Thank you Gwen!!
Random question: kids and marriage
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tony, my parents were (are) the same way. we've (my 3 siblings and i) never had a babysitter and i remember the one night my parents attempted to go out for their anniversary one night, they came back 15 mins. later and took us with them even though we didn't ask LOL
Originally Posted by Jennifer
tony, my parents were (are) the same way. we've (my 3 siblings and i) never had a babysitter and i remember the one night my parents attempted to go out for their anniversary one night, they came back 15 mins. later and took us with them even though we didn't ask LOL
Awwwwwww how nice!
tony, my parents were (are) the same way. we've (my 3 siblings and i) never had a babysitter and i remember the one night my parents attempted to go out for their anniversary one night, they came back 15 mins. later and took us with them even though we didn't ask LOL
Awwwwwww how nice!
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Us too, on very rare occasions my parents left us with my grandparents -- but even that was only for doctor's appointments and such, they never went on dates alone! (Although my mom admits that now my brother and I have moved out, they're having fun having the house all to themselves, lol)
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HI.
I have been married for a little over a year. I was married when I was 30.
But, we were dating for 10 years, lived together for 7. So getting married was just a "formality" for us!
Also, there are no plans for kids at this point. MAYBE in the future, but then again, maybe not!
I have been married for a little over a year. I was married when I was 30.
But, we were dating for 10 years, lived together for 7. So getting married was just a "formality" for us!
Also, there are no plans for kids at this point. MAYBE in the future, but then again, maybe not!
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Suzukigrrl.. Dont let them pressure you. In my opinion, marriage is a big deal. I got married at the nice age of 34 at in September 2003 and divorced in 2005. I dated my now ex-husband for about 3 years. Marriage means alot more then people give it credit for. But its all about WHY you got married. Some marry not to be alone or for family pressures and they are never "truly" happy. My younger sister was married and her first child was born and i wasn't even married yet. Big Deal. Marriage is not a piece of paper, that is what a marriage LICENSE is.. I dont understand how so many take it lightly. You dont just do it for the hell of it. My mom always told me, its much eaiser to get married then get divorced, wow, was she right. I thought i married "the one".. After we split up, the hurtful feelings, rumours among people we knew.. it was very embarassing for me since we lasted such a short time. But i left out of concern for my safety, something i NEVER had to worry about prior to the wedding! Dont let them define you by your marital status..
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:icon_love I knew I would marry my husband the moment I met him. I guess you could say it was love at first sight. I had gone through a lot of turbulent long-term relationships, and finally met the right guy. We've been inseparable since the day we met, moved in officially after 3 months together and got married 3 years later. It was great living together and figuring out how to balance all aspects of our relationship. Three months after we got married, I became pregnant with our son. I was 29 when we married, 30 when I got pregnant. Exactly four years later, I gave birth to our daughter. For me, for us, everything fell into place perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing. Maybe one more baby, if we're lucky, in a few years.
Getting married in my late twenties, and preggy at 30 was good timing for me. I, personally, in my early twenties, was not mature or responsible enough to take care of anyone else. I was very wild and partied alot (looking back, I scare myself). I became more balanced and really figured out who I was, in my mid-twenties. I was so ready to settle down and start a family. I am so happy where I am in my life right now. Everyone's paths are different, and everyone's timing is different. I say, never settle and never do anything just to make others happy. Also, like Gwen mentioned, thanks to medical science, women are having healthy babies in their 40's - with or without signicant others. My cousin's pregnant for the first time with twin boys, and she's 41.
Getting married in my late twenties, and preggy at 30 was good timing for me. I, personally, in my early twenties, was not mature or responsible enough to take care of anyone else. I was very wild and partied alot (looking back, I scare myself). I became more balanced and really figured out who I was, in my mid-twenties. I was so ready to settle down and start a family. I am so happy where I am in my life right now. Everyone's paths are different, and everyone's timing is different. I say, never settle and never do anything just to make others happy. Also, like Gwen mentioned, thanks to medical science, women are having healthy babies in their 40's - with or without signicant others. My cousin's pregnant for the first time with twin boys, and she's 41.
