I hate guys :[

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my ex boyfriend and i have been in kind of an unofficial relationship since we broke up. and this girl just started talking to him on myspace leaving him comments that sounded really flirty, and leaving comments on his pictures telling him he was hot and blah blah blah. and she seems like a huge ho from looking at her profile. well i kind of asked him about her and he said she just randomly added him and she's been annoying him and he said he talked to her in a message before... and supposedly told her he was "in a weird situation and it would never work out (anything between her and him)" and i've been texting him crying and he just keeps saying "there's no reason to cry" "theres nothing to be sad about" "idk what to tell you". but before whenever i would get scared about some other girl he talked to (we have had trust issues in the past which is why i'm kind of paranoid about it) he's given me a huge speech about how he loves me and want's no one but me and blah blah blah. and he hasn't told me once in our conversation tonight that he loves me. :[ i'm just scared and i don't know what to do. my emotions are going haywire right now and i feel sick to my stomach.

ughh sorry for that being so long. i needed to vent. :[

 
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Speaking from personal experience, its really hard to get back to place where you can trust someone after they've betrayed your trust, but its not impossible if both people are committed to making it work. Maybe you should talk to him about how this "unofficial" relationship is bothering you, because I can definitely see how that could play on your emotions. I mean, why give him all of the benefits of a relationship if he doesn't want to commit? Or maybe taking a bit of time away from him completely would give you some space to evaluate your feelings to decide if you even want to work out the trust issues. It seems to be a tough spot you're in and hopefully soon you'll get some peace and feel better!


 
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I totally agree with maysie. I would feel like he wasn't serious if the relationship wasn't official either. It's ultimatum time
either he makes the relationship official, or it's completely over. (That is how it would be for me)

best of luck chicken, I know how hard it is to be in your situation

 
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thanks for the advice. i'll be talking to him in person about it later tonight. blah :[

 
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i know what you mean girl my ex is saying the same to me i just posted a veryy long vent about it..but yeah guys do suck

 
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I agree with everyone above and it's best for both of you if you just decide to be together or not IMHO.

 
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i don't hate guys. i hate myself and feelings for making me fall for the guys i fall for. who wants to go through those painful feelings? love hurts!

 
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I had a similar situation a long time ago and I can guarantee you that the ultimatum is the only way to go. 1-He will either say that he is not ready and you know where you stand, which is someone that he likes but not enough to commit to or 2- he will say that you should try getting back together.

The only person this unofficial relationship is benefiting is him!

One big hurt is better than dragging out what you are afraid of losing. I have gone along with unofficial and it went nowhere but heartache for me. I have also given an ultimatum and I STUCK TO IT on a different occasion. After the ex heard about my first date through a mutual friend all of a sudden he had his committment pants on again! We were married 2 years later.

You can do it. He will respect you even more and you won't feel so scared.

 
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