Another Frustration

[Darla]

Adrienne I've always thought a lot of you. You are smart to want to get yourself better educated and better prepared for a job.

I'm sorry your husband doesn't see the value of it. My guess is that as you get better educated and make more money he is thinking that you will be too good for him and he doesn't want it. (And who knows that might be the case already!)

Hang in there!

 

[Maysie]

I think you should definitely follow your dream of going back to school. There's this girl I work with who's a single mother with 2 little kids, and she goes to school while working full time. I talked with her a bit about her schooling today, and yeah she said its hard, but its doable. You can do it, and I have a feeling that your husband will warm up to the idea, as everyone else mentioned. It could be that he's jealous of your motivation? but once he sees the positive impact that this decision will have on yalls lives, he may even decide to go back himself one day.

 

[Adrienne]

Thanks everyone for your supportive comments. I've already set up an appointment with admissions for this thursday

. I'm so excited!!

 

[Sonia_K]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thanks everyone for your supportive comments. I've already set up an appointment with admissions for this thursday

. I'm so excited!! Good for you. There are some things you just need to do for yourself and this would be one of them. I also know how you feel with the frustration with your husband, it would be nice if he gave you his support and encourgement, but I am sure he will come around eventually, once he realizes how strongly you feel about this.
Good Luck, Hun.

 

[Chaeli]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thanks everyone for your supportive comments. I've already set up an appointment with admissions for this thursday

. I'm so excited!!

YAY!!! You go you!!! You're on your way. Now just follow your dream!

 

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thanks everyone for your supportive comments. I've already set up an appointment with admissions for this thursday

. I'm so excited!! brilliant news! sorry, i was away in london when this thread started, i didn't get to put my bit in but i think the other girls have pretty much done it for me!
it's a great idea to go back to school, get as many qualifications as you need. i've always thought you were a smart girl, stuff like having a baby or getting married young should not stand in the way of anyone having access to an education. young or old, everyone learns and everyone has the RIGHT to learn. your husband will just have to come around to accept it- like carolyn said, in the worst case scenario you wouldn't be able to support your son. what you're doing is not a selfish thing- it's for your family as well and eventually he will see that.

good luck!

 

[Adrienne]

*ARRGH*

I have decided to enroll in a closer college right down the road from my job as oppose to driving 50 minutes away to another school. I probably won't be able to start til next semester but I don't care: I'm stepping thru the door.

I told my husband and he had to nerve to say that if it's not online then I can't do it and that I'll have all the privacy at home to do so. He told me books are expensive after he talked to a friend of ours (she's starting school this fall) and that we can't afford it. YET, he want's to get a newer car to replace his this month coming up. So wasting a little over ten grand on a car is a good investment but not this:

SCC Tuition and Fees:

Fall 2009 - Summer 2010

Full-time Students (12 or more credit hours)

Spartanburg & Cherokee County Residents: $1,697 Per Semester

Out-of-County Residents: $2,121 Per Semester

Out-of-State Residents: $3,578 Per Semester

Out-of-Country or International Residents: $3,578 Per Semester

Part-time Students (less than 12 credit hours)

Spartanburg & Cherokee County Residents: $142 Per Credit Hour

Out-of-County Residents: $177 Per Credit Hour

Out-of-State Residents: $299 Per Credit Hour

Out-of-Country or International Residents: $299 Per Credit Hour

Enrollment Fee (all students) is $20 per semester.

And I can actually afford this even without financial aid!!! I swear, I feel like I have two children most of the time. I've supported him thru job changes that were huge risks, some failures and encouraged him even when I had big doubts. He forbid me from getting any loans for school. I told him straight up that I'm doing this with or without his support, end of discussion. I'm sick and tired of sitting back to make him comfortable all these years when I know that I'm smarter than that. I'm not happy where I'm at and he doesn't want to follow me to where I am happy, then so be it. At least I know and that's all that matters.

