He kicked in the door (long post)

Makeuptalk.com - Makeup forums and reviews

Help Support Makeuptalk.com - Makeup forums and reviews:

Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
544
Reaction score
0
I'm staying with family and have been for a long while because my husdband left. He comes back we reconcile. We get along great then things are one long hot mess.

He kicked in the front door. It may ahve been my fault for I made him angry. before this he tore up lots of pictures and cds in my room so I was pissed. he dropped his car key and I locked him out and refuse to give them back for a minute I even lost it and called him names.

Now I had to get an order of protection on him like I have a stalker. Oh My God. he is my husband. He has been using me for all I am worth, he bought a car he couldn't afford to pay off nor keep gasoline in...and used me up for my entire check to put gas in...then he took my car which is very old and it is ruined sitting n the side of the road. that's a few of many reasons we argued and had a blowout this morning.

I don't know if I want advice or what or if I'm just venting. He has left me twice across the country then comes back and says he loves me.

I'm not a stupid girl and I'm not crazy, I think I just thought he would change. He has and not for the better, with the way he is acting and talking he may wind up homeless or in prison and it hurts me to think of so bad. I pray for a man who verbally tells me he wishes I would commit suicide (yeh) and also just told me he'd like to burn my whole house down.

We used to have something amazing but it's all but dried up and gone, and he continues to say i don't care or never did. he calls himself a peice of shit and a jerk and says everything is his fautl or goes into self righteous rages and sort of says I desrve to be punish. If you step on this mofo's toe he will black your eyes metaphorically speaking. He is hell bent on revenge or bringing me down and Ijust cannot take it anymore.

I have begin to lose a lot of my attraction to him and oh my gods that HELPS. he sensed something was off in my libido, he often in arguments accuse me of wanting a man more like my father...or even a man who remind me less of my father.

Ah, all fruedian cliches aside, I think I lost my mojo because I felt like I was dealing with a son. Ah, it's like...

I'm 29 and am f***ing my own 30 yro son...gross. I'm not sure his ego could take the idea as he is and was my best love making ever but it's very true.

He has put me through hell and back. I was no saint and was horrid to him too. i bail him out of all these situations then I verbally (s word) on him because I bitterly resent paying for all his mistakes when I am on a soial security check and he has an allright job and gets paid EVERY week.

he continues to call me and I must take his calls, for if I do not he will call the HOUSE phone and threaten/aggravate my family here and no one else desrve this, it's between me and the husband. When I tell him that I'd never call up his mom or who ever to disrespect you know what he says he don't like my family especially my father so he doesn't give a f*** if it makes sense.

He took depression meds when his MOM asked him to. he wasn't always like this, and I struggle with feeling that by me being a jerk and having a cruel mouth I may have turned him into this somehow.

I have to divorce and I am afraid of men. i am afraid of sex. I don't ever want another, i just...can't somehow, and all the man ever does is accuse me of cheating if...for any damned reason. Jeez.

My marriage is an utter ruin and failure, i had three wonderful years of a long engagement but things started to slowly unravel i should never have married.

Oh and needless to say, with him being this unstable and all before anyone asks, yes, he has. I have pictures to prove it but never did file police reoprts. I thought true love could conquer all. true love doesn't do (s***) sometimes. What a crock.

He knows I want a divorce for real this time, no reconciliation, and as stated the police know he has been giving me a hard time. he has thraetened to kill me and kill my father as well. Thank God he doesn't have a weapon.

****************************

please tell me i'm not a toal a-hole for needing to divorce a man i dearly love to save myself from him physically and to save his emotions from me.

****************************

oh yeah, and I had kidney failure at fifteen was sick past 21...and have seldom ever had a regular job nor real transportation. i ahve this...mind and vocabulary...and have not gone to school yet.

i'm 29 and a total raving abject faliure. I'm just convinced people laugh at me behind my back. it's like I got sick really young and missed out on some important stuff of growing up. i lost a lot of friends due to their unhidden superiority complex towards me and like...no one expects any better of me, a lot of my family baby me to death and treat me like I'm feeble, like something went awry with my mind instead of my body.

i pray for death every night and no such mercy comes. I do not want to see a therapist, they are all lame. it's not suicidal it's a death wish. it's different.

