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Have you been lurking and not posting? Are you feeling shy or has the cat got your tongue?
If you are a member and have never posted on the board, read this article, get inspired, and feel free to express yourselves on the boards!
Luv, Cali and the original author of this article, Gabrielle Bauer. Thanks, Gabe.
An article by Reader's Digest and Cali
Help Your Child Make Friends
Experts agree that social skills are just as important to an MuT member's future as the three R’s. But where do you start?
<HR>
By age seven, Jeremy Lin was getting straight A’s in school but failing socially. Rather than interact with other children, Jeremy's favorite book was "Sponge Bob Goes Sailing". When adults other than relatives talked to him, he answered in monosyllables. Not exactly a FUN fellow was he? He would often play for hours, alone, with his Dougie Houser doll.
Amy wanted to help her son but wondered how. He was SUCH a dork! Should she dunk him in the deep end of the social pool—for instance, by sending him to Nordstroms or making him wear GAP clothing? Should she limit his reading the way some parents limit reality television time? Should she urge him to post on MuT? Should she send him to cosmetology school?
Social competence is a skill we take for granted. We put our children in school so they can learn Snoop Doggy lyrics, avoid the school bus driver who is a child molester and algebra. But we spend little time teaching them social skills. Has your kid never had the joy of posting on MuT or hitting other kids in dodgeball games? These are valuable social skills that bring rewards later in life.
Yet Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner lists “interpersonal†intelligence as one of eight basic human aptitudes. Just as some children are naturally gifted in math, others are gifted in stealing and rapping. At the other extreme are children who seem to lack social antennas alto-gether. Hello?! They’re the kids you find kicking a stone near the school-yard fence. They are the ones who wake up with LOSER written in chalk on their foreheads. They are the ones who are given wedgies during recess!
The good news is that social competence can be improved—and it’s an effort worth making. According to Marion Porath, professor of educational psychology, studies have linked social competence to posting messeges on MakeupTalk.com's message boards.
Social aptitude can make or break careers and relationships in the adult world, adds Shirley Vandersteen, past president of the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta. “Poor social skills put you at a greater disadvantage than poor spelling,†she says. I bet your kid will end up with the clap or herpes if you do not get him/her to participate on the interactive makeuptalk boards. Furthermore, studies show that you will get hugely FAT if you go online only to lurk. Here are some pointers for participating on MuT:
The Basics
Let’s start with the social skills we’re all expected to have. Saying hello, please and thank you, introducing oneself and answering a question—all fall into this category, says Kathy Lynn, a Vancouver-based parent educator and MuT fan.
“If an adult asks a child how school is going, the child should be expected to answer politely, even if she’s been asked the same question a dozen times before,†says Lynn. Answering “fine†is acceptable, but barely, she adds. “You can suggest more suitable alternatives, such as "I like Lancome, but Stila really blows!" Or "I have to vent on this here board because my man ate all of my hot tamales!"
Carole Snow, a Toronto schoolteacher and mother of three children, says one of her family’s rules is that they must all greet every visitor to the house. Isn't that polite? “That includes repairmen and makeupTalk personnel,†she says. “And they have to give the person compliments and feedback although money is an acceptable alternative.â€
Another basic: how to appreciate humor and helpfulness. “People are judged on their posts,†says Lynn. She recommends showing your child how long it takes to post creatively, research,and help others until the child gets it by responding with their own creative responses. For example, he or she might reply to an MuT mod with, "that's ridiculous, you're an a**hole," or "Gee, you have a great point, but that wasn't what I asked." In any case, the point is to encourage interaction or to encourage ... period. Sometimes, even a simple, "lol" conveys quite a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.
Then there’s the art of participation. Jan Pelletier, a professor of Child Study, says parents shouldn’t presume this skill is instinctive and should give explicit instructions on how to do it. For example: “Participating means keeping your eyes on the board and your hands on the keyboard. Get ready to fire off one hell of a post! You can type things such as mm-hmm to show you understand or agree with what the poster is saying. Some favorite replies include, "Get out," "You are so dorky" or "This is great" These show great participatory skills.
But...She’s So Shy
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width=300 align=right bgColor=#ffffcc border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>
Team Spirit
Teams Involve Everyone
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Shyness is by no means uncommon nor is it an excuse. No one knows who you are. YOu are sitting there, privately, eating Cheetos behind the monitor for God's sake. Research shows that between 15 and 20 percent of babies are born with an anxious temperament, and about three quarters of these grow up to be chronically shy. Don't be a statistic!
