Would you be upset if your s/o didnt want to sleep with you?

[pinksugar]

hey minds.. the bf and I are similar to your situation, he thought I was a blanket hog and apparently I would chase him across the bed in my sleep trying to hug him and he'd fall out.

You just have to find ways around it - the bf sleeps on the inside now, so he cant fall out.

I know exactly how you feel about feeling lost and alone and everything. I think it sounds very much like he's just not used to it yet, and seriously, going from talking online and on the phone is a massive change from being in each other's beds every night, so I think you just have to allow yourself to feel sad if you want to, you're not crazy or silly or anything, and he isn't thinking less about you, he's just adjusting.

Maybe try to cut down the number of nights you stay there and see if he asks you over more, or just sleep over twice or 3 times until he's more used to everything.

Best of luck chicken, I would be worried if I were you too, but I really dont think theres anything going on, just adjustment issues.

 

[SqueeKee]

Well, Aquilah ran it by John and I ran it by Wes. I figure a man's opinion is prolly worth more than a females in this situation. According to Wes he says "She's not ugly by any means so I don't think her BF is purposely trying to get away from her" LMAO!!!

Also, me and wes did LD for a year and he was weird about sleeping together at first too because he had never slept with anyone before! But now he snuggles like crazy!

It's actually a pretty big adjustement to make, so I say give him time. Just be open about how you feel and ask him to do the same

 

[Shelley]

Mindy,

I think everyone here has given great advice, especially Aquilah and Kee asking the men in their lives for opinions. I can understand you feeling upset, I would have felt the same way. I agree it seems like adjustment issues. I hope everything turns out the best for you! Please keep us updated.

 

[MindySue]

Haha Kee, aww I love your hubbies response lmao guys arent as dumb as they seem

Talked to the bf. I agreed to go home without any fuss and he told me that tomarrow night we could try to sleep in the same bed if I tried to let him have atleast almost half the bed haha

 

[Ricci]

I highly suggest bringing your own blanket trust me.. Me and my boyf sleep with separate ones when we are gonna go to sleep but share when we are feeling frisky

Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif Haha Kee, aww I love your hubbies response lmao guys arent as dumb as they seem

Talked to the bf. I agreed to go home without any fuss and he told me that tomarrow night we could try to sleep in the same bed if I tried to let him have atleast almost half the bed haha

 

[bella1342]

I am a blanket hog... big time. My bf finally got a blanket of his own. A king sized comforter might work for you too!

Mindy, I remember...I think it was Manders.. who wrote in a post to you, that maybe you should play a little hard to get.. I agree with that. I'm not at all talking about playing games.. but maybe like Aquilah said, you should spend a night with your roomates watching movies. Something like that. OR when he asks you to come over once in a while politely decline. You'll be giving him space, but after a week or two you'll notice he wants you around even more than ever.

Enjoy your sleepover tomorrow!

 

[BeneBaby]

Hey Minders...I know I'm a little late to post but I thought I should still give my take.

So....I live with my BF and sometimes he sleeps on the couch. I do like to sleep close to him, and I seriously get my feeling hurt when he crashes on the couch. I will try to drag his ass into bed!! I go through the same emotions you do...asking myself why? Reading into it? Analyzing the situation...

I finally asked him why? He said sometimes he feels like he has to have sex if he comes to bed. Like I pressure him by rubbing against him and stuff....hahahah. That's the first time I've been accused of pressuring the guy for sex. But I had to laugh. Here I am thinking the relationship is over and he just doesn't have stamina that night.

 

[Shanelle]

I don't have any advice for you, but I would be really sad too. Somehow I know exactly how you feel..

 

[CuTeLiCiOuS]

Just get a bigger bed = he pays for half and you pay for half

and get 2 blankies one for you and one for him and you guys can still hug each. You can still touch him and he can still touch you.

I totally can understand how he feels. I am the same way. I like my blankie by myself.

Talk to him about it. How he feels and how you feel.

