Why is he so untidy! Aargh!

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jaybe

jaybe

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My friend came round this morning. She went to use the bathroom and my SO had left his used shorts and socks on the bathroom floor! I am so sick of his untidiness. I spend half my life picking up after him.

I always said I would never be like this but if I don't do the cleaning he sure won't. He doesn't even notice if the house is untidy.

We've been living together for 10 years and we argue about this more than anything. He says "I'll try harder" then doesn't. I'm returning to full time work soon so I won't have the time or energy to clean so much. It may sound petty but I told him that if he doesn't stop treating our home like a student flat we could end up splitting up over it.

In all the years we have lived together he has never cleaned the bathroom even when I have been ill. If I didn't wash his clothes I swear he'd just wear them dirty. I work so hard to make the house nice then he comes home and trashes it. It's driving me crazy.

 
Man if he hasnt done it in 10 yrs i think you are out of luck. lol Sorry I dont have any advice on this issue.

 
I would stop cleaning, stop doing his laundry, etc. He is a big boy. Tell him you are going to hire a maid, and that he needs to pitch in money for it!

 
Originally Posted by luxotika /img/forum/go_quote.gif I would stop cleaning, stop doing his laundry, etc. He is a big boy. Tell him you are going to hire a maid, and that he needs to pitch in money for it! He'd be quite happy to pay for a maid. It may come to that but I don't think I'd like a stranger cleaning my house. I don't expect him to do much. He has a stressful job and earns a good wage that he doesn't mind me spending. He's also good at DIY jobs. Am I just making excuses for him now or what? I just wish he'd do the things that normal grown-ups do like hang up his clothes and not leave his stuff all over the house.
When I stopped doing his laundry he took it round to his sisters. She already irons all his clothes for him because I refuse. He even gets her to wash and vacuum his car for him
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Originally Posted by jaybe /img/forum/go_quote.gif He'd be quite happy to pay for a maid. It may come to that but I don't think I'd like a stranger cleaning my house. I don't expect him to do much. He has a stressful job and earns a good wage that he doesn't mind me spending. He's also good at DIY jobs. Am I just making excuses for him now or what? I just wish he'd do the things that normal grown-ups do like hang up his clothes and not leave his stuff all over the house.
When I stopped doing his laundry he took it round to his sisters. She already irons all his clothes for him because I refuse. He even gets her to wash and vacuum his car for him
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Well, you could always get to know the maid before you hire him/her. We hire cleaning ladies to come to our house once a week, they've been with us for years. I have no complaints either.

 
Sounds like he is used to people picking up after him. Its more than likely that his mother did the same thing, and then you picked up from where his mother left off . My brother is turning out that way. I understand how frustrating it gets especially when they person doesnt try to even help in the cleaning process but does 95% of the damage. Chris can be like that sometimes in that he leaves his boxers all over the bathroom floor. Since we dont really live together (I am just over all the time), it doesnt bother me that much. But sometimes it irritates my eyes.

The best thing to do, in my opinion, would be not to clean up after him. Clean up after yourself and then thats it. Also, I think that if you clean up after him when he isnt there, he thinks it magically disappered. he wouldnt know how it came about to be. Of course, he knows you did it, but he doesnt know how much effort you put into it. So next time you are cleaning your house, make him do something. Encourage him to work side by side with you. I hate to say this, because its not really healthy for relationships but sometimes, ultimatums work. So pick something he likes that you both do together and then tell him that if he doesnt join you in cleaning, that activity is either going to stop or the frequency of it's occurence will be reduced.

Hope this helped.

 
Men are like toddlers and need supervision at ALL times Most women don't know this. Get used to it girl it's the way it is
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Originally Posted by empericalbeauty /img/forum/go_quote.gif Also, I think that if you clean up after him when he isnt there, he thinks it magically disappered. he wouldnt know how it came about to be. Of course, he knows you did it, but he doesnt know how much effort you put into it. So next time you are cleaning your house, make him do something. Encourage him to work side by side with you. I hate to say this, because its not really healthy for relationships but sometimes, ultimatums work. So pick something he likes that you both do together and then tell him that if he doesnt join you in cleaning, that activity is either going to stop or the frequency of it's occurence will be reduced.
Hope this helped.

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yeah if only he thought about it long enough to think it magically disappeared. His mind is always somewhere else - thinking about computers, football and work. He always jokes that the laundry fairies have washed and put away his underwear. He will help if I nag him about a million times but I get sick of repeating myself.

Originally Posted by Cosmeticjunkiee /img/forum/go_quote.gif Men are like toddlers and need supervision at ALL times Most women don't know this. Get used to it girl it's the way it is
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I TOTALLY agree. I think they should teach it in schools. Then maybe girls wouldn't be so keen to get hitched. But you always think "My man's not like that." Huh! I hate to say they're all the same but you know....
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I suppose they just see things differently. That's the nice way to put it.
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when i first moved in with my bf i discovered he had a bad habit. he pilled up his nightstand table with food plates and rubbish so much that it was full after one day. i cleaned it but then began getting frustrated! so i told him he wants it that way it will stay that way so it got pilled up with unimaginable junk that sat there for weeks then lately he started realising if i dont wash it he wont find it later when he needs it so he throws the rubbish away and puts the dishes in the sink. finally! thats all the mess my guy makes that i care about.everything else i can clean.

what im saying is you may need to make him see himself its bad to be messy

 
well the funny part is my husband is the total opposite of it. he is a clean freak. you should see his closet

 
my fiance is not untidy!! but he just piles up stuff :-s

his wardrobe.. damn..it was soooooooooooooo messed up!! i spent 4hours cleaning it

and gave him a warning that if its messed up, i will kill him :p /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

that didnt work best =)) ..i mean i came back to my country and then after sometime, i heard he messed itup again..

i made him clean it out!!

i think it will be messed up now!! but i am sure..when i am there..i will make him clean his stuff!! coz if he wants some1 to do it..then hire a maid..i am not a maid...he is grownup..he should pick his own stuff!!

 

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