I wish my parents were more supportive of my decision to try and control my weight.

I live with my parents and it is so stressful. I really wish I could move out, get my own place and live my own life but it is just not possible for me at this time. I simply cannot afford to do it. But I'm pretty sure I would do it at the drop of a hat if I was able to. I don't like living with my parents, I seriously don't. Adults who live with their parents are often called "rent avoiders" and other nasty, judgmental things. People always try to make it sound like we live with our parents by choice, but the truth of the matter is we don't. We live with our parents because we have no choice and simply cannot afford any alternative.

  I'm sure there would always be problems and things to stress me out in my own place too, but at least I would be more free to live my life the way I want to live it and to make my own decisions.

  Sorry for the long ramble, but I'm just feeling a little stressed out and I need to vent lol. I get like that sometimes. It probably happens a lot to most people who have to live with their parents. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

  There are probably a lot of things I could witch about, but one thing I'm taking issue with specifically at the moment is how my parents are really not that supportive of my decision to try and take control of my weight issues. You see, like a lot of people I have a very sedentary job. I spend a lot of time just sitting on my butt. Now, for most of my life I haven't had what I would call a real weight problem. My weight always hovered around the same number regardless of what I ate or what I did. I always considered myself a little lucky that way. Then, I got this job I have now and since I got it my weight went up significantly. Okay, I'll admit it wasn't just the sedentary job. It was a combination of both the sedentary job and the fact that one of my relatives always wants to go out and have lunch with me all the time, and she isn't very careful about she eats either. Actually, she eats a lot of junk and forces some of that junk on me too. Now..these things wouldn't be so bad and wouldn't bother me so much if my weight hadn't gone up as much as it did. It really shot up a lot and I didn't even realize it. The first time I stood on my scale and saw the unusually high number I thought my scale must be broken. I completely denied my weight for a while. Then..finally I couldn't anymore. Both my dad and my brother went to the doctor for physicals, were weighed by the doctor, came home and found out the number on the scale there was the same as the number our scale said. Our scale is perfectly accurate. (Of course.) Finally, I said to my mom that our scale must be wrong and she almost sort of rolled her eyes at me and said that I actually looked like I weighed the number our scale read. She also said, "couldn't you tell by how your clothes fit??" I said no, but I realize now that I was even in denial about that. Many of my clothes still fit me, but I owned at least a couple of things I wasn't able to wear anymore. My dad tried to tell me my weight was normal and I was right in the middle of my medically recommended weight range. I have no idea what he was looking at or if he was just lying when he said that. I checked my BMI on a calculator online and it told me I was overweight. Not obese, but my BMI was at least 25. I was just devastated. I know that probably sounds overly dramatic, but it seriously bothered me a lot. I had not intended to put on that much weight, and I felt angry with myself and with my parents for the fact that it had happened. Maybe it's somewhat unfair to blame my parents, but my mom even said she could tell how much weight I'd gained and she never said anything to me! But I guess maybe I just should have been more careful? Anyway, I'd managed to lose at least ten pounds just by cutting back on what I was eating, and at first that made me happy. But my weight was still higher than what it used to be, and I seemed unable to lose any more. I was just too sedentary from my job, and probably always eating out still wasn't helping either. Then I made a new discovery! Just by chance, I went with my brother to a specialty tea store one day at the mall because he wanted to buy some loose leaf tea. I happened to start looking at all the teas too, and then just bought a canister of some (purely by chance.) I really enjoyed my tea, and began to drink it on a fairly regular basis...then one day I stood on our scale to check my weight again..it finally dropped lower! I hadn't really done much that was very different aside from drinking the tea. It dawned on me that drinking tea actually really can help with weight issues. Well, after I made that little discovery I've been drinking lots of my tea on a regular basis. Okay, not really "lots" in my opinion. Just a few cups a day (normally no more than four) which I still think is in moderation and not really a crazy amount of tea lol! However, my dad made a comment about it tonight which bothered me. He had tasted my tea once and said he liked it and said that he wanted me to make him tea as well whenever I made some for myself. So..I made him a cup of tea tonight when I had some too. And he said, "wow, you're really on some kind of a kick lately, aren't you? You're really drinking a lot of tea." I probably should grow a thicker skin and not be so sensitive, but I really felt a little put out by his comment. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if he had only just said that, but then he started talking about thin people and putting them down. He sort of alluded to a guy that he knows (and who I'm also acquainted with) who always looks very thin. It's entirely possible that this man might be within his medically recommended weight range and may just be at the lower end, or may be lower end approaching the middle. He is very, very tall so excess weight wouldn't show up on him a lot anyway. (He's over six feet tall.) But my dad insists that this guy has to be severely underweight. maybe he is too, I don't know. He does look pretty thin. In any case even if he is that's his own business. But, my dad made some dumb comment about that guy, and if he would approve of how much tea I drink. It may have only been meant in jest, but it kind of bothered me too. It was one of those comments that only escalates a tense situation into even worse levels. The man my dad was talking about is well over six feet tall and male. Men burn fat more efficiently than women do, and tall people often carry their weight well anyway. Also, this guy looks like he has never been overweight in his life. I could be wrong about that, but I suspect I'm not. In any case, I think it was very wrong for my dad to compare me to him. I'm a woman, and I'm only 5'4". And obviously, I have a natural predisposition to gaining weight. I have to work a lot harder to lose weight than to gain it. The guy in question doesn't seem to be like that at all. I also suspect I don't have the personality type he has. I resent being compared to him, especially since I know my dad didn't mean it in a nice, cute way or anything like that. After making that comment he went off on a tangent about how much he dislikes thin people, and how he doesn't trust them. It was actually a little bit of an ugly conversation. His comments disturbed me somewhat. Now, I will admit that my father is also overweight. (Or at least overweight. Now that I know what overweight on the BMI scale looks like, I think my father may even be obese.) So..it's entirely possible that his ugly comments about thin people may purely be based on feelings of jealousy. But,  I still find it very odd that he would feel so strongly that way! My mother is very slim and doesn't gain weight easily at all. She was underweight when he met her and has often been underweight much of her life. (Actually in all fairness she may have not been underweight. She may have simply been at the lower end of her recommended weight range. She is only 5'3" and very small boned like I am, so she look naturally very small.) In any case..my dad obviously likes skinny women and is kind of full of crap.