I ahve way more stuff from my childhood and adolescence that was messed up but i won't get into here.

i am 29 and fairly healthy but I feel like it's too late to start over. I don't want to date, i don't want to be awake or anything at all. I want to be totally numb but it's a here and there Blessing since I have been dealing with so much for so long.

and a sneaking sense of relief that makes me want to cut my own wicked heart out, for not wanting to try to carry hubs emotionally and across the board any frickin' longer. I married him, I married him, that's a big deal. have I ever done enough?

What's a good reason to be alive besides my family won't have to mourn my loss. I barely ever freaking see them anyhow and again, everyone roundly pities me...I feel like my whole life is a waste and I am not young not old, its probably too late to rise up and blah blah all that blue skying and bull.........

the broken record within of "but i'd hurt people if I was gone" isn't working anymore. I won't do anything to myself but I'd love for someone to put me out of my misery and make it quick and painless.

if i could lose forty IQ points I wouldn't know the differnce to be hurt or feel condescended to.

ah, okay, so what the hell should I do about ANy of this?!

 
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
17,858
Reaction score
10
wooooaah super long post! first of all, I'm sorry for everything that's happened. You deserve better, and you deserve a big hug.

I think, if it was me, this is what I'd do. I would wait until you had both calmed down, however that takes, maybe a few day, and then I would ring him and say, look, I want to make this work (if you do) and set rules about what you would need. Explain how you feel and what would need to change, and just be blatant that you will *not* be with him unless he changes.

On the other hand, it sounds to me, like you're losing your attraction to him. You don't deserve to be treated like that, and it might be better if you really believe he wont change, if you just take a break, and have nothing more to do with him.

This is a very personal decision so best of luck with this - I can't suggest what to do, but I can be supportive, so if there's anything I can do to cheer you up, let me know


 
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
2,037
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by pinksugar /img/forum/go_quote.gif wooooaah super long post! first of all, I'm sorry for everything that's happened. You deserve better, and you deserve a big hug.
I think, if it was me, this is what I'd do. I would wait until you had both calmed down, however that takes, maybe a few day, and then I would ring him and say, look, I want to make this work (if you do) and set rules about what you would need. Explain how you feel and what would need to change, and just be blatant that you will *not* be with him unless he changes.

On the other hand, it sounds to me, like you're losing your attraction to him. You don't deserve to be treated like that, and it might be better if you really believe he wont change, if you just take a break, and have nothing more to do with him.

This is a very personal decision so best of luck with this - I can't suggest what to do, but I can be supportive, so if there's anything I can do to cheer you up, let me know


I agree with Pinksugar.
Also, I don't think it's too late to change anything. The average life expectancy is like 75 yrs old (give or take), you still have a ton of time to change things.

I didn't get sick while I was really young but I did become an orphan. Which made me live on the streets for a few years, never went to high school too, so i missed out on a lot things as well. Now, I will be 25 in January and I am currently attending college, it was a big step for me but it was in the right direction. It's never too late to do what you want to do.


 
Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
544
Reaction score
0
THX so muches, pinksugar u are awesome i read everything you write because you are very fair and usually insightful. I never ever wanted to say goodbye to him for EVER but my goodness, it's been six years off and on and i'm tired of the chaos. i think my husband is...'not well" and he refuses to seek help. it's the same old song and dance, things will change yada yada then if I have expectations of him he disappoints me continually. He seldom keeps his word and that's one of my biggest pet peeves, I guess I was more blind to that before.

Annia, I am not sure if I have saw you on here before or not but I do admire your strength after what you have been through and your can-do attitude.

<3<3

 
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
17,626
Reaction score
23
Location
Mississippi
Sweetie (and dont be offended by me calling you sweetie, i know some ladies haaaate it!!) You are not in no way shape or form a failure. The first thing that you need to do is make a plan. I personally dont look down on people because of education most of the time as long as you have the notion that you need to change your like. Now back to the plan.

The first thing-your baby, and his future. And they way to make his future bright is by fixing you into the woman that you want to be.

Now, on to you and the second plan of action-that guy you are dealing with.....its not necessary at all. If a man is hurting you in any way shape or form, he is no good for you. And men generally are hard creatures to interpret. If you two cant come up with a plan to better yourselves together, and he does not want to stick with the plan, he is not worth being with. A man that is willing to change for the good is a good man, a man that is not willing to change is selfish and not worth your time. Anyhow, I know how you feel, I wont hijack, but trust me when I say that there are times that I ask God "why did you even allow me to wake up this morning" Hell I had a day like this last week, but fortunately for me, I had a good friend to intervene before I swallowed a bottle of pills, if it weren't for the cop that she called, 3 more minutes and I would have did it.

