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greeneyedangel

Thoughts on this relationship issue?

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Hey everyone I'm looking for advice on my situation. This is my first serious relationship in a long time so any thoughts on the issue are really appreciated!

 

I've been dating my bf for almost a year. He is sweet, attentive, caring, comes to see me all the time, calls me often, introduces me to his friends and his cousins what can i say he is great. The other night I told him I loved him and he looked pretty shocked but hugged me and told me he cared for me very much. He didn't say the i love you in return and i'm not sure if he was too shocked or he doesn't feel it yet or what :( We also haven't met each others families yet, when i question this he told me he is scared to get hurt but cares about me and dosen't plan to leave me. I'm so confused as to what to do. I'm scared to put everything out there only for him to tell me one day he doesn't feel the same. Any suggestions do I continue to be patient with him? Do you think he is feeling insecure of his feelings for me?

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Hello :) Congrats on finding someone you feel so strongly about. Hopefully other members will have some input, my thoughts are not to worry about it too much. If the guy said he was not planning on leaving you anytime, and cares for you very much, then I would take his word on it. I'm not sure of your ages, but having been together for a year and not having met each others families I would not let this bother you too much. Let him say it in his own time, you wouldn't want to force it out of him, just because you said it. It will be more sincere when he says it to you on his own. If you two are happy and things are going well, don't let this be an issue. Good luck on your love :)

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I've been dating someone for about 3 years now.

He told me he loved me long before I said it back to him (easily months).

It's not that I didn't love him it is just that I wasn't ready to say it.

 

In terms of meeting families - take this in stride.

If you are ready to meet his, then go with it. However, if he isn't ready, do not push him.

He will let you know when he is ready to meet your family - now that he knows you would like him to meet them.

 

To be honest, these are subject that one can easily get anxious about.

But the reality is, you must respect his feelings and go at his speed.

Asking for anything more may make him feel pressured - and he may consider it to be an ultimatum of sorts. Which is not what you want him to feel...

 

 

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I can see why you'd be concerned. I'd be a little myself.

But as Katana already pointed out, take it easy. Go at his pace.

 

I was thinking about what he said, he doesn't want to get hurt. I don't know if you've already told him but maybe consider telling him that you won't. That he has nothing to worry about just like yourself. Maybe some reassurance like this will help break the ice?

 

 

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I Never Ever understood why women get so "hurt" Or "concerned" Or start freaking out When they say ILOVE YOU & they dont  say it back I Mean there is no RUle that says you have to Say It back!!! It just makes me wonder If a guy said He loved you & u didnt feel the same Would you really say I love you back?...just to b Nice?  Not everyone gets the same lovey feelings at the exact same time . Im actually proud of your boyfriend for not ssying I Love you back because at least he didnt Lie to you  !! he must really care bout you enough to be honest!!

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There are lots of reasons people don't say "I Love you" easily.  It could have something to do with past relationships and getting badly burned, or it could be he wasn't raised in a house where that was said often.  I know I am the worlds worst about saying "I Love" stuff, like diet coke, makeup, clothes, etc.  Some folks reserve those words for very special occasions.  Bottom line, you have to figure out a way to communicate your thoughts on the subject with him without putting pressure on him.  Your the only one who can figure that out because no one knows him the way you do.  You'll figure it out when the time is right.

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All of these girls make very valid points, I can emphasize as I am in a similar relationship and past what point you guys are now at myself.

 

My SO has serious parental issues and I don't agree with how he handles it but since we met he has come along way because I waited and didn't pressure him commitment wise and after 2 years I still dont'. I know he would have ran like streak of shit if I had. Now every time he says it I know whole heartedly that he means it.

 

I had been in a long relationship prior to that where those words meant nothing and finding that out in the end was far worse than waiting for it to come out at all.

 

I totally understand how'd you be questioning allot after that but males and females have very different perspectives in relationships as well and I know I will never understand this myself.If you think it's something worth waiting for then do so and if you can't let it go you'll have to move on

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this actually relates to a situation i had with one of my ex. we were together for a few months and everything was great, he was great, i had an abundant of unspeakable feelings for him. He told me he loved me after a few months, even though i thought he was the most amazing guy I've always wanted I didnt' say it back because I wanted to take it slow. Confounding factors be that i was young and he was the first person who ever told me that. Nonetheless he'd tell me he loves me everyday and I'd give him a kiss or a hug and he was ok with it. This went on for a few months, i was never insecure about my feelings for him though.

 

Meeting families is tricky. My guys all rattled on about meeting my family, though i'm the one who puts off family meetings. I get freaked out when it comes to meeting the guy's family.. so in turn i don't want him to meet mine either. Even though i have a really good bond with both my parents. It just took me a while to initiate. I wish you all the best lovely!

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