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natasha_roy29

My younger sister feels she's ugly?

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She has a lot of insecurity towards her looks. Has been suffering from low self esteem , has 0 confidence and has faced a very rough time in the last 4 years. And nowadays she keeps saying she's ugly and nobody will like her.

Whenever she sees other hot looking girls, she gets even more insecure, saying things like how I wish I I looked like her. 

She likes a guy who has always liked women who looked really glamorous. She feels she's ugly and he won't look at her. She has such a weird problem in showing her face to people on social sites that she won't post her original photos on socials. 

She is always like "I have a dull face and I want to change my face and looks to look pretty". Surgery is not acceptable to me or our parents since it's not good and I want her to retain her natural look and not undergo the knife to look like a plastic doll. Plus, surgery has its side effects so I want to boost her self esteem and stuff.

These are her pictures. The first set of photos are with makeup and the second set is without makeup, just kohl lined eyes. By the way she is 24. 

Edited by natasha_roy29
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I feel like that a lot too. Especially when I see girls I feel look better than me. I'm sure she's beautiful, but I don't see any pictures. Just keep working with her and building her self-esteem and confidence.

 

If you want, try and post the pics again.

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I don't see the pictures either; but it doesn't matter since her feelings aren't connected to her actual appearance.  People get self-confidence by doing something well and having at least one friend or relative who thinks you are great!

 

At 24 she can also get some therapy.  A social worker is qualified to hear her story and give her some practical advice.  She should check to see what her insurance covers.  I love therapy which means someone listens to ME and is quiet the whole time.  It's wonderful.

 

I can't tell if the guy with glamorous girlfriends is well-adjusted or not.  Sometimes the people we admire from afar turn out not to be as ideal as we imagined.  Maybe he lacks self confidence himself and seeks out women who will boost his ego. 

 

As for your sister, she can get her hair styled at the best salon in your area and maintain it.  She can shop with somebody good at fashion and styling.  That could be a salesperson.  She should save some money and spend it on clothes and accessories.  I don't mean expensive.  When you know what is flattering you can pick from a thrift shop and look nice.

 

Then it's time for her to look for friends:  men who aren't attractive to her and other women.  Having men as friends will help her to meet other men who may be her type.  It's good practice to socialize with people in a non-dating situation to build her self image as a likeable woman with friends and social skills.

 

Good luck to you and your sister.

Edited by artifice

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I can remember going through the motions similar to your sister when I was in my late teens early 20's. I think its natural to have self doubt as a female but when it takes control of your life and starts to seriously damage your happiness something has got to give. When I feel low, I exercise now I'm not claiming to be a Sporty Spice but I can manage 20 minutes on a the treadmill and enjoy a slight jog along Brighton seafront every now an then. The natural endorphin's that are released from exercise are the best natural cure you can get. 

 

Rather than dedicating all of her time and emotions on finding the perfect partner, she really needs to focus on number one, herself. Self love is so important, especially for us females. Maybe you two could get into a routine of a little exercise a week to bring a little spark back into her everyday! When we feel happy we are far more likely to treat ourselves to new goodies such as make up and clothes and all for the right reasons! 

Edited by MartinNathalie9

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