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A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her.

"I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman. "It depends how personal it is."

"OK," the guy said. "How many men have you slept with?"

"I'm not going to tell you that!" the woman exclaimed. "That's my business!"

"Sorry," said the guy, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it."





In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.


The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".

"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously mPosted ImagesturbPosted Imageting.


Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"

Bob says, "I'm gettin' it on with Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"



Man: You are awfully flat chested, but you've got a tight pu$$y.

Woman: Get off my back



Little Johnny was sitting on the curb, crushing ants with his finger and saying "God Damn ants"

Father Brown was walking by and saw Little Johnny. He said "Little Johnny you should not be doing that, the good lord has put everything on this earth for a purpose."

"No that is not true Father," replied Little Johnny.

"Well can you tell me three things that have no purpose?" replied the Father.

Little Johnny said "Yes Father. The t|ts on a the balls on a priest; and these Damn ants."



A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

He says, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have Posted Imagenal $ex with a nun."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin, and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."





Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened

to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they

planned to do with the ashes.


The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and

scatter his ashes in the sky."


The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter

his ashes in our favorite lake."


The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to

dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more






Miss Universe's last Question


Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.


Question: How can you say so?


Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman........


(Applause! Applause!)




Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or

Toro (Bull)


Question: How can you say so?


Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.


Applause! Applause!)




Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your



Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like

gossip or rumors.


Question: How can you say so?


Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.


(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)





Quest! ion: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.


Question: How can you say so?


Ms India: Because it works day and night......


(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)




Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?


Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton



Question: How can you say so?


Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.


(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)




Question: Ms Chittagong, how do you describe a male organ in Chatgaon?


Ms Chittagong: Well, I can say that male organs in Chatgaon are like thieves.


Question: How can you say so?


Ms Chittagong: Because they like to enter through the back door.


(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! >Applause!)

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