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I need some help. My son is going to be 16 this week and we bought him a car. A coworker suggested making a contract with him and making him sign it before we hand over the keys. eg. Everyone in car must wear seatbelt. Only 2 passengers in the car at a time and so forth. Can you please help with any suggestions. I need your help now!

 
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Originally Posted by LuckyMe I need some help. My son is going to be 16 this week and we bought him a car. A coworker suggested making a contract with him and making him sign it before we hand over the keys. eg. Everyone in car must wear seatbelt. Only 2 passengers in the car at a time and so forth. Can you please help with any suggestions. I need your help now! It's always good to set limits!!! The seatbelt rule is great... I'd add a limitation on exactly where he can go until he can prove his responsibility... I'm not sure how you can monitor that though, unless you check his mileage... OR, instead of spelling everything out, you can make it extremely general, rely on the hope that your son exhibits good common sense... As long as he knows that if he screws up, there will be consequences, you'll probably be ok... but, speaking from experience, if he really wants to do something, contract or not, he may do it regardless of a contract if he thinks he can get away with it...

 

Liz

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i know in california, newly licensed 16 year olds can't have drivers under 25 in their car for like 6 months or a year. but who knows who listens to that.

 
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Regina-let us know what works, my son is 10 and I already dread the thought!


 
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Originally Posted by LuckyMe I need some help. My son is going to be 16 this week and we bought him a car. A coworker suggested making a contract with him and making him sign it before we hand over the keys. eg. Everyone in car must wear seatbelt. Only 2 passengers in the car at a time and so forth. Can you please help with any suggestions. I need your help now! Have him read this story and then sit down with him and set some rules. I know the family that it happened to.
 
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I found this and I thought it was pretty good:

WE, THE PARENTS AND THE NEW DRIVER, AGREE

on the following ground rules.

WE AGREE on the importance of trust between us, on the responsibilities we each have and the consequences associated with failure to fulfill our individual responsibilities. Bad things may happen. Mistakes might be made. Failures could occur. But, through it all what will bind us and keep us healthy and together is our agreement to a set of conditions. This agreement between

_______________________________________________ as parents and

_______________________________________________ , the New Driver hereby set forth what each expects of the other.

WE AGREE on the following truths

  • Driving a car can be dangerous to your health and happiness
  • New Drivers have, pro rata, significantly more accidents than experienced drivers.
  • Driving is a privilege, not a right
  • The use of a car is a privilege, not a right
  • Parents take on an awesome financial responsibility when they allow a minor child to use a family vehicle
· Misuse of a vehicle by a minor can result in the destruction of the family's economic health through claims by injured parties that exceed the family's insurance coverage. Families can lose their home and life savings because of auto accidents.
Therefore, in recognition of the gravity and risks associated with granting the New Driver certain driving privileges, the parties make the following stipulations:

1. WE PARENTS will approach the process of teaching our New Driver the appropriate skills with love, patience and support. We will accept that this is a learning process and do everything in our power to mentor and coach the New Driver through each level of learning. We understand that our role is to encourage, not to criticize; to demonstrate, not to remonstrate. We will accept whatever pace the Driver achieves in developing skills as their pace and not try to rush the process. We recognize that this is a physical skill we are teaching and everyone develops at a different pace.

2. WE PARENTS agree to establish a schedule of training and to honor that schedule reliably so that the New Driver can depend on the opportunity to learn and to achieve their goals.

3. I, as NEW DRIVER AGREE to maintain a grade point average of __________ or better, in order to maintain driving privileges.

4. I, as NEW DRIVER AGREE to the following rules governing the use of any vehicle

4.1 There will be no alcohol or drugs permitted in the car at any time. I promise to eject anyone who violates this rule, or to call my parents if I am unable to get the offenders to vacate the car.

4.2 I promise to consume zero alcohol or drugs prior to driving the car. There is no such thing in this agreement as "acceptable blood alcohol limit." 4.3 I will wear seat belts whenever the car is in motion and demand that all passengers do the same. WE JOINTLY AGREE that failure on any of these counts will result in the suspension of driving privileges for ______________ months/days.
5. WE JOINTLY AGREE that the New Driver may, at any time he or she deems appropriate, call the Parents for alternate transportation home to avoid either riding in or driving a car where alcohol or drugs are involved. WE AGREE that such an incident shall not affect future driving privileges.
6. I, as NEW DRIVER PROMISE that for the first six months of driving, there will never be more than ____ people in the car with the New Driver. Thereafter, for the next ___ months there will never be more than _____ people in the car with the New Driver. Failure to observe this rule without specific permission will result in a suspension of driving privileges for ______ days/weeks.

7. WE JOINTLY AGREE on the following rules regarding curfews:

7.1 The New Driver will observe those specific limitations set forth in state law.

7.2 The New Driver must be home with the car by ______ p.m. unless there is a specific agreement on an alternate time.

7.3 As the New Driver demonstrates reliability, we agree to adjust these times to reflect greater freedom. 7.4 Failure to observe curfew shall result in a suspension of driving privileges for _____ months/days.
8. WE JOINTLY AGREE that a citation for speeding of less than 10 mph over the limit shall result in a suspension of driving privileges for _____ months/weeks. For a violation in excess of 10 mph over, the suspension shall be _____ months/weeks
For other traffic violations, the suspension schedule shall be:

8.1 Careless Driving ___________ months/weeks

8.2 Reckless Driving ___________ months/weeks

8.3 Following too closely ___________ months/weeks

8.4 Failure to Yield Right-of-Way ___________ months/weeks

8.5 Running a Stop Light ___________ months/weeks

8.6 Running a Stop Sign ___________ months/weeks 8.7 Any At-Fault collision resulting in $500 damage or more shall result in a suspension of _______ months/weeks.
9. I as NEW DRIVER AGREE to accept financial responsibility for the above-listed traffic violations or accidents up to $__________.
10. WE JOINTLY AGREE that this family wants the New Driver to enjoy all the positive benefits of driving -- convenience, entertainment, occupation, recreation and independence. Therefore, we agree to jointly establish a program of ongoing rewards for the continued faithful performance of the New Driver. This may include increased use of family vehicles, reduction in curfew restrictions, credits against suspension periods and other rewards as we may agree. The schedule of these rewards for good performance is attached as Addendum I.

_____________________________________

The Parents ____________________________________

The New Driver

Date: __________________________

 
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That is a great contract. I applaud you for being such a proactive parent.

 
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I feel alot that since he is my only child that I am very protective. I am trying to let go a little at a time and he knows it. I know that right now he probably thinks I am a little overbearing but I hope that when he is an adult he will realize that I am this way because I love him so much and not because I am just trying to make his life miserable!

 

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