I don't really know what advice i'm looking for

[macupjunkie]

I've been told many times by many people that I always look mad/upset because I don't smile. I always light up when I see friends and all, but when I'm just by myself or in a situation when I don't have to talk to anyone I just don't smile. I guess my face is one of those that doesn't look friendly when I don't smile. It's not that I don't want to smile or look friendlier but it's just my 'natural' face. I smile/laugh when there's something to be happy about. I don't really know what advice i'm looking for because many ppl just tell me to smile (obviously not with all the teeth) but how can I change this because i'm tired of ppl telling me i look mad. and it feels awkward to have a smile on my face when I'm walking alone and such.

 

[Manda]

I wouldn't let it bug you, if that's your face, that's your face.

 

[pinksugar]

I think it's something that some people need to 'learn'.

Until I worked at my job, I was really useless at those stupid passing comments people make, like how are you, interesting weather we're having, have you had a long day ETC, but because I have to make them all the time, I'm a lot better at them now.

I know it sounds silly but I'm serious. Maybe practise by looking in the mirror, and see if you can make your face look more neutral, rather than trying to smile all the time?

anyway, I agree with Manda, it is YOUR face, you smile if you want to, or not if you don't

 

[KellyB]

I could have written your post. When I was single I would go out with my also single cousin. She was a man magnet. She affectionately called my face the "f**k you buddy" look or as we later shortened it to the "FYB" look. I am a pretty happy person and can be very animated when there is something to be smiling about. I just don't go around smiling for the hell of it. When I see someone walking around like that I think they are stange not happy. I nod and say hello and smile at people that I see. I think I'm approachable but maybe I was more closed off back then.

I think the impression we give to the world around us is important but we don't all express ourselves the same. Some people are naturally bouncy and some are not. I'm not and evidently you aren't either. So what. Be your natural self and don't worry about it. One time I had a guy at school tell me "smile. Don't worry. be happy"..........I yelled at him that my dad had just died and to mind his own business (which was true). Maybe that stopped him from sharing his opinion again.

 

[puncturedskirt]

People use to say that about me too, That i always looked mad or something. Not so much anymore though since i was younger at the time.

 

[Maysie]

I don't think you should do anything just because other people are telling you to smile or that you look a certain way...but if it really bugs you and you want to appear more approachable then maybe you could try to smile slightly when you're around people and maybe it'll start to feel more natural. Also body language can make you appear friendly/unfriendly. Like if you have your arms crossed people will probably be less likely to come up to you.

 

[macupjunkie]

thx for all your comments, they're much more helpful than the 'just smile, it's not that hard' comments lol. People aren't making rude comments, they're just close people that tell me once in a while. While I'm not trying to change myself for others, I just want to look more approachable becuase i'm not mean person, just shy. I'm scared that I might 'scare' off potential friends in the future.

 

[dixiewolf]

People tell me that too. I dont look mad, but I have been told I have a blank look. Sure I smile and laugh, but to smile all the time makes you look weird. I also get the "be quiet" stuff a lot, b/c I dont talk much. Oh well, I am pretty used to it now, they probably just mean to be funny.

 

[La_Mari]

That's me too. Everyone knows I'm happy pretty much all the time, I just don't look it. You just have to talk to me and notice I'm not "mad". But then I smile and I light up the whole place, lol. Jk. But yeah, people like it when I smile a lot, but I don't want wrinkles.

 

[S. Lisa Smith]

I always walk around with a half smile. I think people aways wonder what I am up to (which, for a lawyer is not a bad thing

). Cultivating a half smile might be something to try. It won't feel as "fake" to you and it's not threatening, nor too inviting. Plus-people will wonder what you are up to.

 

[macupjunkie]

Originally Posted by S. Lisa Smith /img/forum/go_quote.gif I always walk around with a half smile. I think people aways wonder what I am up to (which, for a lawyer is not a bad thing

). Cultivating a half smile might be something to try. It won't feel as "fake" to you and it's not threatening, nor too inviting. Plus-people will wonder what you are up to.

Smiling shouldn't be a hard thing and I'm not saying it's hard, but I forgot to mention in my original post that I can walk around with a smile when I think about it, but once I forget and I'm just going about doing regular stuff my face will just go back in it's neutral state lol. I don't know, I hope I can keep an inviting smile on my face.

 

[farris2]

I know the feeling...same here.I just roll my eyes when they say smile etc

 

[MamaSara]

You know... my hubby is the same way. When we go out people always think he's mad or if he looks at them they think he wants to fight... blah, blah, blah... but that's just his natural look. His words are "If you don't like the way I look, then don't look at me." The only person's opinion that matters is yours! Don't let others bother you!!

 

[BeneBaby]

I have the opposite problem....The "Come F*ck me Buddy or CFMB Face" Hah

I am always smiling and making eye contact, in turn people always think I am...

-Hitting on them

-Hitting on their Boyfriend

-I know them

It's just as awkward as not smiling I suppose. I think it makes some people feel uncomfortable...like Why is she smiling at me?? I say it's your face and you can do whatever you want. I don't walk around smiling on purpose and I can't imagine trying to stop??? It would just look and feel unnatural.

 

[pinksugar]

haha, poor benebaby! I don't even know what a CFMB face would look like on me...

I think a nice even balance would be good.. isn't it weird what we worry about?

 

[andrea90]

I have been told that i look mad a lot and also that I need to smile more. Then people say I look fake when I smile.

 

[BeneBaby]

I think I do a lot of unconscious flirting with my eyes. I also have a very animated face so people get the wrong message a lot...it is hard sometimes because guys are like..."I saw you smiling at me across the room" and I am like..."No I was just smiling....at everyone Sorry"

 

[Anthea]

Ive been told I need to smile more, I can put on a good smile for the camera especally in female mode but it doesnt last, It feels fake to hold a smile for too long. Im not sad or unhappy its just the shape of my face. I think however it turns some people off me.

 

[S. Lisa Smith]

Anthea, try a half smile, not a "giant" full smile.

 

[macupjunkie]

Originally Posted by BeneBaby /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think I do a lot of unconscious flirting with my eyes. I also have a very animated face so people get the wrong message a lot...it is hard sometimes because guys are like..."I saw you smiling at me across the room" and I am like..."No I was just smiling....at everyone Sorry" lol, bet you those guys are dissappointed