How to drop a hint to my boyfriend that he should propose?

[coffeeformom]

Let him know how much you love him and tell him you want to marry him one day!

 

[Kristine Walker]

 When a man is ready he will propose Look at George Clooney. All those women who stuck it out 5-7 years. Now Boom! He's engaged.. Why would you want somebody who had to be hinted into it? Don't worry about men, worry about your education and enjoying your freedom!

  When you find the right one you will want your parents to know him and he will want his family to know you. Frankly, that's a big old red flag to me right there. Don't push him, don't move in with him (if he wants the right to live with you then he can dang well man-up and put a ring on it) and never give an ultimatum that you can't keep.

 

[biancardi]

Y'all have definitely been together a long time, no doubt, but you also seem young (hopefully this isn't creepy i just noticed your profile said you're a freshman in college). My unsolicited advice, even if you got engaged within the next year or so would be to wait a few more years to get married. I hated hearing that when I was in undergrad. But my boyfriend and I dated pretty much all through undergrad + this first year of law school I am about to finish before he propsed. Looking back on the last three years,  and everything we went through, we have both changed A LOT (in good ways). Basically my point is everyone goes through changes/growing up in undergrad, some for better and some for worse. And right now it seems like you need to work on communication with him and your parents before marriage comes.

I totally agree.  You can be engaged, but have a long engagement.   Wait until you are 26-27 to get married. 

I live in a state where the divorce rates are the lowest in the country and it is because people wait until their mid to late 20's to get married.  They finish college, they get a job, they concentrate on themselves for a bit and then they get married.    You need to focus on yourself and understand who you are at 19 may not be who you are at 26. 

 

[autopilot]

I know couples who dated for 10 years before they got married.

Me. We were living together for that long also. I just turned 34, DH will be 35 next month, and our 1st wedding anniversary is in September though we have been a couple since Jan '03. (No human kids.)

Why the delay? Life kept greeting in the way. We were already legally common-law so essentially the marriage became more symbolic than anything. I even had countless people ask me why I wanted to get married, as if being common-law for so long indicates a lack of interest in the institution of marriage or something...

Longer post than I intended, lol, but my point is that every couple and situation is different. And that the older you get, you realize the less you know, so don't rush through those life experiences. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 

[sparklesgirlxox]

I don't drop hints about anything  . I tell someone outright what I want and need. Ask him if he intends to marry you. Ask him is so when. Ask him how he honestly feels about you. Are you afraid of his answer?

 

[Lois F. Loy]

It's not like he doesn't want to propose and I'm forcing him to, but he has said many times that he would "engage me", as he calls it, in a heartbeat but he knows I keep our relationship pretty personal and that I would try to keep it a secret from my parents. I guess it hurts his feelings that I wouldn't just come out and tell them. I also don't say I love you to him in front of my parents. I'm just not a very openly affectionate person toward anyone except him, and I think it hurts his feelings. So how can I drop the hint that I WANT him to propose to me?

We have been dating for 5 years, by the way, if that matters. So it isn't like we are going into it too fast or it scares him or anything.

Thanks in advance, and God bless you! ( :

I really think that it is completely his own choice if or when he wants to propose to marry you. 

Maybe you could propose to him? No? Better wait for him then. 

 

[Meggpi]

I thought it was funny to browse sites talking about ethical diamonds or ethical diamond substitutes on my partner's computer so that he gets a bunch of googleads from Brilliant Earth and whatnot /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  It's in good fun though, we'll get engaged eventually.  I've been married before (at 24, it lasted a year and taught me a whole lot of home truths) and I have to say, being in a happy and stable relationship has actually put LESS pressure on us to take the 'next step.' It's been 4 years and we do have our lives very much entwined.  Having a ring on your finger isn't a magic amulet that makes you more committed.  I'm 31 and there are still goals I'd like to meet before we focus on that, and I'm sure there is for someone younger too.  Have fun being young and enjoying each other.

 

[sparklesgirlxox]

It's not like he doesn't want to propose and I'm forcing him to, but he has said many times that he would "engage me", as he calls it, in a heartbeat but he knows I keep our relationship pretty personal and that I would try to keep it a secret from my parents. I guess it hurts his feelings that I wouldn't just come out and tell them. I also don't say I love you to him in front of my parents. I'm just not a very openly affectionate person toward anyone except him, and I think it hurts his feelings. So how can I drop the hint that I WANT him to propose to me?

