Parent rant etc..

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Yesterday I found out I will need two surgeries. My elbow and wrist, both on the same arm.

In the past I have posted about my parents how they are abusive, unsupportive etc. Anyways I try little as possible to communicate with them. Yesterday I spoke to them and mentioned I will be having surgery sometime this autumn. They both said "That's nice, but you will be on your own, were not helping you out while you recover!" In hindsight I shouldn't have mentioned it because I wouldn't have to listen to their comments.

A year and half ago I had surgery on the same arm, stayed with my parents, it was my worst nightmare. They just nagged at me constantly which didn't help with the recovery process. I had a problem with my drainage tube last year and my dad was all snarly about helping me empty it. That's just part of it.

I really don't want their help anyways because of their attitude but at the same it hurts.

I am grown woman who is capable of helping herself, I've been doing it for years. I guess sometimes you still need your parents but I also know they will never change.

I'm also feeling very angry at my exbf. My surgeries are due to him, his past abuse. I'm moving forward emotionally but physically I am left with my arm problem etc.

I know once I have the surgery it will help erase the physical pain, help me move forward. I just feel so angry at him for what he's done!

 
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im sorry about what has happened to you, both with ur family and ur ex.

you always need ur parents no matter what happens, but in your case that is just nasty.

I hope this recovery will be alot smoother as u have something to look forward to and that is to erase what has happened!!

And im sure all of us here at MUT will be glad to be ur lil get well cheer squad lol

 
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Thanks Chantelle.
Very true, once I have surgery it will help erase the past.

 
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I know what you mean when it comes to having mean parents.I hope your surgery goes well and hope your recover smooth and wish the best for you.

 
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I'm sorry about what all has happened to you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and best of luck on the surgery.

 
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I'm sorry for all you have had to face. I hope that the surgeries help and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.



 
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Can you get a VON or similar to visit with you, the first few days after the surgery? I think your doctor will have to fill out the paperwork before the surgery so they you can get VON visit and coverage.

Otherwise, sorry to hear that your parents are still so unsupportive.

 
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Aww Shelley


i know how you feel, please try to not think about him, i know that having your arm injured and having to have so many surgeries on it due to your ex bf's abuse makes you think about him and all that he has made you go through. You know, parents arent really the ones who engender, it doesnt really give anyone the title of parent even if you came from them, if they have always respected you and raised you with love then they deserve it but they dont.

There will always be people who will love you, and who will be willing to give you support.

If i could help, i would, it's such a shame we live far away from each other, but, we are here to listen to you, and give you support, at least you can count on me.

I wish you the best with your surgery, i hope everything goes well, take care *hugs*

 
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Thanks everyone! Your support means alot to me.


Carolyn, thanks for the great tip. I forgot about those services. Yes we do have VON and others. I will mention it to my surgeon. Thanks!


daerOn, Thank you for your support. As time passes I think of my ex less often, somedays it hits me more than others, but better compared to many months ago.

True about my parents. I really don't refer to them as parents. I may be their flesh and blood but to me they don't deserve the title.

 
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Gosh girl. I really hate to hear that. I don't understand why some parents are like that. My parents were abusive to a point but nothing like you have been through. I hope your surgies go well and I wish you the best. Please keep us posted. I don't know if you are religious or not but praying has always helped me through things.

 
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Shelley, I just want to give you a *hug*. It is terrible everything that you have been through, but I have to say you are a very strong woman. I'm so sorry that your parents are not supportive of you, but as someone else said, we will be your cheering squad. I wish I lived closer, I would come help you when I could in a heartbeat.


 
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huggles shell.. that's so frustrating and annoying. My bf is currently having issues with his mother and it's so hard not to feel upset and angry on his behalf, so i can only imagine how you feel to be living through it


what I cant understand, is how they cant see what a sweet and smart and articulate person you are. It drives me crazy! best of luck honey. Its good you're getting the surgeries, hopefully everything will get better from here on in!

 
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Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. It means alot to me.


My parents never see the good in me. Instead I am 'rotten' to them. If I were to say I received a compliment on something they would laugh in my face instead of being happy.

I know they will never change, I've accepted that.

I'm just glad I didn't turn out like them.

At least the surgery will help heal my past. I'm dealing with the emotional part better, it's just the physical problems that are a reminder.

The surgeon is going to fix my wrist but also do a scar revision. The wrist scar I have from my previous surgery is a reminder of my ex. He injured my wrist shortly after my first surgery which made the surgery scar uglier and larger. At least it will be smaller or whatever she does to fix it.

My elbow surgery will be more extensive from what I understand. I see my family doctor for a pre-op exam tomorrow and once the papers are sent in to the surgeon I should hopefully have surgery date booked within the next few months.

 
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Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif let us know how the surgeries go, I'm all excited for you
Thanks Pinksugar!
I promise to update.
 
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Have you considered staying with your grandparents, or aunt or something? Have a cousing come visit you to help you out. You need some emotional support. We'll be here for you! I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But hope your surgery goes well and you recover fast.

 

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