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- May 14, 2008
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So...I work with this guy, and we share the same birthday--same year and everything. He works on a different floor and I don't know him THAT well, but we've gone out in a group before. And because we share a birthday, we've sort of 'celebrated' together before. A lot of my friends at work pick on him and just give him a lot of crap...and one day I just thought about it and wondered if he's really THAT bad. So I asked my friends and most of them said he can be annoying to work with sometimes, but he really is a sweet guy. A few of my co-workers wanted to take me out for my birthday this year, in early December, so I invited him to come too since it was his birthday as well, and he came. He seems really nice, and he's just like me--we just turned 41 and neither of us has been married, no kids. (I'm just throwing that out there because at my age that is harder to find...)
So a bunch of us all went out and it was a good time. A couple days later we were IM'ing at work and he said it was an ok time--I think only because it was all MY friends and he didn't really know anyone. I said I was sorry he just had an ok time and he goes "Any time spent with you is quality time". Say what? Turns out the guy has been interested in me for several years and I never knew it. We ended up going on a date--just to dinner and a movie, and it went ok. There were no sparks, butterflies or any of that stuff-but again, at my age I think I'm just better off finding someone I feel safe and comfortable with--there really is no such thing as the butterfly feeling.
So later that week he invites me to his house for a movie...that went fine--we watched the movie and sort of snuggled up, and it felt nice. As SOON as the movie was over he grabbed the remote and hit 'stop' and turned and started kissing me. BUT it wasn't good at all--his idea was kissing was tongue jammed down my throat for the better part of an hour; along with tongue all up in my ear (which I HATE)....my jaw literally ACHED when I left his house. I kept trying to back off and take a little control and slow it down a bit, but he thought I was teasing and went after it harder. At one point he sort of accidentally grazed my crotch lightly, and it was sort of a turn on. But then he got the idea to start rubbing down there--HARD--and didn't let up. It was like his every idea of what a woman likes was the exact opposite of what we actually DO like. At one point I told him I was leaving in like ten minutes--that was the wrong thing to say, because once he realized he was on the clock, he went that much faster and harder. Before the date I had told him I wanted to go REALLY slow with things, and to his favor, he didn't try anything more with me. It was just making out, but it just wasn't good at all.
So now I'm totally turned off and don't want to be alone with the guy again. I don't know if I like him because I like the idea that he likes me, or what. He really is nice, and he tells me I'm sexy and hot, and it's been a long time since I've heard that, and frankly, I need it.
So I don't know what to do--do I give him another chance, and hope that he was just really excited and over-zealous, and maybe things will go slower the next time, or do I just write it off?
He's tried to get me to come over again, and I've come up with many excuses, but he keeps trying--I don't know if that is being cute and charming, or just desperate.
My friends who know him say he IS nice and would treat me great, and he has the same family values as I do, etc. But I'm just scared to death to be alone with him again and act like I'm enjoying myself when I'm not. He seems to think he's doing it all right--how do you tell someone something that personal, that they are doing that stuff all wrong???
Sorry for the long rant--this has been on my mind for a while now and don't really have anyone to talk to about it.
So a bunch of us all went out and it was a good time. A couple days later we were IM'ing at work and he said it was an ok time--I think only because it was all MY friends and he didn't really know anyone. I said I was sorry he just had an ok time and he goes "Any time spent with you is quality time". Say what? Turns out the guy has been interested in me for several years and I never knew it. We ended up going on a date--just to dinner and a movie, and it went ok. There were no sparks, butterflies or any of that stuff-but again, at my age I think I'm just better off finding someone I feel safe and comfortable with--there really is no such thing as the butterfly feeling.
So later that week he invites me to his house for a movie...that went fine--we watched the movie and sort of snuggled up, and it felt nice. As SOON as the movie was over he grabbed the remote and hit 'stop' and turned and started kissing me. BUT it wasn't good at all--his idea was kissing was tongue jammed down my throat for the better part of an hour; along with tongue all up in my ear (which I HATE)....my jaw literally ACHED when I left his house. I kept trying to back off and take a little control and slow it down a bit, but he thought I was teasing and went after it harder. At one point he sort of accidentally grazed my crotch lightly, and it was sort of a turn on. But then he got the idea to start rubbing down there--HARD--and didn't let up. It was like his every idea of what a woman likes was the exact opposite of what we actually DO like. At one point I told him I was leaving in like ten minutes--that was the wrong thing to say, because once he realized he was on the clock, he went that much faster and harder. Before the date I had told him I wanted to go REALLY slow with things, and to his favor, he didn't try anything more with me. It was just making out, but it just wasn't good at all.
So now I'm totally turned off and don't want to be alone with the guy again. I don't know if I like him because I like the idea that he likes me, or what. He really is nice, and he tells me I'm sexy and hot, and it's been a long time since I've heard that, and frankly, I need it.
So I don't know what to do--do I give him another chance, and hope that he was just really excited and over-zealous, and maybe things will go slower the next time, or do I just write it off?
He's tried to get me to come over again, and I've come up with many excuses, but he keeps trying--I don't know if that is being cute and charming, or just desperate.
My friends who know him say he IS nice and would treat me great, and he has the same family values as I do, etc. But I'm just scared to death to be alone with him again and act like I'm enjoying myself when I'm not. He seems to think he's doing it all right--how do you tell someone something that personal, that they are doing that stuff all wrong???
Sorry for the long rant--this has been on my mind for a while now and don't really have anyone to talk to about it.