I just need to vent...sorry

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envymi

envymi

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Mar 2, 2005
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Ok, so my man and I have had issues lately...it all started when an ex of mine contacted me awhile ago to try to get back with me...it's been a couple years since I was with this guy, but he's a big name guy that my man didn't realize I ever dated. I haven't put too much thought into the ex cuz I've been so busy lately. Now for the first time in like a year and a half, my man and I aren't spending too much time together. We used to be together like 24/7, but I've been working alot for other people doing makeup and he's been busy putting a bunch of mainstream projects together and I just moved into a new place. But now that I'm super busy and I'm hardly seeing my man except late at night, all of a sudden several of my exes are coming out of the woodworks and it's causing more stress in my relationship. AND to top it all off, my man had a meeting today with someone they've been talking to about a dvd project. He wanted me to sit in on the meeting because it's gonna be a little more music oriented, and I'm the one with all the music insight and contacts. And goddammit if when I walked in the door I didn't see a guy I used to mess with when I first met my man! WTF!!! I'm getting tested, and it's coming on pretty strong and I don't think I'm gonna pass this one smoothly.
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I'm tempted...ok there I said it! I've got 3 guys I used to mess with that show up in my life out of nowhere, one of them wants me to move in with him so he can take care of me again, another one is my new next door neighbor, and the 3rd is someone I'll be working with alot soon. Oh yeah, I forgot about a music video I'm doing makeup for next week, the artist is someone I had a fling with a couple years ago. SO what do I do when my man and I aren't doing so great at keeping any balance in our relationship and I've got all this hitting me smack dab in the middle of my ass??!!!

Sorry I'm rambling but I'm pulling hair out stressing over everything in my life right now.

 
you should talk to your bf first to see what the problems are. you're thinking about the problems and thinking just f* it and hook up with the other guys or breakup with your bf. you guys might just be hitting a rough patch in your relationship. if you're willing to break up, then that's up to you about what you wanna do with the other guys.

 
i'm sorry you've been so stressed lately
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maybe this is one of those tests that come up in people's lives ever once in awhile - or maybe i'm the only one who thinks god really throws some stuff our way to see if we can handle it?

from what i've heard from you, your current SO seems so sweet and sounds like a good guy who loves you. do you just want flings or the serious thing? your son needs a guy like your current in his life :icon_love

 
Originally Posted by Jennifer from what i've heard from you, your current SO seems so sweet and sounds like a good guy who loves you. do you just want flings or the serious thing? your son needs a guy like your current in his life :icon_love I agree with Jennifer. I know that you know this but you must do what is right for your son and you. Hang in there!
 
Originally Posted by Jennifer i'm sorry you've been so stressed lately
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maybe this is one of those tests that come up in people's lives ever once in awhile - or maybe i'm the only one who thinks god really throws some stuff our way to see if we can handle it?

from what i've heard from you, your current SO seems so sweet and sounds like a good guy who loves you. do you just want flings or the serious thing? your son needs a guy like your current in his life :icon_love

I know, my man is great with my son. I think part of it is because I've been extremely unhappy lately and very frustrated with my life...no particular reason, everything's just been setting me off. And the exes just sound like such a great escape right now, especially the one who wants me to move in with him. I don't know what it is...life is good and I've got everything I need, but all these people from my past just remind me of when life was better and I had more. That sounds selfish, but I've been very content for a long time, I think I'm just looking to be really happy again.
 
Its ok to be selfish as long as you are good to yourself. There must have been a reason why you broke up with those exes. Think about this... are they good for you? Are they good for your son? Maybe what you need is to be with your son on your own and that will help you clear your mind with what is going on.

 
I agree with Marisol... if you are even tempted to leave, then that's gotta mean something ain't right in your current situation. Or else it wouldn't be an issue.
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Maybe you should take a break - and see what happens...
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Originally Posted by Marisol Its ok to be selfish as long as you are good to yourself. There must have been a reason why you broke up with those exes. Think about this... are they good for you? Are they good for your son? Maybe what you need is to be with your son on your own and that will help you clear your mind with what is going on. You know, it's strange...my man and I were gonna get a condo because he was gonna be buying up property in a few different places and It would be easier out here to have to worry about a big house. Well, right when we got the paperwork for the place was when we started having issues...he ended up putting the condo in his name and I found a smaller house to move in to. So, officially we live separately now, but he still always comes home to me at night. I was thinking of just getting away by myself to sort things out, but work has been coming at me so quickly...I'm pretty much booked until September and then I'll be working on my man's feature film. PLUS, I've got a friend who raps that recently asked me to manage him. SO alone time just ain't happening anytime soon.
 
Originally Posted by envymi You know, it's strange...my man and I were gonna get a condo because he was gonna be buying up property in a few different places and It would be easier out here to have to worry about a big house. Well, right when we got the paperwork for the place was when we started having issues...he ended up putting the condo in his name and I found a smaller house to move in to. So, officially we live separately now, but he still always comes home to me at night. I was thinking of just getting away by myself to sort things out, but work has been coming at me so quickly...I'm pretty much booked until September and then I'll be working on my man's feature film. PLUS, I've got a friend who raps that recently asked me to manage him. SO alone time just ain't happening anytime soon. that sounds like A LOT and having too much on your plate is NOT healthy at all, even if things are looking up. you need to rest and have time to yourself. you're young, you have a son, and you need some alone time. workaholics never enjoy their time later on.
 