Which leads me into #3. You need to find at least one good friend. And yes, they are so hard to find, it is hard to meet someone and trust them, but at least give it a go, I have found some good friends in the strangest of places and situations. But at least one good friend.

It is never too late to start over and never too late to change when it is for good. Be strong, and if you ever need any help, let me know, i am always willing to help when I can, and besides, you are not that far away


 
Joined
Mar 3, 2007
Messages
2,221
Reaction score
0
Is he an alcoholic? His behaivior points to that. I dont want to get into details but your hubby sounds like mine. I am in the process of getting myself strong enough emotionally to make the move. Be thankful you have family to stay with. Please dont think this sounds corny but you are worth more than this ass who grinds you down just so he can feel better. It obviously has taken it's toll on you. You need to talk to someone, join a group or even an online group that can help you get strong. If you were asking me, staying away is the BEST ( and hardest for now ) choice you can make. It may be difficult now, ( all his manipulations, pity for him etc ) but in the future, you will thank yourself for being strong.

 
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
2,030
Reaction score
2
I agree that if your husband doesn't want to seek help for his abusive and manipulative ways then it's probably best to move on. It's in no way your fault this is happening because it takes two to make a relationship work, and from what you've said it sounds like you've tried everything...at this point you'd just be enabling him to keep treating you badly because he won't get the help he needs. I know what you mean about feeling like a failure though, I'm going through some tough times with my fiance (been with him for 9 years), so its hard not to think "what else could I have done"? But when it gets to point where you're thinking death is a better option than waking up in the morning, I think you've done all you can do (too much even) and you should focus on making you happy now.

 
Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
544
Reaction score
0
no, april, i'm lived down south for years and years and everyone is sweetie or honey down here. i'm also a fag hag, we are all sweeties.

i can't thank all of you enough for your words of wisdom and kindness.

i don't want to demonize the man i married, he has so much potential and is a loving kind spirit...he's great with kids and loves puppies and kittens. I can't wrap my head around the way its like....two different people in one body. he has never hurt any of his ex girlfriends but to be fair none of those relationships lasted more than like 6 months and we were going on six years together, three of marriage.

he has been an alcoholic but his most raving addiction is marijuana....people tell me it's horrible and i'm all "uh, it's not crack cocaine." He has also been addicted to pills ectetera but stopped them.

he has been diagnosed with being bipolar or major depressive mood disorder, i love to read pysch books and medical journals but i have no clue just EXACTLY what MDMD entails, and bipolar seems to be a catch all phrase that's rather ambiguous. people who are bipolar can be anything from a little bit depressive and erratic in mood swings to raving lunatics, in my humble experience. Oh and supposedly I'm bipolar. if crazy was like salsa, i'm the mild to medium kind.

 
Joined
Sep 14, 2007
Messages
3,165
Reaction score
2
Originally Posted by MamaRocks /img/forum/go_quote.gif Is he an alcoholic? His behaivior points to that. I dont want to get into details but your hubby sounds like mine. I am in the process of getting myself strong enough emotionally to make the move. Be thankful you have family to stay with. Please dont think this sounds corny but you are worth more than this ass who grinds you down just so he can feel better. It obviously has taken it's toll on you. You need to talk to someone, join a group or even an online group that can help you get strong. If you were asking me, staying away is the BEST ( and hardest for now ) choice you can make. It may be difficult now, ( all his manipulations, pity for him etc ) but in the future, you will thank yourself for being strong. Everyone has given you good advice, but I think that MamaRocks has distilled you problem to its essence. He may have wonderful traits, but his bad ones far outweigh his good ones. No one is completely evil (or good for that matter), but it is obvious that he is very bad for you! If you get back with him, I'm afraid that you will be in for more of the same. He knows how to push your buttons and he will keep doing it when he feels like it. I join with MamaRocks to say, be strong, stay away from him and get some assistance. Obviously, we are here for you, but you need local help also. Please keep us informed.
 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
I don't mean to hijack your thread.. I'm just hoping what I experienced may help you.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Years later I had a relationship with a man who was extremely violent. He could have killed me a few times and I needed a few surgeries due to the damage he caused me. I realize both your husband and my exbf are two different people. My ex had a sweet side to him but he could switch into a monster. I'm just mentioning that usually abusive people have two sides to them, not saying your husband is a monster.