 

[Andi]

Originally Posted by Jennifer /img/forum/go_quote.gif i kinda know what you're going through.
i'm in a LCD and i've had so many urges to just lay in bed with him and fall asleep more than anything else. every time we're together and spend the night together, we cuddle til it's time to fall asleep. then, we part. i turn my back and he turns his and we're on our own. howeverrrrrr, when i wake up in the middle of the night and his back is towards me, i know this sounds crazy, but i get so sad, like he doesn't care i'm there. i don't know why i think that since i'm the first one to roll away! lol

i really think it's the LCD thing. we go (or in your case, went) through a lot of things and we're easily worried and sensitive to things like this.

good luck and i hope everything works out fine in the end

Jennifer, you totally nailed it with this post. That´s exactly what people in long distance relationships go through!Btw, I´m the same way. Shawn can fall asleep within 1min wherever, but I need longer and I need my space. So I roll away as soon as I sense he´s asleep and feel lonely cause I know it´ll take me like 30min to pass out

 

[MamaRocks]

Yes, It bothers me. My hubby used to stay until all hours of the night and fall asleep on the couch. I used to complain about it and tell him I think it's an important part of intamacy. He never really does anything about it. It hurts, yes =(

 

[MindySue]

Manders I would prob get upset if my bf said that to me as well..even if it was about sex haha. but thats not the reason because when i go to bed I am going to BED. haha.

Oh and I agree about the spending less time together I have been doing that more actually. We spent two whole days apart last weekend/week..(in a row) thats a lot for us so far. It will continue like that too im sure

 

[BeneBaby]

Sounds like you have it under control Minders.

 

[MindySue]

Wellll...we slept together last night. But at like 5 am he got up to say he was to hot in here and went to the living room. It was colder in his room! (and he had blankets on) so when I got up at like 11 and realized it was hotter in the living room. I asked him what the real reason was and he didnt say much but then said 'and you hogged most of the bed' ugh..i woke up like 4 times and made sure I was on my side. I think he is just not used to me taking up some of his sleeping space. I did enjoy the hours we slept together though, and wasnt that unhappy when he left..although a little bit. But I think if he stays with me for a few hours then I will be fine, as long as im asleep when he leaves. I still want him in there all the time though

But I cant win that way so I will comprimise.

 

[Ricci]

So your willing to live with this for another 5 -10 years like that?

Originally Posted by MindySue /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wellll...we slept together last night. But at like 5 am he got up to say he was to hot in here and went to the living room. It was colder in his room! (and he had blankets on) so when I got up at like 11 and realized it was hotter in the living room. I asked him what the real reason was and he didnt say much but then said 'and you hogged most of the bed' ugh..i woke up like 4 times and made sure I was on my side. I think he is just not used to me taking up some of his sleeping space. I did enjoy the hours we slept together though, and wasnt that unhappy when he left..although a little bit. But I think if he stays with me for a few hours then I will be fine, as long as im asleep when he leaves. I still want him in there all the time though

But I cant win that way so I will comprimise.

 

[CellyCell]

Boo Phil, boo.

Well, trust in what he says. I'm like that too, a person's sleeping habits are hard to break. I usually move into the living room when my room gets too stuffy and I sleep alone. When I used to share a bedroom, I wasn't like that... I liked the closeness. So, I think you just have to have patience with yourself and with him because it does take time to change. Like you said, you go to bed to simply go to bed. Snuggle his ass when he's awake - it's better anyways... he's conscious for super head and stuff.

I mean, lady, be grateful that he's within walking distance now... remember the miles you spent apart? Yeah. Not good.

Don't start annoying Phil... remember who his parents are and how much they're worth. HAHA.

 

[MindySue]

Well I think that the love we have is way more worth it, if I would dump him over something like I would regret it..I never want to leave him.

 

[Aquilah]

Okay, I think we should attempt to keep Mindy's concerns as the main issue and leave all drama aside... Thanks!

 

[han]

imo actions speaks louder than words, if he continue to not want to sleep together and insist on haveing space then i would really, really, start to wonder.

 

[Ricci]

Thats what i was trying to say

Originally Posted by han /img/forum/go_quote.gif imo actions speaks louder than words, if he continue to not want to sleep together and insist on haveing space then i would really, really, start to wonder.