If anyone ever needed a vacation, it's you!!.. Even if it's just a weekend, you need to completely get away from it all - your man, your son, your exes - and just concentrate on you and what you want out of your life... I know it's definitely easier said than done, but that's what it sounds like you need... I really feel that everything happens for a reason, so there's definitely a reason that you two didn't get the condo together, and that the exes are popping back up... what that reason is, I can't say... But it's definitely inventory taking time.... Originally Posted by envymi You know, it's strange...my man and I were gonna get a condo because he was gonna be buying up property in a few different places and It would be easier out here to have to worry about a big house. Well, right when we got the paperwork for the place was when we started having issues...he ended up putting the condo in his name and I found a smaller house to move in to. So, officially we live separately now, but he still always comes home to me at night. I was thinking of just getting away by myself to sort things out, but work has been coming at me so quickly...I'm pretty much booked until September and then I'll be working on my man's feature film. PLUS, I've got a friend who raps that recently asked me to manage him. SO alone time just ain't happening anytime soon.
 
Keep the "ex's" as EX's ! Don't get re-involved with any of them again, you don't need anymore stress added to what you already have !

 
Originally Posted by Jennifer

that sounds like A LOT and having too much on your plate is NOT healthy at all, even if things are looking up. you need to rest and have time to yourself. you're young, you have a son, and you need some alone time. workaholics never enjoy their time later on.


I agree with Jen/Marisol, your SON should be top priority over any man...this is IMHO and not saying that he isn't either.
 
Well when it rains, it pours huh! The problem with the exes is they are 'exes' and maybe you are just thinking of the good times you had with them and not the real issues that made them exes in the first place. You really need to do some soul searching and find out what YOU really want in life for you and your son. If the time apart is the only problem that you and your man have, that won't be a problem forever and if you really love him then I think you should just do what you have to do (work wise). It basically just comes down to....do you want it to work with him or do you not.

 
Originally Posted by envymi I know, my man is great with my son. I think part of it is because I've been extremely unhappy lately and very frustrated with my life...no particular reason, everything's just been setting me off. And the exes just sound like such a great escape right now, especially the one who wants me to move in with him. I don't know what it is...life is good and I've got everything I need, but all these people from my past just remind me of when life was better and I had more. That sounds selfish, but I've been very content for a long time, I think I'm just looking to be really happy again. hm..I think you gave yourself the answer. the exes are an "escape"....sounds like you´re maybe bored with your SO? and when you say there is no particular reason you are frustrated with your life, I don´t think it would be smart to get back with an ex just to get some sort of change.

 
Originally Posted by QurlySq If anyone ever needed a vacation, it's you!!.. Even if it's just a weekend, you need to completely get away from it all - your man, your son, your exes - and just concentrate on you and what you want out of your life... I know it's definitely easier said than done, but that's what it sounds like you need... I really feel that everything happens for a reason, so there's definitely a reason that you two didn't get the condo together, and that the exes are popping back up... what that reason is, I can't say... But it's definitely inventory taking time.... I know...I have a friend who is due for a vacation soon and he asked me to go with him(yes he's a man, but he's just a friend-a really good one who's been there for me through everything for the last 6 years) he said I need time off more than he does, but he's trying to figure out dates so I can see if I can free up my schedule to go too. He wants me to figure out somewhere I haven't been yet, which is hard cuz I've traveled alot. I think I just might take him up on it...I could leave my son with his grandmother and as long as I try not schedule any work at the time, I'll be good. I think time away with no destractions and him to talk to will help me make up my mind about things. He helped me straighten up my life and get clean and he's been there for me through all my failed relationships and everything else I've put myself through, so time with him always helps me think clearer. I think I can clear up the first week of September, now I just need to figure out where to go. Does anyone know how Greece is around that time? If not there, I'd love to go back to France. I just hope I can stay clear headed enough to keep the peace with my man until then. Cuz my stupid butt is always the one who messes things up.
 
Holy cow Envymi.. So you're a porn star, a make up artist & now you're gonna be managing a rapper plus you're a mom. Where do you find the hours for all this?? A holiday is definitely on the cards for you.

Greece is absoultey fab around this time year. You'll be guaranteed fantastic weather.

 
Originally Posted by Laura

Holy cow Envymi.. So you're a porn star, a make up artist & now you're gonna be managing a rapper plus you're a mom. Where do you find the hours for all this?? A holiday is definitely on the cards for you.
Greece is absoultey fab around this time year. You'll be guaranteed fantastic weather.




I thought the same thing. IMHO, I would concentrate on being a mom over all that.
 
Originally Posted by Laura Holy cow Envymi.. So you're a porn star, a make up artist & now you're gonna be managing a rapper plus you're a mom. Where do you find the hours for all this?? A holiday is definitely on the cards for you.
Amen!
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Thanks everyone...I know I need a big rest...I talked to my friend today and we're gonna aim for the first week of Sept, not too much going on that week. But everything before and after that week is HECTIC, so I'll just have to make sure I completely rest while I'm away...no cell phones, no computers, NOTHING! ooooh that'll be hard for me
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