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wow. my story is completely different from anyone else's.
i'm 21 and about to have our first child in august. bobby and i are getting married, spring of 2007. we'll be 22 years old. unless having a baby will be more hard then we plan. but, we adore eachother and want to sooo badly be joined together as husband and wife. i mean, every couple and every person is different. dont feel pressured about marriage or kids. my lordy! its your life. live as you please =]
i'm 21 and about to have our first child in august. bobby and i are getting married, spring of 2007. we'll be 22 years old. unless having a baby will be more hard then we plan. but, we adore eachother and want to sooo badly be joined together as husband and wife. i mean, every couple and every person is different. dont feel pressured about marriage or kids. my lordy! its your life. live as you please =]
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I was 23 when I got married.
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My mom was married at 20, dad was 22. They were together for 6 years before that. Im 23 and they would never ever think of bugging me. I stil live at home, I moved back ater 2 and half years living on my own. Dad always says, that i can live here as long as I want. My parents are great, and I like my life, but I want kids and to be married, and would like to at least be married by 30....but you just never know what will happen. Gotta meet someone first...
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Originally Posted by Jennifer i'm sorry they're pressuring you, suzuki! i hate that.
my mom got married at 16 (arranged marriage) and lots of my relatives got married before 25. if you're albanian and over 22, there's "something wrong". a few of my relatives got engaged when they were 2, 14, etc. and one even while her mom was pregnant, so she was already engaged when she came into the world! crazy stuff.
in albanian life, EVERYTHINGGGGG revolves around marriage, so don't feel so badly. look on the bright side
WOOWWWWW!!! Wow! Wow! Wow! Jennifer, your mom must be so fascinating! I've never met someone who had an arranged marriage and to marry so young! If I were you, I would interview her and write what she says down. If you have children one day, they will be interested to hear all about their grandmother's life, her points of view, all the things so very different from they will probably experience.
my mom got married at 16 (arranged marriage) and lots of my relatives got married before 25. if you're albanian and over 22, there's "something wrong". a few of my relatives got engaged when they were 2, 14, etc. and one even while her mom was pregnant, so she was already engaged when she came into the world! crazy stuff.
in albanian life, EVERYTHINGGGGG revolves around marriage, so don't feel so badly. look on the bright side
WOOWWWWW!!! Wow! Wow! Wow! Jennifer, your mom must be so fascinating! I've never met someone who had an arranged marriage and to marry so young! If I were you, I would interview her and write what she says down. If you have children one day, they will be interested to hear all about their grandmother's life, her points of view, all the things so very different from they will probably experience.
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I love Tony's post! I want to be one of those people who is always positive! How do you do that?
The one thing I do want to throw out there is it is not always a sure thing that you will be able to have babies at an older age. I had my first at 35 and would like to have another (I'll be 38 in June). It took me a year to get pregnant, but I have other friends who haven't been able to at all, and there are more risks. Obviously you can't just get pregnant based on how old you are. Life doesn't always make things so simple! But when you are in your 20s I think often it feels like you have all the time in the world, especially when you hear about ladies having babies in their 40s. But the fact is, it's easier and safer when you're younger, an unfair quirk of mother nature I guess.
Well gee, so much for being super positive!
The one thing I do want to throw out there is it is not always a sure thing that you will be able to have babies at an older age. I had my first at 35 and would like to have another (I'll be 38 in June). It took me a year to get pregnant, but I have other friends who haven't been able to at all, and there are more risks. Obviously you can't just get pregnant based on how old you are. Life doesn't always make things so simple! But when you are in your 20s I think often it feels like you have all the time in the world, especially when you hear about ladies having babies in their 40s. But the fact is, it's easier and safer when you're younger, an unfair quirk of mother nature I guess.
Well gee, so much for being super positive!