  But, whatever the reasons for his comments I have to say that it just sort of bothers me that he's not very supportive of my decision to try and take control of my weight! I was unhappy with being overweight, and I'm not sure if he understands that. I could try and explain it to him but I don't think he was going to listen. He was making comments like, "being thin is okay is you live in a concentration camp." which I found very hurtful. I don't even know why he was saying that. I haven't lost a ton of weight, I just want to regulate my weight and be healthy. I wish he would understand and be nice and supportive instead of making nasty, stinging comments. I don't know, I'm just stressed out. :/

You say you want to lose weight and be healthy. Well... you definitely need a change in your lifestyle.

Some things I can think of on top of my head...thing I always do

1) drive less, or don't drive at all, and walk everywhere

2) exercise routine I use http://www.mightygrasshopper.com/2010/08/mighty-fit-grasshopper-reveals-ultimate.html

3) join a gym. it's only 20 bucks a month. worth more than having a cellphone... or go running outside.

4) ride a bike outside, go hiking...do outdoor activities

5) eat junk food once a week / eat out once a week...or cut it out altogether

One problem in most American cities is portion size.

Whenever I visit Seattle I am SHOCKED at how big everything is. and CHEAP compared to what I have to pay at home.

So, control your portions, avoid eating out, avoid buying packaged foods.

and also how BIG Americans are becoming along with the portion sizes.  

If you really want to lose the weight despite what your family is saying, just ignore them.  Nod at what they say and continue living the way you've chosen.  You don't need to justify your actions, nor do you have to make them agree.  Just do what you think is going to get you to a healthy weight.  

Also, shop on the outer perimeters of a grocery store.  Thats where all the basic food products are located - meat, dairy, produce etc. All the processed stuffs are in the long long aisles. 

Originally Posted by musingmuse /img/forum/go_quote.gif

You say you want to lose weight and be healthy. Well... you definitely need a change in your lifestyle.

Some things I can think of on top of my head...thing I always do

1) drive less, or don't drive at all, and walk everywhere

2) exercise routine I use http://www.mightygrasshopper.com/2010/08/mighty-fit-grasshopper-reveals-ultimate.html

3) join a gym. it's only 20 bucks a month. worth more than having a cellphone... or go running outside.

4) ride a bike outside, go hiking...do outdoor activities

5) eat junk food once a week / eat out once a week...or cut it out altogether

One problem in most American cities is portion size.

Whenever I visit Seattle I am SHOCKED at how big everything is. and CHEAP compared to what I have to pay at home.

So, control your portions, avoid eating out, avoid buying packaged foods.

Click to expand...

Stop being such a rent dodger, lol jk. But you should really join a gym. You meet lots of great people and just being around fit people will help you change bad habits. Never eat until your full and chomp on a lot of greens. Also take a good multivitamin, not that one a day crap.