me & my partner. We met when I was 16 and he was 29 and now I am 19 and he is 32. I do think that we met when I was very young and it has been difficult at times because of the differences in life experience, but what started as a fun and exciting romance has turned into a loving and lasting relationship. I can tell that he deeply cares about me, and I love him too. We share some interests, live together well, and share dreams for the future. And when it comes down to it, what more can you really ask for in a relationship? Ultimately, age is just a number. 

However having just said that I do find it a bit creepy when age gaps are 20+ years - a whole generation is too much in my personal opinion but I would not judge a couple based on that.

 

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