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Originally Posted by hissycat WOOWWWWW!!! Wow! Wow! Wow! Jennifer, your mom must be so fascinating! I've never met someone who had an arranged marriage and to marry so young! If I were you, I would interview her and write what she says down. If you have children one day, they will be interested to hear all about their grandmother's life, her points of view, all the things so very different from they will probably experience. it definitely is interesting! unfortunately, my parents separated 4 years ago (21 years later), but every other single arranged married couple i know are happily married
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Originally Posted by Jennifer but every other single arranged married couple i know are happily married
Isn't that something? I used to work with a girl whose family was from India (she was actually born and raised in ths US) and the way she described arranged marriages in her culture was almost like a dating service run by parents. According to her, she still had final veto powers! Can you imagine being betrothed as a fetus?
Sorry about your parents though. 21 yrs is a long time.
Sorry about your parents though. 21 yrs is a long time.
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Originally Posted by hissycat Isn't that something? I used to work with a girl whose family was from India (she was actually born and raised in ths US) and the way she described arranged marriages in her culture was almost like a dating service run by parents. According to her, she still had final veto powers! Can you imagine being betrothed as a fetus?
Sorry about your parents though. 21 yrs is a long time.
thanks
it is a long time.
haha, that's exactly what it sounds like, a dating service run by parents!
Sorry about your parents though. 21 yrs is a long time.
thanks
haha, that's exactly what it sounds like, a dating service run by parents!
My mom was 30 when she had me. She was married 20 years when my dad died. She wishes she had 3 kids instead of 2 (she had her tubes tied after I was born, b/c I was so wonderful she knew another kid could not compare)
. I want to get married, but I have had so many bad relationships, I have been dating my bf for 4 years and I will be 29 this year. He is 36. I dont want to live with him until I am at least engaged, so we will see. I miss him, which is why I want to get married, he gets weepy sometimes when I go home (I only live 10 minutes away, lol), so I dont think he is going to wait a lot longer to ask. But I dont know about having kids. I will see what happens, I might be too old by the time that comes around.
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I'm 26 years old, and I was 17 when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had her almost three months after my 18th birthday. I married my husband at 24 years old, and we had a daughter about 6 mths. after we married (wedding had been planned, and we were planning to elope two days before we found out I was pregnant)... Anyway, I'm 26 years old w/ an 8yr. old and a 19 mth. old... (I made my sisters aunts at 5 and 13 yrs. old)
My mom was 20 when she had me, but she never married my father. She and my stepfather married a mth. before her 26th birthday, and had my first sister when I was 5 and my other sister when I was 13... So, my mom's a grandmother at 46 years old to two grandaughters and a grandson on the way (my sister's pregnant at 20 yrs. old w/ my first nephew)!!!
(Okay, how about I just noticed a pattern between my mother and I... Weird!!!)
My mom was 20 when she had me, but she never married my father. She and my stepfather married a mth. before her 26th birthday, and had my first sister when I was 5 and my other sister when I was 13... So, my mom's a grandmother at 46 years old to two grandaughters and a grandson on the way (my sister's pregnant at 20 yrs. old w/ my first nephew)!!!
(Okay, how about I just noticed a pattern between my mother and I... Weird!!!)
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Well maybe i shouldn't say much but oh well! lol. I first got married when I was 23(in 1993). I had my daughter when I was 29(in 1999). I got divorced in 2005, after denying myself of happiness for 11 years. Long story short it was an abusive relationship, verbally and physically. I finally told myself I have to do this for my daughter! And that's just what I did. I just got married on January 7,2006 to the man I have been waiting for all my life! He is so good to me and my daughter. I knew that he was the one. This too is his second marriage. I am 35 now and know what I want in life. I never thought that I would get divorced let alone get married again. It is something you have to decide for yourself. It is hard to find someone that is all that you want. Marriage is work. The biggest advice I can give you is that you will know if he is the one. And it may take awhile for this to happen. The most important thing is that you are happy. It shouldn't matter when you get married. It is when you are ready to.
