Face my fear

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My parents own a cabin about two hours from the city in a beautiful area. I haven't been able to go out there for the past few years because it brings back terrible memories. After I left my exbf, he followed me out to the cabin ( wasn't aware he had followed me) and came after me. I could have died that day from my injuries but I didn't. I was in no shape to drive home and had to stay in the cabin overnight, fearing he may come back for me but he didn't. Since that time I have never gone back, horrid memories.

I am starting to heal emotionally and I thought why should I let that bastard ruin my life, prevent me from going to places I once loved. I have decided to head back to the cabin this weekend and face my fear. I know my neighbours will be out so I won't be alone. Plus I don't have to worry about my ex since he is dead (killed himself last year). Even if I manage to only stay a few hours that would be a start.

I figure if I can face my fear that will be a sign that I am becoming stronger.

 
Wow, I am so impressed with you challenging yourself to face your fear this way. Good for you!

 
I agree .. you went through a lot every day is an extra day of healing

 
You are on the right path!! Try to take something that represents all that is beautiful and lovely (scented candles, some good music etc) in order to create some new good memories. Pray over and bless the cabin too! It's time for you to release all the negativity that occurred there..

 
You go girl!! Every little step forward is an improvement and this is a very important one, we're proud of you!

 
that's amazing! good on you! you're such a strong, brave woman and I think every post I've read of yours shows how well you're handling what life has thrown at you.

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so proud of you!

 
Good luck. Its good to hear that your going to face your fears. Facing your fears is a big step in the right direction. Keep going and never look back. You will be so much happier in end.

 
It's good to hear that you can face your fears.

If you get upset, do you have some safe havens in place - phone, lap top to talk to MUT? What about taking a pet?

Hope you have a great time and forget about the negative past.

 
I know you can do it Shelley, he is gone, and with him the past should be gone as well, and all the harm that he did should too, think of all the good things that happened to you when you are there, think that is just you now and that you deserve to have some peace now, you are a strong woman, be proud of who you became, who you are now, and know that if you were able to go through all that on your own and learned and became stronger after all these experiences, what is being before a cabin compared to all that happened before, more than that, if you like the place enjoy the present and all the good things that come with it, and your stay at the cabin, even if its only for five minutes *hugs*

 
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Shelly, you are doing wonderfully well. Like someone else said above, you have nothing to prove to anybody. Just take your time as you see fit, and leave when you need to... even if it's after only a few minutes.
 
It's brave and impressive that you are even willing to try this. If it doesn't work and you change your mind, don't be hard on yourself. Healing takes time and you are on your way. You've decided not to be a victim anymore and that in itself is HUGE.........
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Thanks everyone for your support.
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My neighbour at the lake just phoned to say that the park people put a bear trap in the yard. Apparently there is a 'problem' bear in the area. This time of year the bears are foraging for food before they hibernate in a few months. Plus people at the campground apparently have been feeding a few bears, very stupid idea!

So I don't feel like contending with a bear this weekend. I have thought about it and I am really not sure if I am ready at the moment to confront my fears. I do plan on going out to the cabin to face my fear but maybe this moment is not the right time. This plan is set in my mind and I hope to do it soon, even if I only stay 5 minutes.

 
Originally Posted by Ohappydayes /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with Jenny, good for you. But take it slow, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. If you only stay 5 minutes, it's still an accomplishment and you should be VERY proud of yourself. Just wanting to do this is a huge step in and of itself. ITA! Sometimes the best way to face a fear is to throw yourself at it. Best of luck Shelley!
 
i guess you should just wait till you're ready

you have more guts than me...i wouldn't even want to go near a cabin (camping is not my thing) and i haven't gone through even half of what you did

 
facing fears helps dear.. i know from experience and im sorry for what happend..

i truly am!

 

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