Having a nervous breakdown

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Mar 1, 2006
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I really have no one to vent to so im gonna go crazy here.

Im the same person who did the So pissed thread about the pain in the ass sister in law. My boyfriend and I live an apartment been together 6 years. Im pretty certain that our relationship is over. We have had soo many struggles along the way and highs and lows in the relationship but now im actually scared that it might be over for real this time. He is a great guy the best guy i've ever been with never cheated on me. always treated me good. he is a really great person just came from a messed up family and he has a lot of addiction issues. We are at a point where his family dislikes me and my family dislikes him but they tolerate him for me. Things are so bad right now. He hurt his foot in work last month and has been buying percocets off the street to help with the pain. problem is its becoming an everyday thing and when he takes them he is out of it all day long he's mean, disrespectful and starting to become violent. We were talking about getting engaged three months ago talking about having a baby and all. Now I feel like he is disgusted by me. We haven't had sex in about 3 or 4 months possibly even longer. I try to walk around naked in front of him and he doesnt even turn to look anymore. I gave up on initiating because it hurts too much to be turned down. We argue on a daily basis now and he is saying extremely hurtful things to me. My parents are getting married tomorrow and last night was their rehearsal dinner and my bf ended up backing out and not going. I had to explain to my family all night why he didnt show (lie) and it was his birthday so my mom got him a cake. Well today he brought me home a dozen roses i guess because we fought so bad over that last night. So today it started out well and then i asked him to tell my mom at the wedding that he was sorry he didnt make it and thank you for the cake. Well he snapped (yes he was on percocets) saying that my family is fake and all kinds of mean things. We got into a huge argument and I just asked him why he keeps putting me through this. Everytime i pack a bag and leave he calls me up and asks me to come home. So I said this is over! its been over for awhile why doesnt he just break up with me? and he doesnt answer.

I know I can do better I know that I dont deserve this but I dont understand what and where this went wrong. I try to be nice and he will just fight with me about every little thing. Now my parents wedding is tomorrow and i asked him if hes going and he said no but hes been playing games all week everytime we are fine hes going then we fight hes not going. My parents paid 125 a head and its going to be messed up if he doesnt show. I will feel embarrassed. I will be heartbroken because that will be the end for me. I dont know how he feels I'm not sure if he's in love with me anymore. I can't talk to him about it because hes high everynight. I just can't imagine my life without him. We had our future planned out and now we are about to break up. We also have a dog & 2 cats. I will NOT be able to deal with losing one of my animals. The dog was my valentines day gift he said and he let me put my name on the dogs registrtation but he did pay for the dog. Then we have a cat that we adopted but her papers are in HIS name. We also have a kitten that was stray and i found her so she is mine. now all our pets are attatched to eachother its like a family and i cant imagine them being seperated. If i move out i'll be going to live with my mom and she has a dog that hates cats so i wouldnt be able to take my cats. So you understand why i still havent left?

I dont know what to do anymore. I love him hes been my best friend, lover, practically my family for the last 6 years. I feel so empty inside. I cant eat I cant sleep. I havent eaten in about 4 days. I try to eat and i cant. I went to the Doctors for a regualr exam and i lost 10 pounds in two months. Now this wedding is tomorrow how am i supposed to celebrate and be happy when my relationship is failing. all i wanna do is sleep and not be around anyone. I am going to take it really hard if i look for him in church and hes not there. If he doesnt go to my parents wedding i'll know that he doesnt give a crap about me. I went through heartbreak once before and that was rough i feel like this is going to be that times 10.

I just dont know what to do anymore

I PERSONALLY would let it go. Maybe not permanently, but just for a little while. You need a break. Maybe if YOU leave, he will get his act together.
I'm sorry hun.

If I were in your shoes, I would get the hell out of there as fast as I could and not look back. I know it is easier said than done. Maybe you can move into your own place and take the animals with you? But don't let your cats and dogs be the reason to stay with this mentally abusive dude. Especially if he has addiction problems, that is a huge red flag to get out of there. Your mom sounds nice. She didn't have to buy your boyfriend a cake, and he isn't even appreciative of it, that should also tell you something. I wish you the best of luck, and please remember that your family on MuT will be here to support you!

Im like you I can't stand my sister in law and my boyfriend is acting the same way.We talked and say we are going to work it out but if he acts the same way thats it for me.