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Sorry for posting this here since it may be a little too sensitive for some readers but I don't have the 30 posts to get into the Love and Sex Forum...
About a month ago my brother had me meet a guy he works with. We "unofficially" went out on a date to a couple of bars with another mutual guy friend. He was very nice to me and reached around the seat and touched my leg to say goodbye and that it was nice meeting me when the night was over. Sunday nite, of that weekend, he said he was confused about his old gf, apparently they had just broken up a week before, and didn't know what to do. I was upset since I really liked him. I finally told myself I would give it one last shot and asked him if he wanted to go to the drive-in. The answer was no because he had to get up early the next morning for a fishing tourn. However, he did ask me to come over to his house for pizza and a movie. I was a little taken aback since he didn't want to go to the movies but asked me to come over there. Anyway, I ended up staying until 5am. We didn't have sex, but that was mostly my doing because I thought it was too fast. However, we did, of course, make out a lot. He is hot ladies!
He explained to me and we talked about it, that he didn't really want a girlfriend. He wanted to be able to do his own thing. I think I had realized by then that we weren't going to fit for a long term relationship anway. (You know when you just have that feeling about someone and you know it isn't going to be anything serious; ie love or marriage) I called him a couple of times after that nite to see if he wanted to do something and the answer was always no, I'm doing this or I'm doing that. Finally, after another week he confessed he was seeing some other girl. I don't know for how long. I was pissed and told him off. I said there was absolutely no reason to lie to me at all. I told him I was totally honest with him and that I thought it was disrespectful. I told him to have a nice life. I decided as much as I was attracted to him that **** was not acceptable and that was the last I talked to him.
His mother died last week suddenly and I heard about it from my brother. I sent him a card. He called me Tuesday and left me a message thanking me for the card and to call him back. I really didn't want to call him back and start anything again. He called again 2 hours later but didn't leave a message. I decided to call him the next morning on my way to work. I left a message on his cell since he was working. He called me Wednesday nite and we talked for a little while and before we said goodbye he said 'well, call me anytime.' I was really shocked because he had never said that before. I really didn't know why he wanted to talk to me anyway. He had said thank you for the card on my machine..so what else was there to say? (I was hoping he was going to give me a chance this time) I found out from a friend later that nite that he was at the fair. My parents were going so I decided to go with them. I ended up calling him and meeting up with him at the fair. He was bringing me home when he said something about going to his house. He told me right then he was still seeing that girl and that he wasn't lying to me this time. We sat in my driveway and talked about it for a few mins and he asked me if I wanted to go to his house and I said yes. He said he wouldn't behave unless I wanted him too and he was actually starting to bite his nails...hahaha...I think he was getting nervous. I told him I was not driving to his house and if he wanted me to come over he had to bring me home. He had to be to work at 3:30 am so he would have to drive me home at 3am. He decided it was worth it..haha. He also mentioned that this was just friends and that it wasn't going to happen every day because she woud be up sometimes (she lives in Vermont; we live in NY). So, blah blah, long story short we had sex this time.
I called him the next day and asked him if he wanted to go over to my brother's land and see the road he made (guys like that **** I guess) but of course, as before, the answer was, 'well, I gotta take a shower and go see dad, etc.' We had a little discussion about why he never wants to do anything and nothing really came of that discussion. So, after that phone call last nite I decided this is the same **** I went through with him before and it sucks and it just isn't worth calling him.
This is my question: What is this guy thinking? Why do guys do this? Why is one girl good enough to "officially" date and another is just good enough to invite over for sex? What is going on in their heads? (Tony, not that you do this, but you may be the only guy reading this so enlighten me please!) I'm not a beauty queen and I am not pencil thin but I am smart and funny and I am a nice person, so what gives? He is hot and I find him very attractive and even though I can't see a long term serious relationship with him, it does hurt my feelings that for some reason he doesn't think I am "date-worthy" material. I don't get it.
A friend of mine said he is just using me but I told her maybe I am just using him too, but if he were to ask me right now if I wanted to "officially" date I would say yes. I guess even tho I know it wouldn't work out in the long run, just to know he was thinking of me that way makes me feel better than to think he just wants to have sex. What gives? Help!
About a month ago my brother had me meet a guy he works with. We "unofficially" went out on a date to a couple of bars with another mutual guy friend. He was very nice to me and reached around the seat and touched my leg to say goodbye and that it was nice meeting me when the night was over. Sunday nite, of that weekend, he said he was confused about his old gf, apparently they had just broken up a week before, and didn't know what to do. I was upset since I really liked him. I finally told myself I would give it one last shot and asked him if he wanted to go to the drive-in. The answer was no because he had to get up early the next morning for a fishing tourn. However, he did ask me to come over to his house for pizza and a movie. I was a little taken aback since he didn't want to go to the movies but asked me to come over there. Anyway, I ended up staying until 5am. We didn't have sex, but that was mostly my doing because I thought it was too fast. However, we did, of course, make out a lot. He is hot ladies!

His mother died last week suddenly and I heard about it from my brother. I sent him a card. He called me Tuesday and left me a message thanking me for the card and to call him back. I really didn't want to call him back and start anything again. He called again 2 hours later but didn't leave a message. I decided to call him the next morning on my way to work. I left a message on his cell since he was working. He called me Wednesday nite and we talked for a little while and before we said goodbye he said 'well, call me anytime.' I was really shocked because he had never said that before. I really didn't know why he wanted to talk to me anyway. He had said thank you for the card on my machine..so what else was there to say? (I was hoping he was going to give me a chance this time) I found out from a friend later that nite that he was at the fair. My parents were going so I decided to go with them. I ended up calling him and meeting up with him at the fair. He was bringing me home when he said something about going to his house. He told me right then he was still seeing that girl and that he wasn't lying to me this time. We sat in my driveway and talked about it for a few mins and he asked me if I wanted to go to his house and I said yes. He said he wouldn't behave unless I wanted him too and he was actually starting to bite his nails...hahaha...I think he was getting nervous. I told him I was not driving to his house and if he wanted me to come over he had to bring me home. He had to be to work at 3:30 am so he would have to drive me home at 3am. He decided it was worth it..haha. He also mentioned that this was just friends and that it wasn't going to happen every day because she woud be up sometimes (she lives in Vermont; we live in NY). So, blah blah, long story short we had sex this time.
I called him the next day and asked him if he wanted to go over to my brother's land and see the road he made (guys like that **** I guess) but of course, as before, the answer was, 'well, I gotta take a shower and go see dad, etc.' We had a little discussion about why he never wants to do anything and nothing really came of that discussion. So, after that phone call last nite I decided this is the same **** I went through with him before and it sucks and it just isn't worth calling him.
This is my question: What is this guy thinking? Why do guys do this? Why is one girl good enough to "officially" date and another is just good enough to invite over for sex? What is going on in their heads? (Tony, not that you do this, but you may be the only guy reading this so enlighten me please!) I'm not a beauty queen and I am not pencil thin but I am smart and funny and I am a nice person, so what gives? He is hot and I find him very attractive and even though I can't see a long term serious relationship with him, it does hurt my feelings that for some reason he doesn't think I am "date-worthy" material. I don't get it.