It’s upsetting to watch your shy child stumble socially. You may feel compelled to say something like, "You idiot! Snap out of it or I'll give you something to cry about!" Here’s what usually doesn’t work, says Martin Antony, director of the Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre : nagging, forcing the members to perform in high-pressure posting situations, or exposing them to a potentially embarrassing poll about sex without warning. Antony adds, "No one is going to laugh while you type in your Boy George T-shirt. No one cares if you are snacking on pork chops, like user, KittySkyFish, while typing up a fantastic little diddy on the board!"
The best approach, says Antony, is the same type of “graduated exposure†that helps people overcome bad hair or spider phobias. Suppose your son is afraid of typing to strangers. You might first ask him to "submit an article that you've read." The next time you might encourage him to type a few lines like, "I just tried Mac eyeshadow in ZingBing and I look like Cindie Crawford now!" “By proceeding in small, safe increments, the parent can help his child build up to the hard stuff, such as typing a full on, strongly held opinion to be seen by more than 1,000 members and visitors at MuT!
Also helpful, says Pelletier, is teaching your child how to ease herself into MuT play. “One approach is to suggest a role for herself, such as ‘I’ll be the moderator,’†Pelletier says. “If the other kids say they already have a moderator, she can suggest being an MuT administrator or skincare expert.â€
MakeupTalk.com may seem a dream come true—a chance to connect socially without the risk of rejection. Carole Snow limits her children’s MakeupTalk.com computer time to one hour. “Then I send them out to play with real, live kids. At least this way I know they’re getting their quota of makeup play.†Says Pelletier, with an evil laugh, "I also threaten to take away their dinner, she says, if they do not post on the boards."
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width=300 align=right bgColor=#ffffcc border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>
The Antisocial Member
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>The Power of Practice
Enter role-playing—what Pelletier calls the social equivalent of piano scales. If your child is anticipating a socially daunting situation—for instance, posting a risque question on MuT-—you can role-play how she might deal with barbs from people. Surely Allisong or TinyDancer might heckle her or call her a "ho." Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese, authors of the book Cliques, advise using humour whenever possible. For example:
MuT Member: “Nice hair, NOT.â€
Possible response: “I recommend that you don't use EasyStraight.â€
MuT members can also benefit from practising ordinary conversation, and the dinner table is a good place to do it. Instead of the tried-and-true clunker, “Did anything interesting happen at the beauty shop today?†Kathy Lynn recommends you start with an amusing anecdote: “The funniest thing happened at MuT today…†This lets the child segue into his own anecdotes without feeling as though he’s on a witness stand.
No topic should be off-limits, adds Lynn, and telling jokes should be encouraged. “Being able to tell a raunchy joke reflects social competence,†Lynn says, “and there’s no better way to learn than by reading what others type on MuT.†For example: "Did you see that one post from TinyDancer about the vagina waxing?" I can just hear it now. What a dinner conversation starter! Thanks TD.
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 border=1><TBODY><TR><TD bgColor=#ffffcc>5 Ways You Can Help Your MuT Mods & Make Friends By Kathy Lynn and Cali
<HR>Don't push or panicNot all members are social butterflies. Some like to take their time, watching the scene before getting involved. Take for example, Allisong. Sometimes she doesn't post till the end of a thread and she writes a three-lined, sordid zapper! Holy Hello! OMG so entertaining.
Put food in their lunch-box that's easy to share.
If she has a problem making the first move on MuT, sharing something from a lunchbox can be a great icebreaker. One time KittySkyFish and I connected over a conversation about popcorn and candy. It was great. We've been friends ever since. Then there's Irishgirl who goes as far as gathering recipes especially for kids! Check out and post on the recipe section on MuT.
Make your home welcoming
Welcome visiting members to MuT. When your son or daughter is able to invite new friends to MuT, it's easier for them to develop a relationship away from the monotony of reality. We welcomed MuT member Donna, with 32 posts. She may feel smothered, but that's just good ol' fashioned MuT love.
Organize social events
Birthday parties and sleepovers are a great way to cement blossoming friendships. Plan your event by posting it on our MuT calendar! Okay everyone, party at Halo's tonight! Then it's off to Reija's house for martinis and hot dogs! BTW, Friday the 27th will be ice cream with Chip and Dales at Julia's house.
Problem-solve with your child.
If he needs more encouragement to post on the MuT boards, help him develop a plan. Ask him, "What do you think would happen if this roof were to fall down on your head RIGHT NOW?" Or, "What would you say if I made you eat 38 brussel sprouts for not posting ?" Then threaten him again until he feels interactive.