Because I have been through extreme abuse, when I hear of others who have a partner who is verbally abusive and threatening I do worry. I'm not saying your husband will become physically violent but I do want you to be careful.

It sounds like you love your husband and want him to get the help he needs for his depression but at the same time you don't want to put up with his abusive ways.

I realized my exbf would never change. I gave him too many chances. It is possible if your husband gets the help he needs with the depression it could make a difference.

Right now the priority is your safety and well being. It sounds like you are not safe where you are staying. He has threatened you and your family. If you don't feel safe maybe you could move into a women's shelter temporarily.

And you are not a failure! I was told all my life by my parents and my exbf I would amount to nothing. It did take a toll on me but now I am starting to feel stronger. It's tough at first when you are at your lowest point but when you put your mind to it you can do anything you want. Make sure you surround yourself with supportive people.

I have vented many times on MUT about problems and the members are a wonderful support. Were here for you. Hugs.

I hoped this helped a bit.


 
Joined
Jan 20, 2007
Messages
4,656
Reaction score
1
This is some great advice.I am really scared for you though!

Originally Posted by Aprill849 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Sweetie (and dont be offended by me calling you sweetie, i know some ladies haaaate it!!) You are not in no way shape or form a failure. The first thing that you need to do is make a plan. I personally dont look down on people because of education most of the time as long as you have the notion that you need to change your like. Now back to the plan.
The first thing-your baby, and his future. And they way to make his future bright is by fixing you into the woman that you want to be.

Now, on to you and the second plan of action-that guy you are dealing with.....its not necessary at all. If a man is hurting you in any way shape or form, he is no good for you. And men generally are hard creatures to interpret. If you two cant come up with a plan to better yourselves together, and he does not want to stick with the plan, he is not worth being with. A man that is willing to change for the good is a good man, a man that is not willing to change is selfish and not worth your time. Anyhow, I know how you feel, I wont hijack, but trust me when I say that there are times that I ask God "why did you even allow me to wake up this morning" Hell I had a day like this last week, but fortunately for me, I had a good friend to intervene before I swallowed a bottle of pills, if it weren't for the cop that she called, 3 more minutes and I would have did it.

Which leads me into #3. You need to find at least one good friend. And yes, they are so hard to find, it is hard to meet someone and trust them, but at least give it a go, I have found some good friends in the strangest of places and situations. But at least one good friend.

It is never too late to start over and never too late to change when it is for good. Be strong, and if you ever need any help, let me know, i am always willing to help when I can, and besides, you are not that far away


Aprill..I would really miss you if you were gone! I'm glad you're ok.
 
Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
544
Reaction score
0
shelley,

*gasps*

be Blessed-

everyone else, thanks...with much love and I am flattered that you share such personal and sometimes quite painful life experience stories with me...

the man went from homicidal to suicidal.

I stayed over with my aunt and uncle instead, everything was tense and nerve wrecking but he wouldn't remeber where they live.

He had a nervous breakdown and gobbled up these different kinds of over the counter pills. I kept calling him to make sure he was still breathing as he specifically ate some to counteract one another. A plan and the whole bit, a bottle of liqour and also he had gone to the library to look up what legal medicines do not get along in the body.

He was delirious and thought I had seen him when i did not, he dreamed of me, he babbled almost incoherently and could not always answer lucidly.

antihistamines (cold/sinus pills) versus sleeping pills.

thank GOD they were weak OTC ones....he thought someone stole his car in the morning it was missing (long story) I think he had a slight nervous breakdown, I almost did as well after the stress....

I convinced him to seek help from a doctor, he has about hit rock bottom, I can't help him because I just...cannot and no one else will help now. he thinks he is unloved, he is cherished by many but I think those who DO love him best collectively got fed up with the erratic behavior.

He is being seen tomorrow and has gone somewhere where he cannot hurt himself or anyone else. Voluntary, after i begged and begged and begged him to try. He is finally making tenative talks toward no longer smoking weed at all. I don't think pot is a big deal but it's way less innocent as it might seem when you have lived with a person who bases too much of his life around it for years and years, it's a crutch to him and if he ran out he would freak.

