There really arent any rules for makeup colors regarding hair color. Just go for the "No Rules" rule....thats what I do no matter what color my hair happens to be.
I'm a redhead and find warm colors to be more flattering than cool ones. For example, brown e/s instead of gray and brown/peach/salmon pink lipstick instead of rose/berry/purple shades. The best thing to do is experiment until you find something you really like.
thanks everyone. I found some auburn/blondish eyebrow color I like. I also tried some brown eyeshadow/beige and I like it. I did find some light pinkish eyeshadow that I think isnt too dramatic also.