Friend Dilemma-- what do I say?

Well Friday night a friend of mines wanted me to go out with her and her younger sistas. Well, I usually don't go out so I figured it would be cool to hang out once in awhile. However, I got a big surprise...

First off, the orginal plan was to go out for dinner, but that changed and we ended up just driving around the city along with stopping at a few Wal-marts and the mall.

Secondly, it has been freezing down here in alabama and girlfriend showed up in a bra (along with a tiny jacket that showed her belly ring), skinny jeans and heels.

Thirdly, her younger sistas were a complete embarrasment to me. They were dancing wildly and going up to every guy in sight asking them for their numbers and even pinching their butts! I stood at a distance away from my friend's sibs, but was just shocked at their behavior and the fact that my friedn was allowing this to happen.

I really felt "out of place" and never want to do that again, but I love my friend and I could tell that she had troubl relating to me becuase thats how she acts around her fam. How do I deal? I mean, not only was her apparel "disrespectful" but her sistas behavior almost got us banned from one of the Walmarts.

How do you think I can tell my friend that I don't agree with her dressing or is that in my place to tell her that? and do I tell her at all that I was embarassed to be around her and her sistas friday night??

I'm about being honest, so if she were my friend I might say something like:

"I wasn't very comfortable with your sisters' behaviour. You could tell I wasn't enjoying myself.

I consider you a great friend so how about the next time we go out - no more kid sisters taggin along.

This way, we can go out and do the things that we like to do."

With regard to her attire:

This can get really touchy. If the two of you are going out to eat, double check with what she's going to wear. Then same something like "I really liked the red sweater you wore at such and such - really brought out the green in your eyes."

Or similar. This way you are not giving critiscm but a nice reason to wear something more flattering.

Hope I've Helped

If your friendship is strong just be open with her. Its easier said then done i knw.

I think honest straight simple to the point type conversation is good.

Or you culd always check in advance if her sisters will be there, ask what she is wearing make other suggestions but i don't know i think that seems to be the long way around the problem which may still happen again in future if she isn't informed how you feel about it all.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm about being honest, so if she were my friend I might say something like:"I wasn't very comfortable with your sisters' behaviour. You could tell I wasn't enjoying myself.

I consider you a great friend so how about the next time we go out - no more kid sisters taggin along.

This way, we can go out and do the things that we like to do."

With regard to her attire:

This can get really touchy. If the two of you are going out to eat, double check with what she's going to wear. Then same something like "I really liked the red sweater you wore at such and such - really brought out the green in your eyes."

Or similar. This way you are not giving critiscm but a nice reason to wear something more flattering.

Hope I've Helped

Absolutely the right advice!!!

I agree with Carolyn. You don't want to seem like you're telling her what she can't wear when she's with you but if you make other suggestions she might go for it.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm about being honest, so if she were my friend I might say something like:"I wasn't very comfortable with your sisters' behaviour. You could tell I wasn't enjoying myself.

I consider you a great friend so how about the next time we go out - no more kid sisters taggin along.

This way, we can go out and do the things that we like to do."

With regard to her attire:

This can get really touchy. If the two of you are going out to eat, double check with what she's going to wear. Then same something like "I really liked the red sweater you wore at such and such - really brought out the green in your eyes."

Or similar. This way you are not giving critiscm but a nice reason to wear something more flattering.

Hope I've Helped

I agree.

No doubt about it that sounds like the right advice. wish things were so straight forward for me

I kinda learned that you have to say what you feel. I hate it when I deside to keep my mouth shut because next friday you'll be going out and she'll bring her sisters just because you didnt say anything the last time you went out with them! dont go off or anything. I usually go with "you know my brother totally got me kicked out of target because he was screaming his head off over a stupid camera he wanted. How do you deal with your sisters?" If she gives you an answer thats along the lines of my sisters are angels and never would do anything like that . . . then it might be harder to tell her.

As for her attire. I kinda open a friends eyes to what she was wearing. I knew she would completely blow her top if I told her. So I did what I thought was right but some people might think it was mean . . . I started taking her out to places where her attire was innapropriate. Then she came to me about advice and that way it wasnt me telling her she didnt know how to dress.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm about being honest, so if she were my friend I might say something like:"I wasn't very comfortable with your sisters' behaviour. You could tell I wasn't enjoying myself.

I consider you a great friend so how about the next time we go out - no more kid sisters taggin along.

This way, we can go out and do the things that we like to do."

With regard to her attire:

This can get really touchy. If the two of you are going out to eat, double check with what she's going to wear. Then same something like "I really liked the red sweater you wore at such and such - really brought out the green in your eyes."

Or similar. This way you are not giving critiscm but a nice reason to wear something more flattering.

Hope I've Helped

This is very good advice! Thanks girls for looking out! I'll give you an update when I finally talk to her

Was it at least a pretty bra? But really, as some of the others have said, if she is your friend, then you should be able to be honest and up front with her. I have never told a friend what to wear or not to wear, but if asked I would give my honest opinion. And your friend will most likely appreciate that you care enought to let her know if you think she is making a bad judgement call. And, if she disagrees with you, then she is still your friend, and you should still be her friend.