I'm not supposed to be talkng to him and I am wondering that if he does clean up is it too little too late? I love him very much but his family and even my family has exhausted all patience. I am afraid he could soon wind up homeless but it makes my heart glad to know he will not be on the street he is plannin' on going into something like rehab to dry up for a good few months. I'm lonely and scared for him, I never sleep and cannot eat but I do not want to interfere with any progress he will make.

Things may be getting better incrementally but I'm so very sad I have prayed and prayed he will realise the bottom has fallen out and this time he MUST be forthright with the counselors and also has to continue any treatment plan he is given...see, he used to get better but then he would give up on a medicine or doctor.

He can't stop crying sometimes he is in bad shape and it tears me to peices inside to hear him all I can do is say "shhh, shh, it's okay, it'll change I promise. Today will not be forever."

 
Joined
Sep 14, 2007
Messages
3,165
Reaction score
2
You have given him all the support that anyone could give. It is now up to him. Good luck, we are here for you!

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
I agree with S. Lisa Smith. You have given him alot of support. I know you love him and want the best for him. It's great he decided to seek treatment. Maybe he was at a breaking point (suicide attempt) and with your support he decided to seek help, wants to heal. As for too little, too late, only time will tell. I hope whatever treatment he gets will help him and improve things between the two of you. It sounds like whatever is making him feel the way he does causes him to lash out.

After being abused myself I tend to be watchful when I hear someone else being emotionally abusive or potentially violent. Please be careful. I hope everything works out for you. Were here for you.


 
Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
544
Reaction score
0
he suffered the worst kinds of abuse and neglect as a child, neither one of his parents were worth a flip. They had no christmases and sometimes no food to eat, his mom wasn't even an addict nor a bad person but she married someone who was both and she was codependant and she has a GREAT heart but my mother in law...to this day...is about as sharp as a spoon, I'm an ass for saying that but it is true.

My life wasn't as hard but I had to do dyalisis at the age of 15. I had christmases and food to eat but my mom was on welfare the entire time. It's okay to be on wlefare for like a year!

I moved to be with my dad because my mom and her ex b/f used to sort of crucify me and I got locked out of the house...I got cussed out and fussed out and told I'd never amount to anything from the age of like 5-9 years old. I had to choose to not come home at nine it was the hardest thing I had to do as a child. The breaking point was when someone began molesting me...I didn't know what it meant but i knew it wasn't RIGHT and that "something worse" might happen.

I'm a verbally abusive jerk as an adult and probably don't desrve to be happy with ANY-ONE. I'm not sure I will ever get over the guilt of saying some of the things I have said to my husband, and as a result of his anger at his past as well as at "our past" he was NO cakewalk verbally either.

I'm caring from far away, just across town really. I have not visit with him and have no intentions to just yet. I wrote the Hubs a letter the other day and he was so stoked to get it (AWEEE!) he only wants me to perhaps go to some meetings with him (12 steps) I don't think it will kill me to try.

All in all I thank you all for slogging through my huge posts and for listening in a virtual sense.

if any of you does chat I don't do it often but enjoy it on occasion. my handle is melab1018 on yahoo chats it's the only chat I have besides myspace.

my email on myspace to look me up if you like is XX-EMAIL-ADDRESS-REMOVED-BY-ADMIN-XX

I love having friends who live in my computer, I ahve become a hermit and decided long distance friends won't be as apt to let me down :/

 
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
2,732
Reaction score
1
Whoa Mel, are you married to my ex-husband?? The way you described yours fits mine to a tee and I left his sorry ass and found myself an amazing guy! You can too, if that's what you choose!

 
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
(((melpaganlibran))) So sorry you're having to go through all this. I don't really have any advice, except that it may be worthwhile to reconsider therapy. I've been to many who weren't helpful but finally found one who was, and it really changed my life. Do try to not be so hard on yourself, and stay safe! You ARE worth it and you DO deserve to be happy!

 
Joined
Feb 1, 2006
Messages
7,507
Reaction score
10
It sounds like both you and your husband had a hard life. I know what it is like. I grew up in an abusive household and not long ago was told I was never wanted in the first place by my parents. Some people who have been abused do feel angry and it is carried deep inside of them until one day it unfolds. It may be the case with your husband. All the years of abuse can add up and cause someone to lash out. Others become quiet, shy. Everyone is different in how they end up after a rough childhood. But you should know that none of this is your fault. You didn't deserve this while growing up.

