Sisters passing

[puncturedskirt]

So March 10th of this year my oldest sister who was 28 years old passed away from a drug overdose. We were never really 'close'. We talked here and there but it wasn't very often since I didn't like her drug problem. I just wish i could've been there for her more, trying to help more even though she didn't want anyones help because she felt as if she didn't have a problem. She said she liked being high and she liked who she was.

I never thought this would've happened though and even though it was 8 months ago it still feels like yesterday at times.

...I don't know, I just wish i could've told her even though I didn't like the person she was on that crap, I still loved her but i honestly don't think she knew that because of how i was. I think that's what makes this more ****ed up.

This isn't being posted for pity, I just needed to vent. Today's just one of those days where I just feel like sh*t.

 

[KellyB]

You'd be surprised what people really know. I'll spare you my long story but I know a little about losing someone and having unresolved issues. I'm truly sorry that this happened to your sister and to you and your family.The holidays seem to affect most of us when looking back at someone we have loved especially when it is so fresh. My father died in 1998, my step dad who really raised me died in 1994. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago and sometimes if feels like it just happened. You'll have regrets b/c that's human but you couldn't have stopped her or helped her much. An addict who wont even admit they have a problem couldn't have been helped until she wanted it. I wish I had some truly great words of wisdom. Just know that I feel for you.....not pity just empathy b/c I know the feelings you are having all too well. The best I can do is send a cyberhug and let you know we are here.

 

[S. Lisa Smith]

Venting is good. It is good that you have a place like this where you can vent. KellyB is right, no words of wisdom, just know that there are people here for you.

 

[pinksugar]

I'm really sorry for you loss. I cant even imagine to begin to understand how you feel. Lots of hugs chicken, I'm thinking about you

 

[lummerz]

I'm sorry too! Just like kelly said, we are always going to have regrets because we are only human and it's okay to hurt too. It helps and shapes who we are ....you take the good and the bad...

I give you Mucho (((HUG)))))

I'm thinking about you too!!

 

[Aprill]

i wont hijack, but I have a brother just like that. He has been using Heroin since i was 8 years old and he is deteriorating. I really wish I could do more for him, I tell him whenever i do get a chance to talk to him, that I wish that he would stop and think about what he is doing. He has Hepatitis from sharing the needles, and he has lost so much weight.

I lost my father cause he was a raging alcoholic, which eventually failed his kidneys.

It just seems to me that you can only tell them so much when they have an addiction. As long as you know in your heart that you loved her, that's enough. Trust me as someone that worked in a mental hospital, that watched the same people come back over and over again, people with addictions and mental problems sometimes have to help themselves first. If they don't want help, they cant be helped

 

[Shelley]

I'm sorry about the loss of your sister.

I'm at a loss of what to say to you but you will be in my thoughts and were here for you.

 

[ivette]

i'm sorry for your loss

but like aprill said, people with addictions have to help themselves first

 

[jessiej78]

I am so sorry about this. I have never lost a family member but I do have a few close ones who are addicts, and it is very hard to deal with. I am sending warm thoughts your way that you will be comforted and also that you will not beat yourself up with guilt over this. As the others said, an addict has to want help.

 

[farris2]

I'm so sorry..I have a friend that had a sister pass 3 months ago,same thing...drugs,and they had not seen each other in 7 years. It was something the entire family had been expecting,you know,the phone call? She lived in another state.They still loved her as they knew the person she was before the drugs.She is now resting beside her mother.

 

[Chaela]

Damn that's horrible. I have a cousin who was like my sister that got into drugs and I haven't talked to her since May. I'm terrified that I'm going to get that call. All I can say is that now she's in a better place.

 

[butterflyblue]

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. That is such a young age, and I think when people who have addictions are told they do, they think that everyone else has the problem and that they will be fine.

Trust me, your Sister knows how you feel and probably always did.

 

[AngelaGM]

I am speechless as to what to say to you. But I am sending a hug your way! Please feel free to IM or PM if you need to vent.

 

[puncturedskirt]

You know, ALOT of people keep saying "Now she's in a better place"..How is being 'dead' in a better place?.

Maybe I just don't see it that way because i'm not religious at all. (I'm not trying to sound rude, That's just how i feel about that being said)

 

[empericalbeauty]

I am sorry for your loss. I agree with you about the being in a better place. No one really knows what happens to us when we die, so its a bit presumptuous. But i do sympathize and to some extent empathize because i have experienced loss from drug abuse even though the person did not die but still...

 

[magosienne]

that is horrible. i agree about the better place, i'm not that into religion myself. sadly i don't think you could have done much for her, people can become so different with drug addictions, but i'm sure your sister knew how you really felt about her. *hugs*

 

[puncturedskirt]

Thanks you guys.

 

[joybelle]

So sorry.

(((((HUGS)))))