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I really need advice in this situation My boyfriend and I have a daugther together and living together.We are both 23. Im not working at the moment but Im looking for employment.He is working at barely started school.The thing is I want him to get a second job instead of going to school while I find a a job .He said hes not going to kill himself working his ass off for his for his daughter and me and hes going to get food stamps.I know we could both do it.I always had that problem hes lazy and does what ever he wants and never communicates with me for nothing he does his own thing.I talked to my mom and she said to leave him and go life with her.What should I do?


 
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Originally Posted by macface /img/forum/go_quote.gif I really need advice in this situation My boyfriend and I have a daugther together and living together.We are both 23. Im not working at the moment but Im looking for employment.He is working at barely started school.The thing is I want him to get a second job instead of going to school while I find a a job .He said hes not going to kill himself working his ass off for his for his daughter and me and hes going to get food stamps.I know we could both do it.I always had that problem hes lazy and does what ever he wants and never communicates with me for nothing he does his own thing.I talked to my mom and she said to leave him and go life with her.What should I do?
If your mom is offering you and your daughter a place to stay I say go for it. You really need to think about your daughter. Live with your mom and save up money to get on your feet. It doesn't have to be forever. If your boyfriend has a fit over it, just tell him it's temporary and then both of you don't have to work so hard and your little girl won't be lacking anything.
 
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What do you want to do? Do you want to stay with someone who puts his needs and wants always above you and your daughters? Do you want a chance for a better life for the two of you? The questions are not meant to be sarcastic. They are just out there for you to think about. I was a single mother and I dumped the man who fathered my child due to his inabilty to care about anyone other than himself. I moved back in with my mom at 23 and then went to college. I moved out after I graduated and have done fine for us both since. Life wasn't easy but I did it on my terms. Just think about the long term and not the immediate. I wish you luck whatever you decide.

 
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Originally Posted by kelly1965rn /img/forum/go_quote.gif What do you want to do? Do you want to stay with someone who puts his needs and wants always above you and your daughters? Do you want a chance for a better life for the two of you? The questions are not meant to be sarcastic. They are just out there for you to think about. I was a single mother and I dumped the man who fathered my child due to his inabilty to care about anyone other than himself. I moved back in with my mom at 23 and then went to college. I moved out after I graduated and have done fine for us both since. Life wasn't easy but I did it on my terms. Just think about the long term and not the immediate. I wish you luck whatever you decide. ITA! John and I have had tiffs in the past, and as long as we worked together, then things were fine. Neither of us ended up having to get a second job, but it was still hard at times. I've never believed in letting a man bring me down, and I never will either. I think you need to do what's best for you and your daughter regardless as to whether or not he's happy about it.
 
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what is he going to school for? does he have plans to get an better education so he can provide better for his family?

if you want out, get out. but i sort of feel like you are kinda blaming him for a situation you both have gotten yourselves in. how is it that he is going to find a job faster than you if you have already been looking? have you two talked about your plans? was the plan for him to go to school and you work? i'm sort of confuse.

 
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I see where Karrie is coming from,I wonder same myself.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 
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I think you could move in with your mother and get a job and be able to save some money. Your boyfriend sounds to me to be quite selfish.

 
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I don't think lazy and selfish are the right words to describe your boyfriend. I don't think he's lazy if he's willing to go to school and work. I understand that by saying he "didn't want to work is ass off...", he may have come off as selfish, but perhaps he is going to school in order to secure a better future.

Have you been able to get by with him working one job? Has something changed, that you feel he needs to get a second job until you find one?

I believe in the colleges thread, you said you went to USC. Since you are 23, and your baby is 3, I'm assuming you had your baby while you were still in school. How did you guys manage back then? Is it possible to do it again -- As in, if you were able to go to school and still have everything work out, is it possible now, for him to go to school and for everything to work out as it did before?

If your boyfriend's job cannot support the three of you, and you feel that you will not be able to secure a job soon, I do think you should move in with your mother.

I wish you the best of luck!


 
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i totally agree with aplsmash.

he works, goes to school and he's the lazy one? :| anyways, good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 
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Originally Posted by Aquilah /img/forum/go_quote.gif ITA! John and I have had tiffs in the past, and as long as we worked together, then things were fine. Neither of us ended up having to get a second job, but it was still hard at times. I've never believed in letting a man bring me down, and I never will either. I think you need to do what's best for you and your daughter regardless as to whether or not he's happy about it. i agree
 
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Originally Posted by aplsmash /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't think lazy and selfish are the right words to describe your boyfriend. I don't think he's lazy if he's willing to go to school and work. I understand that by saying he "didn't want to work is ass off...", he may have come off as selfish, but perhaps he is going to school in order to secure a better future.
Have you been able to get by with him working one job? Has something changed, that you feel he needs to get a second job until you find one?

I believe in the colleges thread, you said you went to USC. Since you are 23, and your baby is 3, I'm assuming you had your baby while you were still in school. How did you guys manage back then? Is it possible to do it again -- As in, if you were able to go to school and still have everything work out, is it possible now, for him to go to school and for everything to work out as it did before?

If your boyfriend's job cannot support the three of you, and you feel that you will not be able to secure a job soon, I do think you should move in with your mother.

I wish you the best of luck!


yeah i agree with thati think rather than focusing on what HE can do better think about what YOU can do better

 
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a man should do what ever it takes for his family

my mom worked two jobs with me and so did my dad.. they were young and had food stamps and everything.. they never saw it as who does more.. they saw it as.. what can WE do to make our family have what we need

 

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