 

[Chaeli]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif *ARRGH*
I have decided to enroll in a closer college right down the road from my job as oppose to driving 50 minutes away to another school. I probably won't be able to start til next semester but I don't care: I'm stepping thru the door.

And I can actually afford this even without financial aid!!!

The two key factors. It's close and affordable. Just do it. Whatever regrets you have now will soon become worth whiled sacrifices that have a tremendous payoff for you and your family. You don't need anyones permission. Their support would be nice and make it much easier on you and those concerned but your success basically is based on you and your own ambitions and you do seem to be ambitious.

 

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by Adrienne /img/forum/go_quote.gif And I can actually afford this even without financial aid!!! I swear, I feel like I have two children most of the time. I've supported him thru job changes that were huge risks, some failures and encouraged him even when I had big doubts. He forbid me from getting any loans for school. I told him straight up that I'm doing this with or without his support, end of discussion. I'm sick and tired of sitting back to make him comfortable all these years when I know that I'm smarter than that. I'm not happy where I'm at and he doesn't want to follow me to where I am happy, then so be it. At least I know and that's all that matters. good. i'm glad you're strong enough to not be swayed by his opinion. i think you're doing a really good thing, what is it you'll be studying?

 

[Darla]

Adrienne you can do it. Hope it all works out. as far as books there are more resources available now. some used books are on ebay. some are even scanned and the internet (not legal but free) good luck

 

[dontcryjudy]

i am in the same boat as you. i registered for fall and my first day is saturday. i hope you will be starting this semester. you can do a late add, don't worry. i think men, sometimes, don't know know the right things to say or how to be supportive. i had the same problem where my hubby wasn't saying what i needed him to say. turns out he just told me i didn't need to go to school because he thought i felt inadequate. i told him i have goals for myself and would like to see them through. now, he supports whatever i want to do and we talk about our goals/plans.

 

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Lucy /img/forum/go_quote.gif good. i'm glad you're strong enough to not be swayed by his opinion. i think you're doing a really good thing, what is it you'll be studying? I will hopefully be able to study towards an associate in nursing so I can be a registered nurse. They're in huge demand in my area.
I went today to the college and got accepted. I could've started this semester but I opted to start in january so I wouldn't have to catch up and be so far behind. Plus, that'll give me time to save up some funds for what I will have to pay for.

Luckily, me and my husband had a huge very serious discussion. He knows this is not up for debate and understands that I will not be stopped from going by him in anyway and nor will he make me feel bad ab it. My suspicions were confirmed in that his insecurities are once again getting in the way. He feels that once I get ahead I'll leave him for someone "better." I reassured him and basically told him he'd just have to get over it.

 

[magosienne]

That's great news !

 

[Dalylah]

I am happy you talked it out and went and applied anyways. All humans have insecurities and it's better that he is explaining to you that it is the reason why he is acting the way he is than for him to just let you think he is unsupportive. I am sure once he gets used to the idea and the potential new income afterward he will be all for it. Enjoy!

 

[Killah Kitty]

I'm sorry I missed out on this but it looks like it turned out very well for you.

Congratulations on going to become a nurse... that is an in demand job in a lot of places and nurses make good money (here in Canada)...

I applaude you for continuing your education and being strong to go through with it even when your husband was being difficult. I kind of feel like you do. I want to continue my education as well and my BF is having a hard time getting his head around it as well... for the same reason lol... insecurities. It's good that you two talked it out.

I think maybe in the end if you have some one that loves you a lot, it depends on their personality, but they may just be afraid that they'll lose you. I've noticed that deep down a lot of men are more sensitive than women some times.

I even had a similiar issue when I started working. Prior to that my BF and I would spend day after day just lounging and being together... but when I started working it was like he was having seperation anxiety. He got used to it though... and in the end it was the best for both of us. I motivated him to get a job as well

So again congratulations to you... I wish you the best

He will realize that this is the best for you and him and your family and he will come around I'm sure.

 

[pinksugar]

that's great news, I think it's really admirable you're doing want you want and need to do, in order to be where you want to be.

you know what they say though, men grow older but they never grow up!