I'm starting to realize this myself now. For so long I carried the burden that it was my fault. Sure I have days where I still feel this way but it is starting to hit me that I caused none of this.

It does take time to heal from trauma whether in the past or the present.

One thing that has helped me over the years is I decided I will never be like my parents. I do admit I have alot of anger in me. From my childhood and from what my exbf did to me. It's better to let the anger out in a healthy way compared to keeping it bottled up inside.

I think it is great that you vent on MUT because the more you talk about it the easier it gets. Feel free to vent here. Were here for you!
Yes you do deserve to be happy! We all do.


Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I posted a bit about myself in hopes that it will help.

 
Joined
Aug 2, 2007
Messages
461
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by Sharifa /img/forum/go_quote.gif (((melpaganlibran))) So sorry you're having to go through all this. I don't really have any advice, except that it may be worthwhile to reconsider therapy. I've been to many who weren't helpful but finally found one who was, and it really changed my life. Do try to not be so hard on yourself, and stay safe! You ARE worth it and you DO deserve to be happy! I agree, although right now is probably not the exact right time for it. I am bi-polar as well, so I know how easy it can be for things to spiral out of control so quickly. That and you said that you may have it as well, so think of how much more work you two would have to put forward if together is what you want (and from your most recent posts, in your heart, it kind of sounds like that feeling is still there to some degree). The reason why iI say this is because it doesn't sound as if your husband has anyone else in his life as invested in his health and well-being as much as you are. I mean, most bi-polar patients, and especially those who also have other issues, like past traumas or addictions, rarely see success unless they have some sort of support system. It really sounds like you were one to him even though he may not have always appreciated it or saw you for what you really were.

Your safety really is number one priority right now. So the fact that he is being seen byprofessionals for his various needs is good news. I am so very glad to hear it! But once it seems that he may be on a more structered plan and all, that is when he really needs you! I say this because in my own experience, a lot of doctors and mental health proffessioanls do not take their patients seriously enough unless they see that someone else in their life is also keeping active and close tabs on their treatment. It's not just the fact that your husband didn't stick with his treatment, but it is also that the mental health community could not find the time to single him out to make sure he stuck to it eaither. He was still sick all those times, so how could he be expected to do it all on his own?

I've had the pleasure of reading other posts of yours in the past, and if there is one thing I know you can do well, it is make people *listen.* And that is what you need to do with these doctors, and counselors, and therapists, and social workers. If he's having problems with work, tell them. If he's having substance abuse issues, tell them. If he's not taking his medication like he's supposed to, tell them. IF THEY ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB, TELL THEM! (I've had to do this myself with my hubby and while it's intimidating, it creates important and neccesary change that always works out for the better!) They will quickly see him and you as a pair who are actively involved in his healthcare and will remember you and strive to make sure that they do their best to get and keep him well. It worked for me, personally, and it can work for you! ( I went from a horrible doctor who was just prescribing me meds willy-nilly, some of which made me SUPER MANIC and who never listened to me, to a therapist and doctor who actually ask for my input and have me on just the right amount of medication and never force me to take what I don't want. And all this by getting the first doctor to actually call himself to make and appointment for me to see the second doctor! How's *that* for action!)

In addition, if you two are to stay together, and you also are dealing with bi-polar depression and/or past painful issues it would probably be a good idea to attend couples counseling together (many community based sliding scale mental health facilities have practitioners who do this, for as low as even 10 dollars a visit, or taking insurance), as my husband doesn't even have the same problems as I and I feel like lots of times I should take him along with me to my own therapy sessions because having a relationship when even one of you is dealing with depression is stressful is difficult enough! And if you definitely do have bi-polar, you should at least see about visiting a counselor or doctor for your own needs yourself. The healthier you both are, the healthier your relationship will be overall.

Well, I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries by giving what I thought was some helpful advice, but as a fellow sufferer of mental illness who is also in a relationship that isn't always peaches and cream, I just wanted to share with you what I felt was important to share. You can PM me anytime, and my email is on my swap notepad if you want to talk more


 

Latest posts

Top