At what age did you start having children?

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Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :)

 
Thank you for that story.  I'm glad it worked out for you.  It usually does when you have a goal to be a good parent and work towards that goal. 
 

Originally Posted by afkhanadan /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :)


 
Thank you so much!  Things really do have a way of working out.  I'm glad it did for you :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Originally Posted by afkhanadan /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :)


 
I first got married at 21 years old, and a year later at 22 I had my daughter, Layla (who is 5 months), and I am currently 2 weeks pregnant (I am 23 right now). But I say over 21 is OK. 

 
i got my first child after 28yrs. now the child is about 2yrs...Am hoping to get two other kids before i reach menopause age...i hate going back to diaper changing when i am working on something else.

 
I am 33 and I still do not have any kids. I am actually happy that I have waited because I have gotten a chance to really enjoy life and have a whole lot of fun. By the time I have one no more than two I will be ready to invest all of my time into my kids and will not have that feeling of have missed out on life. I will be more than ready to settle down with them. I am thinking sometimes next year i would like to start a family.

 
I'm 26 and my partners 37. We have spoke about children and I even went through a few months were I thought it was a good idea but we honestly have not really decided. The idea scares the living daylights out of me if i'm honest.

Also our living/financial situation just isnt right. My partner has been the only one working the last year. A week on Wednesday we are moving to London which is about 250 miles away from where we have both grown up.

We need time to settle, me to get a job and we want to get married next year. We also like having holidays and weekends away.

Im happy with the idea our first child (if any) probably wont come along till im in my 30's and my partner in his 40's.

 
I had my daughter way to early. I had her a few months before my 20th birthday. She was a big surprise! I definitely wasn't want anything children, ever. But now that she's here I wouldn't change anything. That being said I'm definitely waiting before we (my fiance & i) decide to have another one.

 
I am 26 right now and pregnant with my first child. My fiance is 39. We have lived together for over 8 years, and been engaged for 16 months.

I would not have been ready at an earlier age.

My younger sister had her baby 3.5 months ago and she is 24. It was/is hard on her and her relationship never was as stable as it should have been.

Her pregnancy was unplanned and has caused a lot of stress between her boyfriend and herself.

My parents would have preferred she waited until she was at least engaged and living with someone, if not married before she got pregnant, but it is what it is, and her baby is welcomed and very loved by all.

She has since gotten an implant birth control that is good for 5 years.

 
I am 20 AND quite a broody person; however I am waiting until at least 22-23 to even consider it; and that depends on money, housing, relationship etc. I would like to have them fairly young but I wouldn't mind being a bit older (28-30) if I had to. I guess we'll see!

 
I have two children. My husband and I were married at 26 and 25, respectively. We were blessed with our son when I was 28, and our daughter a month after I turned 30. For us this was the "right" time. We got to spend 4 years as a child free couple, then progressed together as parents. I feel blessed as I was told, due to medical issues I may never have children. Three months after I accepted that we would be childless, I became pregnant! I knew at a young age that I wanted to be a mother. My sister on the other hand decided at a young age to never have children. Though I would love to be an auntie, I respect her decision. Being a parent is the most frightening and beautiful experience in this world. There is no "right" time to have children, as you only have so much control in the process. Choosing to be a good parent is the only thing within your control.

 
I think at a certain point, it's less about age and more about how prepared you are; having a kid in your late 20's when you're studying to get your MD is totally different from being a stay-at-home mom in her late 20's with a kid. I knew a girl whose mom had her in med school, so she was raised by her grandparents most of her childhood.

 
I'm 28 and still like a child myself, I don't feel prepared to take on a lifetime responsibility for another human being just yet.

I just got my Master's and now we're trying to save up money for a house downpayment. I want my child[ren] to have everything they need for a healthy life and right now I just can't afford that.

 
This is a normal feeling for a caring parent so don't think it strange that you feel that way. It is alright to plan and get the basics ready before you make babies but if you want to get everything ready...you might never have any children. If you settle, have a home to stay happily and can provide food for the table, you can start and save gradually as you go along for the rest.

 
Halle Berry was 41.

A response that usually shuts people up when they start nagging about when you're going to have kids is "Whenever God decides to bless us."  Doesn't matter if you're trying or not.

 
Had my first one at 24 and my last one at 29. I have 3 natural children and one that was a gift package that came with my hub, so I'm a mom to 4...plus my hub... and dachshund... and guinea pig... and a plecostamus.
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Truth is I always thought I would have kids by now- I'm 34. I've been with my husband for 7.5 years and he's amazing & I love him so much. We're both so busy with work and furthering our careers that it really has never been "the time". The more I think about it, I think it's never " the time" & that its probably just one of those things that you work your life around. I'm at the point where now I see what having kids involves and I'm thinking its not what I want in life. I hope I don't regret my decision. I work for a family business and when I get home I'm exhausted - the last thing I really want to do is be up all night taking of a child. The older we get I think the more selfish we get....

 
I had my two boys at 25 and 27.  It has worked out perfectly for us, as I was able to finish up my education right after I got pregnant with my first (it was a surprise, lol!).  I'm always weird about numbers, so when I figured out that I'd turn 30 right when my oldest started kindergarten (and my youngest started preschool) at 5 and 3, and I'd turn 40 right when I got two teenagers at 15 and 13, I thought that was so cool!  Due to all the financial craziness, I got an IUD right after my second son was born, and my hubby and I are now trying to decide if we want one more, or just want to call it quits with the boys.  I seriously want a daughter, but I just know if I get preggo again it'll be another boy!  

I agree with what some of the others have said, that having a baby is much more about maturity and financial readiness than any numerical age.  I know some people who have been excellent parents at 19, and some people in their 40s that should never have kids!  Find someone stable to raise your children with, and have kids when YOU'RE ready, not when someone else tells you to.

 
Hubby and I started trying when I was 18 but didn't happen for us till I was 24 or so but with the help of IVF though.

 
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