We have been dating for 5 years, by the way, if that matters. So it isn't like we are going into it too fast or it scares him or anything.

Thanks in advance, and God bless you! ( :

 He doesn't want to propose to you. He is not sure he wants to  marry you.   You don't need to drop hints to anyone they usually can tell you want to marry them.   I don't think he feels the same way.  You need to find out why.

 

[Lois F. Loy]

Why not propose to him? Unconventional but in this day and age. But what if he says "No"? What if you say no to him? You both are under the same pressure in asking, so why not?

 

[Sarah Nails]

Summer, i think i have a simple solution to that. :wub: He is just waiting for a sign from you. He is definitely ready to take it to the next level by probing into how you show affection. Its fine if you don't give him public affections, if he is ok with it. You don't have to display your affection in front of everyone, but just in front of people that matter, which are your parents and close friends. If you start treating him a little bit more that "boyfriend" in front of them, he would gain the confidence to propose because he would be sure you are now on the same page. :drive:

 

[Amurphy]

Pretent to watch some wedding dresses or rings sometimes...

 

[Barbie2]

I dont think you should have to drop hints chances are every guy already knows women want kids and they want to get married its a no brainer men are not that dumb.He is probably not ready to get married and thats why he has not proposed.You cant really force the issue I mean I know girls who have and basically the only reason their bf probably proposed is because they kinda made / forced them to do so in the first place because they kept bringing it up / talking about it .If a mans not asking you then either wait or find a new man either way marriage is something you shouldnt try to make any man do if he wants to marry you he will ask when he is ready.

 

[Brooke Shores]

Omg 5 years.  Well I think you're allowed to be blunt at that point.  I'm pretty blunt in the beginning now*shrug* ...I think it works best that way.  Otherwise, they would wait 10 yrs if they could!  Just my opinion. :wub:   

 

[OiiO]

Yes, one year is nothing. I think when I was younger I wanted to get married young, and was swept away by the romanticism of it. But I'm 25 now, I'll be dating my boyfriend for 5 years as of September this year, and we've definitely committed to each other, but even after 5 years we're not ready for marriage. We don't have the finances to do so, and I think we still think of ourselves as too young. We've lived together and we can tell we'd be a good team when we do eventually get married, but we're just not in a rush to do so. I know couples who dated for 10 years before they got married.

My husband and I dated for 7 years before we got married, and 5 of those were long distance. We definitely felt like we were too young and needed to at least finish college first. Neither of us wanted to be dependent on our parents or take any loans that would be difficult to pay off, so we waited until we could be more stable financially /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

 

[Brooke Shores]

I'm nontraditional and blunt in relationships.  I can't imagine being surprised by a bf's proposal.  

Your friends can help with pushing your boyfriend's cold feet.  You can mention the average length people wait to marry, the benefits, slowly begin adding wedding culture to your conversation and descriptions, maybe pictures of white dresses.  Haahha.  Sneaky!

 

[Barbie2]

I'm nontraditional and blunt in relationships.  I can't imagine being surprised by a bf's proposal.  

Your friends can help with pushing your boyfriend's cold feet.  You can mention the average length people wait to marry, the benefits, slowly begin adding wedding culture to your conversation and descriptions, maybe pictures of white dresses.  Haahha.  Sneaky!

But the key word you used is " push " you shouldnt have to push anyone into a big decision like marriage.Relationships just dont work that way you have to compromise and be patient  and wait for things unfortunately things dont always go your way you dont always get what you want when you want it.Its not always about you when your in a relationship you have to think about the other person and what they need as well.Giving him an ultimatum or having his friends say something to him is going to make him uncomfortable about the situation.Try and look at it from the other persons perspective.

Most people do things the wrong way though they should wait longer to get married its a very big decision and thats why most marriages end in divorce.People dont take it seriously or take into account the relationship they have with the other person if thats a good enough person to be married to for the rest of your life, then children and you need money and you both need two decent incomes coming in and a college education.Without thinking it through your setting yourself up for failure.