Of course, you may discover that she's doing just fine at MuT and simply loves to LURK rather than post. Perhaps she is too busy being informed by a fantastic, fun and interactive web site called MakeupTalk.com.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Luv, Cali and the original author of this article, Gabrielle Bauer. Thanks, Gabe.
An article by Reader's Digest and Cali
Help Your Child Make Friends
Experts agree that social skills are just as important to an MuT member's future as the three R’s. But where do you start?
<HR>
Amy wanted to help her son but wondered how. He was SUCH a dork! Should she dunk him in the deep end of the social pool—for instance, by sending him to Nordstroms or making him wear GAP clothing? Should she limit his reading the way some parents limit reality television time? Should she urge him to post on MuT? Should she send him to cosmetology school?
Social competence is a skill we take for granted. We put our children in school so they can learn Snoop Doggy lyrics, avoid the school bus driver who is a child molester and algebra. But we spend little time teaching them social skills. Has your kid never had the joy of posting on MuT or hitting other kids in dodgeball games? These are valuable social skills that bring rewards later in life.
Yet Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner lists “interpersonal†intelligence as one of eight basic human aptitudes. Just as some children are naturally gifted in math, others are gifted in stealing and rapping. At the other extreme are children who seem to lack social antennas alto-gether. Hello?! They’re the kids you find kicking a stone near the school-yard fence. They are the ones who wake up with LOSER written in chalk on their foreheads. They are the ones who are given wedgies during recess!
The good news is that social competence can be improved—and it’s an effort worth making. According to Marion Porath, professor of educational psychology, studies have linked social competence to posting messeges on MakeupTalk.com's message boards.
Social aptitude can make or break careers and relationships in the adult world, adds Shirley Vandersteen, past president of the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta. “Poor social skills put you at a greater disadvantage than poor spelling,†she says. I bet your kid will end up with the clap or herpes if you do not get him/her to participate on the interactive makeuptalk boards. Furthermore, studies show that you will get hugely FAT if you go online only to lurk. Here are some pointers for participating on MuT:
The Basics
Let’s start with the social skills we’re all expected to have. Saying hello, please and thank you, introducing oneself and answering a question—all fall into this category, says Kathy Lynn, a Vancouver-based parent educator and MuT fan.
“If an adult asks a child how school is going, the child should be expected to answer politely, even if she’s been asked the same question a dozen times before,†says Lynn. Answering “fine†is acceptable, but barely, she adds. “You can suggest more suitable alternatives, such as "I like Lancome, but Stila really blows!" Or "I have to vent on this here board because my man ate all of my hot tamales!"
Carole Snow, a Toronto schoolteacher and mother of three children, says one of her family’s rules is that they must all greet every visitor to the house. Isn't that polite? “That includes repairmen and makeupTalk personnel,†she says. “And they have to give the person compliments and feedback although money is an acceptable alternative.â€
Another basic: how to appreciate humor and helpfulness. “People are judged on their posts,†says Lynn. She recommends showing your child how long it takes to post creatively, research,and help others until the child gets it by responding with their own creative responses. For example, he or she might reply to an MuT mod with, "that's ridiculous, you're an a**hole," or "Gee, you have a great point, but that wasn't what I asked." In any case, the point is to encourage interaction or to encourage ... period. Sometimes, even a simple, "lol" conveys quite a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.
Then there’s the art of participation. Jan Pelletier, a professor of Child Study, says parents shouldn’t presume this skill is instinctive and should give explicit instructions on how to do it. For example: “Participating means keeping your eyes on the board and your hands on the keyboard. Get ready to fire off one hell of a post! You can type things such as mm-hmm to show you understand or agree with what the poster is saying. Some favorite replies include, "Get out," "You are so dorky" or "This is great" These show great participatory skills.
But...She’s So Shy
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width=300 align=right bgColor=#ffffcc border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>
Team Spirit
Teams Involve Everyone
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Shyness is by no means uncommon nor is it an excuse. No one knows who you are. YOu are sitting there, privately, eating Cheetos behind the monitor for God's sake. Research shows that between 15 and 20 percent of babies are born with an anxious temperament, and about three quarters of these grow up to be chronically shy. Don't be a statistic!
