Warning! New computer viruses

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Jan 20, 2004
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Norton's and McAfee are unable to detect them

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep

looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard

Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just

keep counting and re-counting.

The John Kerry virus - causes the floppy to flip

flop on it's stored memory.

The Bob Dole(aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of

an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of

your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it


The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some

files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive

shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to

re-stabilize around 150 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be


The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but

your processor doesn't care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor


The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive

into a 3.5 inch floppy... then discards it through



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