Am I being a selfish brat?

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Yesterday was my birthday. My husband had planned a little get together at Chilis for my birthday. He planned it last week. The weather ended up getting kind of yucky yesterday and the roads were a little slick. We did not have a major snow fall or anything, but it was extremely cold and wet. My husband's family ended up not wanting to come, because of the weather. My husband probably should have rescheduled it for a different day, but my best friend and her fiance were still going to come. My parents and sister, my friend and her fiance, and Daniel still ended up going. I guess I was a little offended, because I make every effort to be at every one else's birthday parties and celebrations. It seems like the one day that is supposed to be special for me seems to get ruined. I know it wasn't his family's intention, but it still bothered me. They were all out running around earlier in the day, but couldn't show up that night for my birthday? Then they were able to go out this morning and all that. I cannot control the weather and what it is going to do. I am trying to just get over it and not be upset about it. It is not something I want to be bitter about the rest of my life and there will be many other birthdays. Part of my issue I guess is that every year my birthday always gets overshadowed by Christmas. His family suggested we have a little get together to make up for it and I am fine with it, but it won't be the same. It seems like I don't get just one special day, because of all the craziness with Christmas. I don't want to be a selfish brat about it, but if they ask should I say that I was hurt and offended? I want to be mature about it and just let it go. I hate feeling this way, because I really like his family. But, I have my feelings on my shoulders about it and find it hard to just be fake and pretend like everything is okay.

 
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I don't think you're selfish for feeling like you deserve one day to celebrate, for yourself, not for Christmas. I'd probably mention it to them if you feel like you'd be suppressing your feelings otherwise, or if you think you might resent them for not showing up. Maybe something casual like, "I really missed you the other day at my party, because your presence means a lot to me". I dunno, I would probably say something if it really bugged me. I don't think anyone could consider you selfish for that at all. I mean, they're your family and they should be there.

 
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Oh heck no, you were not being selfish at all. After all it was your birthday, it was just cold outside, that's not a big deal at all

 
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No I don't think you're being selfish. Everyone deserves their special day.

I do think you should say something, in a nice way to let them know that you were disappointed that they couldn't follow through on the original plans but that you appreciate the other plans they're making for you. It's just not a good idea to hold back and let it go if this was pretty important to you. They might not have any idea and you'll be feeling bad about it and might just snap and regret that later on.

 
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I dont think it was selfish of you. My birthday is christmas eve and i have honestly never really celebrated it with everyone. Most people wont come out because its too cold, the weather is too bad, there's a christmas movie on they want to watch (seriously!!)...i always end up getting mad and usually crying or shouting "ok well next year i'll be born on a different day that suits the rest of you!!!" lol.

i think you should ask your husband to explain to them that it was just as cold for the rest of you as it was for them and you would've liked them to make the effort to be there so that they'll know for next year. and hopefully you can all go out together for the rescheduled event to make up for it x

 
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I will say that the roads were kind of bad (icy in areas), but we still drove 30 minutes to get there. I will probably say something. His mom and I have a pretty good relationship with each other and we are able to be honest for the most part. I think this is just a test of what is to come. I know there will be many more times that I will be let down and disappointed by them. I want to keep that communication open, and I know that holding it in will just make things worse. I think it will cause resentment on my part if I dont speak up. I am not one to hold grudges, but I am afraid this will eat me up. I don't want it to make Christmas seem bad and like I said before I don't want to put on some fake show for everyone. I think part of that will have to be an attitude adjustment on my part..

And Jakk-Attack.. I totally understand what you are saying! I have had all of that happen as well. This is not the 1st time that people have decided to not show up for my b-day.. We can't help what day we were born!

 
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Welcome to my world! My husband and I ,and both of our sons are "Christmas Babies" Our sons were born Dec 14th and 20th.My husband and I Jan 1st and 5th.We make sure to celebrate it all separate.By Valentines Day,we are flat busted!

 
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i dont think you're selfish either - you do deserve your special day and I would also be upset if that happened to me. I think, as the other girls said, you should let them know in a nice way that you were disappointed they didn't come and leave it at that. Seriously though, it IS disappointing!

 
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I agree with these ladies. I don't think you are acting/being selfish at all and you should address that it offended you. Especially since they were out and about earlier...That doesn't make sense.

 
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it's your special day, you have every right to feel whatever you want to feel on that day. i mean, if they really want to go they'd make a way somehow. but cheer up, maybe next year the weather wouldn't be so bad.

 
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Originally Posted by jakk-attakk /img/forum/go_quote.gif I dont think it was selfish of you. My birthday is christmas eve and i have honestly never really celebrated it with everyone. Most people wont come out because its too cold, the weather is too bad, there's a christmas movie on they want to watch (seriously!!)...i always end up getting mad and usually crying or shouting "ok well next year i'll be born on a different day that suits the rest of you!!!" lol.
i think you should ask your husband to explain to them that it was just as cold for the rest of you as it was for them and you would've liked them to make the effort to be there so that they'll know for next year. and hopefully you can all go out together for the rescheduled event to make up for it x

YOur post made me feel better! My birthday is on Xmas, and I NEVER get to celebrate it.I know the time is rough, but you can't help but feel bad that no one can make it. The same crap happens to me too. You kinda feel bad because you go out and celebrate everyone elses bdays.........I didn't even have a 21st!!! My bf is trying to make my bday special though. He knows how sad I get.

KimC-You are not being selfish at all!!!!!It's your special day!!! Happy birthday girls!!!!

 
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I dont think its selfish, however if I were asked I would just say its fine. They are trying to make an effort to celebrate your birthday.

 
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Well all the Dec and Jan babies can have a party on here and everyone is invited.


 
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aww don't feel like you're being selfish
that's completly normal to want a day to be about you. i have a lot of friends whose birthdays are within a few days of christmas, and they all get bummed about it too.

 
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Originally Posted by justdragmedown /img/forum/go_quote.gif I dont think its selfish, however if I were asked I would just say its fine. They are trying to make an effort to celebrate your birthday.
 
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Dont worry about it. My moms bday is on new years day and people always forget. I mean she says she doesnt care but I always make her something. So i can see why you get upset.

 

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