 

[Barbie2]

My husband and I dated for 7 years before we got married, and 5 of those were long distance. We definitely felt like we were too young and needed to at least finish college first. Neither of us wanted to be dependent on our parents or take any loans that would be difficult to pay off, so we waited until we could be more stable financially /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Long distance most people dont consider that being in a" real relationship" because you dont see the person on a daily basis or even a weekly or monthly basis you hardly ever see them and your forms of contact are texting or phone calls its not really the same as being in a relationship its more like online dating to me so in terms of relationship years you dont really know someone that well dating from a distance so I wouldnt even count that as part of the number of years personally.Actual dating is much more intimate I dont mean on a sexual level but in an intimate personal face to face level where you really get to know someone.

People should wait to finish college get a career and get financially stable before they ever get married.If you think your too young you shouldnt be walking down the aisle to begin with.But in terms of actual reality in relationships and in terms of marriage people dont ever really get financially stable things like having makeup or fashion blogs is great but its far from being financially stable in terms of finances its more of a hobby when it comes to owning a house , owning a car , having children , having bills all those things would require much more cash coming in.In general many people dont know the cost of living and the kind of income you really need to make it most people live pay check to paycheck to pay their bills they struggle.I just didnt want some young girl to read your post and think oh she could have a fashion or makeup blog and make a living off of it for the rest of her life as a career.Look at the cupcakes and cashmere girl or the blonde salad if you really look at those blogs those girls live off their bfs / husbands money in order to make it by financially they have a partner who provides for them.That and they have careers and use their blogs as a side income they know they need to work multiple jobs in order to make it by on their salary and they also know they need a man lol and I'am not saying their is anything wrong with women having the man as the sole provider for finances men do make more money to begin with.But I just think people need to really be realistic when it comes to finances , choosing a career and the cost of living in general.

 

[RachelElizabeth]

Long distance most people dont consider that being in a" real relationship" because you dont see the person on a daily basis or even a weekly or monthly basis you hardly ever see them and your forms of contact are texting or phone calls its not really the same as being in a relationship its more like online dating to me so in terms of relationship years you dont really know someone that well dating from a distance so I wouldnt even count that as part of the number of years personally.

My husband (married 3 1/2 years) travels about 75% of the time for work, sometimes away for weeks/months at a time. It doesn't make our relationship or marriage any less "real."  Should I subtract the time he's away when people ask how long we've been married?  That's absurd.

The bottom line is that each couple's reality is very different, and we shouldn't apply our own experiences to other people's relationships.  I know that not everyone would be comfortable with a spouse working like mine does, but it works for us and our relationship, if anything, has strengthened.  The same goes for relationship length - one couple might achieve a level of intimacy at 1 year that takes another couple 5.  Only two people can ever really know what's happening in a relationship and what works/what doesn't.

 

[Barbie2]

My husband (married 3 1/2 years) travels about 75% of the time for work, sometimes away for weeks/months at a time. It doesn't make our relationship or marriage any less "real."  Should I subtract the time he's away when people ask how long we've been married?  That's absurd.

The bottom line is that each couple's reality is very different, and we shouldn't apply our own experiences to other people's relationships.  I know that not everyone would be comfortable with a spouse working like mine does, but it works for us and our relationship, if anything, has strengthened.  The same goes for relationship length - one couple might achieve a level of intimacy at 1 year that takes another couple 5.  Only two people can ever really know what's happening in a relationship and what works/what doesn't.

Well when you married him my guess is you knew he wouldnt be around much am I right ? Its the same if your husbands a doctor you know he wont be spending too much time at home with you or your kids but again thats something a woman would know before marrying someone like that where the mans job is such where he wouldnt be at home that much.Things like that you would know before marrying the guy what type of job he has / career.Not many women would be okay with it but if you are do you.

I never said that I said if your in a long distance relationship their are aspects of your relationship where your not with the person that much meaning in order to really get to know someone on a very real level especially when dating you need to actually be present physically and see that person. I wouldnt consider any long distance relationship anything more than someone online dating especially if it goes on for long periods of time because the level of contact is very low and thats just how I see those people in long distance relationships because you could know someone for a year in long distance relationship and not really know them .Dating  would be so limited and  people get to know each other face to face talking on the phone is very different from being there with someone face to face.

I think everyone will struggle if they dont have their career and finances in check before marriage.My point was she needs to be realistic having a beauty blog will not pay the bills its gonna take two maybe even 3 incomes to live.I see it all the time when I was in college people would major in things like art or music and the reality is your gonna need to pay your bills and your gonna need a realistic stable job not necessarily a dream job.

 

[hellengeek]

are you serious ? i mean i dont think so that girls need to realize boys if she like him