It’s upsetting to watch your shy child stumble socially. You may feel compelled to say something like, "You idiot! Snap out of it or I'll give you something to cry about!" Here’s what usually doesn’t work, says Martin Antony, director of the Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre : nagging, forcing the members to perform in high-pressure posting situations, or exposing them to a potentially embarrassing poll about sex without warning. Antony adds, "No one is going to laugh while you type in your Boy George T-shirt. No one cares if you are snacking on pork chops, like user, KittySkyFish, while typing up a fantastic little diddy on the board!"
The best approach, says Antony, is the same type of “graduated exposure†that helps people overcome bad hair or spider phobias. Suppose your son is afraid of typing to strangers. You might first ask him to "submit an article that you've read." The next time you might encourage him to type a few lines like, "I just tried Mac eyeshadow in ZingBing and I look like Cindie Crawford now!" “By proceeding in small, safe increments, the parent can help his child build up to the hard stuff, such as typing a full on, strongly held opinion to be seen by more than 1,000 members and visitors at MuT!
Also helpful, says Pelletier, is teaching your child how to ease herself into MuT play. “One approach is to suggest a role for herself, such as ‘I’ll be the moderator,’†Pelletier says. “If the other kids say they already have a moderator, she can suggest being an MuT administrator or skincare expert.â€
MakeupTalk.com may seem a dream come true—a chance to connect socially without the risk of rejection. Carole Snow limits her children’s MakeupTalk.com computer time to one hour. “Then I send them out to play with real, live kids. At least this way I know they’re getting their quota of makeup play.†Says Pelletier, with an evil laugh, "I also threaten to take away their dinner, she says, if they do not post on the boards."
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width=300 align=right bgColor=#ffffcc border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>
The Antisocial Member
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>The Power of Practice
Enter role-playing—what Pelletier calls the social equivalent of piano scales. If your child is anticipating a socially daunting situation—for instance, posting a risque question on MuT-—you can role-play how she might deal with barbs from people. Surely Allisong or TinyDancer might heckle her or call her a "ho." Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese, authors of the book Cliques, advise using humour whenever possible. For example:
MuT Member: “Nice hair, NOT.â€
Possible response: “I recommend that you don't use EasyStraight.â€
MuT members can also benefit from practising ordinary conversation, and the dinner table is a good place to do it. Instead of the tried-and-true clunker, “Did anything interesting happen at the beauty shop today?†Kathy Lynn recommends you start with an amusing anecdote: “The funniest thing happened at MuT today…†This lets the child segue into his own anecdotes without feeling as though he’s on a witness stand.
No topic should be off-limits, adds Lynn, and telling jokes should be encouraged. “Being able to tell a raunchy joke reflects social competence,†Lynn says, “and there’s no better way to learn than by reading what others type on MuT.†For example: "Did you see that one post from TinyDancer about the vagina waxing?" I can just hear it now. What a dinner conversation starter! Thanks TD.
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 border=1><TBODY><TR><TD bgColor=#ffffcc>5 Ways You Can Help Your MuT Mods & Make Friends By Kathy Lynn and Cali
<HR>Don't push or panicNot all members are social butterflies. Some like to take their time, watching the scene before getting involved. Take for example, Allisong. Sometimes she doesn't post till the end of a thread and she writes a three-lined, sordid zapper! Holy Hello! OMG so entertaining.
Put food in their lunch-box that's easy to share.
If she has a problem making the first move on MuT, sharing something from a lunchbox can be a great icebreaker. One time KittySkyFish and I connected over a conversation about popcorn and candy. It was great. We've been friends ever since. Then there's Irishgirl who goes as far as gathering recipes especially for kids! Check out and post on the recipe section on MuT.
Make your home welcoming
Welcome visiting members to MuT. When your son or daughter is able to invite new friends to MuT, it's easier for them to develop a relationship away from the monotony of reality. We welcomed MuT member Donna, with 32 posts. She may feel smothered, but that's just good ol' fashioned MuT love.
Organize social events
Birthday parties and sleepovers are a great way to cement blossoming friendships. Plan your event by posting it on our MuT calendar! Okay everyone, party at Halo's tonight! Then it's off to Reija's house for martinis and hot dogs! BTW, Friday the 27th will be ice cream with Chip and Dales at Julia's house.
Problem-solve with your child.
If he needs more encouragement to post on the MuT boards, help him develop a plan. Ask him, "What do you think would happen if this roof were to fall down on your head RIGHT NOW?" Or, "What would you say if I made you eat 38 brussel sprouts for not posting ?" Then threaten him again until he feels interactive.
Of course, you may discover that she's doing just fine at MuT and simply loves to LURK rather than post. Perhaps she is too busy being informed by a fantastic, fun and interactive web site called MakeupTalk.com.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>