Have you ever felt shallow or superficial?

Last week I was totally out of it.  I have so many plans for both my short and long term future and I just feel as though it's not taking off.  I truly believe that all things happen for a reason and a very good cause, but sometimes I forget and I fall into the woe is me trap.  I was totally upset last week.  I cut myself off from everyone because I just could not bare to hear all the talks on who is getting a great new job or who is getting married or who is going on a fancy trip or who is sending me pics of their brand spanking new house.  I just could not take it, because in my mind, I was being left behind.  I had nothing.

Many people watch me from the outside and assume that I have this 'easy-ish' life cus I have no kids, live at home, have an ok paying job etc, but at times, when I sit and think of where I want to be and how I'm not getting there how I want to, I get down.  When that happens, I stress about all the most RIDICULOUS things you can think about.  All the high end makeup I can't afford, all the fancy shoes and clothes I want but can't bring myself to get, all the 'finer' things in life I seem to not be having.  Things that just make no sense.

Today, one of my friends said he was going on vacation and travelling and I felt bad again.  Like, this is what I want to do.  I want to travel, do things....see places.  But then, one of my best friends called me, the mother of my God child, and she let loose on me all of her burdens and worries and fears for her life.  She has a temporary contract job that is paying very little, she has a child to care for on her own, her family is the WORST, her own enemy, not supportive at all.  She called out her budget for me today and I asked myself how she survived.  While I am here worrying why I have to settle for Sinful Colours instead of Essie or why I am envious of my friends who can afford to go out for drinks every single weekend, she is wondering how she is going pay for her child's drama classes or her driver. 

I felt ashamed of myself. I still feel very ashamed.  I know everyone has their own story and their own problems, but when I look at hers compared to mine, I feel so shallow and superficial.  I can't wait to see her.  I know we are both going to cry our lives out because when we talk about our problems with each other, we just happen to do that.  I'm just still feeling so bad, not only about my shallowness but the fact that I'm in no position to help her. 

Im going to PM you.

ok /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I think its hearing stories like your friend's when you get to count your blessings.  I don't think you are living a shallow life but it may be more fullfilling to you if maybe you can help your friend in need even just to spend some time with her.  To be honest... I don't think her family is starving if her dilemma is about drama classes.  There are people with dilemmas where they either choose food or rent for the month.  

You Seriously just need to Relax  And Not Let life Get to you because It could Ruin your Whole Well being ....SERIOUSLY!!!

Quick Update on me For Instance.  I recently moved in with my On again off Again B.F (FAther of my kids)  To only find out after 7 yrs of being together & ! yr of living together Just when things are super great & seem to be getting better   I find out He May have a kid somewhere in AZ  With his Ex-G.F  & This kid is around the same age as my son LOng Story short, After arguments & put downs by His Parents (aaah) I was forced to 2 weeks in a Hotel with my 2 toddlers  Who constantly asked to "go HOme"  Crying my eyes out because I know deep down We no longer have a home   We now have to temporarily live with my aunts (more craziness) & I am working more than ever & Saving like crazy ..............Trust me I want to give up at times (I cant afford that tho) but You just gotta keep your head up & be Happy No need to feel jealous For what others Have  Or What you dont have Because than youll just be Bitter & that is not a good way to be.      But I must Say How HAppy I was to see that you Checked yourself   at least you didnt stay arguing over whos life is worse...lol  Just keep your eye on the Goal whatever it is & Youll get there /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />..................& so will I!!!!

I go through the exact same thing all the time! So you are not alone. I feel the same way you do. I am definately not where I want to be right now. I remember thinking 5 years ago about where I would be in 5 years, so many grand dreams so many cool things i wanted to do. Although I don't have kids either (ALL my friends do now) and I have a really crappy job (drama that will bring you to tears) I am still in out and hopeful. But I do not feel shallow or superficial. I have a list packed with TONS of things I would love to buy, clothes, makeup, jewelery. And yes a lot of the time thinking about not having it, makes me really unhappy. Or how my 12 year old cousin got to travel to England, and here I am twice her age and don't even have a passport. I hear ya. I don't think wanting to travel, having nice things, a good job is superficial or shallow. Everyone wants a good life and even though your problems are not as huge or as significant as others, you still have problems and they are important to you. We all have problems but different kinds. So yeah I might not have screaming babies driving me crazy, but I have debt up to my eyelashes and a job I absolutley despise. Not a day goes by where I feel like walking out of the office with my middle finger displayed. I feel miserable living with no money, living in a stupid town, etc. etc.

BUT. Instead of wallowing in the pit of despair, which oftentimes I do, it really gets you nowhere. I have been trying really hard to be more positive and start making small changes to better my life, like trying to find a new job and saving money. I really think that we have more control of our lives than we think, and its all a matter of action. Once you start doing things, it kinda starts this flow that can't be stopped, you just need to keep the momentum going. If you want to travel, start saving money, find a bunch of friends who might split the cost of rooms etc. If you want to buy more things, try finding something that can make you a little extra money on the side. There are a lot of options out there to get a better life, it isn't always easy but stick with it and try. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I feel the same way all the time and I really just want to focus changing rather than dwelling on the things I don't have and the life I don't have. Hope this helps you in someway. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />