I want to be a woman so bad
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thanks everyone for being so swee and i truely appreciate all the advice and comments. You really know how to make a girl feel welcome. I hope to get things wored out and this really really helps
Jess
Jess
I think you should really give that decision a lot of thought. It will be a lifechanging experience, not just for you, but your whole family. Have you thought about seeking support from a local group (I guess CD anony?? hehe, I don't know!). It would be good to talk to people who have been in your situation, and learning from their regrets/achievements in doing that. Of course that isn't me LOL but I thought I would suggest it!
Good luck!
Good luck!
internetchick
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If I were you, I might hold off on trying to meet women to help you with CD. How might your wife feel about that? I think if you want to work with her to help her accept this, then cutting her out and meeting your needs elsewhere is a BIG mistake in my opinion. I agree with finding support groups though. Ask her to come with you, even if she says no she will know you are keeping the door open for her. Find out what her concerns are so you can address them.
Best of luck to you.
Best of luck to you.
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Originally Posted by internetchick /img/forum/go_quote.gif If I were you, I might hold off on trying to meet women to help you with CD. How might your wife feel about that? I think if you want to work with her to help her accept this, then cutting her out and meeting your needs elsewhere is a BIG mistake in my opinion. I agree with finding support groups though. Ask her to come with you, even if she says no she will know you are keeping the door open for her. Find out what her concerns are so you can address them.
Best of luck to you.
You know that is the Best advice i have heard.
It seems like there are two competing issues in what you describe.
First you mention that you want to be a woman, but what exactly does that mean? Do you just want to crossdress and go out and socialize? or do you want to take this further and actually become a woman? obviously a big, big difference there. The desperation you describe seem to suggest it is not enough to just dress. Maybe i am reading too much into your title of the thread?
The second is your relationship with your wife. If you knew about these feelings and desires you probably owed it to her to tell her about it before you got married. I totally agree with MakeupbyMonet that her feelings need to be taken into account. It is probably in this area that you might consider couples counseling. Talking to her about everything is the only way you are going to make it through this with her. I myself really didn't run into this problem because I sort of came to my own realization about the desire to cd right in front of my wife.
I agree with InternetChick on this, if you go off without your wife's knowledge just as she is trying to get an understanding of it all it could be devastating to her.
I think if you view this place as a great resource there are plenty of people who will give you excellent makeup and fashion advice, and critiques as well as being a sounding board for any relationship issues you might have. This is an incredibly accepting group of people here. I think you already know of some of the cd communities out there and i am sure there you will find people who have gone through similar issues in their own lives. There is no shortage of help out there.
Best of luck to you.
You know that is the Best advice i have heard.
It seems like there are two competing issues in what you describe.
First you mention that you want to be a woman, but what exactly does that mean? Do you just want to crossdress and go out and socialize? or do you want to take this further and actually become a woman? obviously a big, big difference there. The desperation you describe seem to suggest it is not enough to just dress. Maybe i am reading too much into your title of the thread?
The second is your relationship with your wife. If you knew about these feelings and desires you probably owed it to her to tell her about it before you got married. I totally agree with MakeupbyMonet that her feelings need to be taken into account. It is probably in this area that you might consider couples counseling. Talking to her about everything is the only way you are going to make it through this with her. I myself really didn't run into this problem because I sort of came to my own realization about the desire to cd right in front of my wife.
I agree with InternetChick on this, if you go off without your wife's knowledge just as she is trying to get an understanding of it all it could be devastating to her.
I think if you view this place as a great resource there are plenty of people who will give you excellent makeup and fashion advice, and critiques as well as being a sounding board for any relationship issues you might have. This is an incredibly accepting group of people here. I think you already know of some of the cd communities out there and i am sure there you will find people who have gone through similar issues in their own lives. There is no shortage of help out there.
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Do you mind if I ask...are you actually wanting to fully be a woman, or are you just referring to crossdressing? Hopefully your marriage can withstand crossdressing and she just needs time to figure things out.
I think if you're actually wanting to fully go through with becoming a woman, though, that it'll be much more trying on your relationship...
I think if you're actually wanting to fully go through with becoming a woman, though, that it'll be much more trying on your relationship...
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Well there's a couple things ya got to ask yourself.. Are you a crossdresser or do you have gender ID issues? If gender issues and want to become a woman then you better seek professional help.. The sooned the better..
If your a crossdresser like I am then you have to weigh your desires vs potentially loosing your family and friends.. Your job.. if you are outted during a nasty divorce..
I'm what I like to refer myself as a "Hobbiest"... And though my wife knows and is not a big fan.. She understands and loves me so she turns a blind eye as long as I keep it out of her face...
I fear your suffering from "pink fog" where your desires are averwhelming... And if you can control them they will subside somewhat.. Like anything else in life its all about balance... Balancing your work, family and crossdressing and not letting one overshadow the others.. Good luck girly!
If your a crossdresser like I am then you have to weigh your desires vs potentially loosing your family and friends.. Your job.. if you are outted during a nasty divorce..
I'm what I like to refer myself as a "Hobbiest"... And though my wife knows and is not a big fan.. She understands and loves me so she turns a blind eye as long as I keep it out of her face...
I fear your suffering from "pink fog" where your desires are averwhelming... And if you can control them they will subside somewhat.. Like anything else in life its all about balance... Balancing your work, family and crossdressing and not letting one overshadow the others.. Good luck girly!
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Originally Posted by Karren_Hutton /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well there's a couple things ya got to ask yourself.. Are you a crossdresser or do you have gender ID issues? If gender issues and want to become a woman then you better seek professional help.. The sooned the better..
If your a crossdresser like I am then you have to weigh your desires vs potentially loosing your family and friends.. Your job.. if you are outted during a nasty divorce..
I'm what I like to refer myself as a "Hobbiest"... And though my wife knows and is not a big fan.. She understands and loves me so she turns a blind eye as long as I keep it out of her face...
I fear your suffering from "pink fog" where your desires are averwhelming... And if you can control them they will subside somewhat.. Like anything else in life its all about balance... Balancing your work, family and crossdressing and not letting one overshadow the others.. Good luck girly!
Well said!! I am in the same place as Karren (except my wife is more accepting, she knows I dress when she's out and that's OK. She'll buy me stuff, but doesn't want to meet Lisa). This is serious stuff. As I suggested before, join some of the crossdressing forums and see how that helps you. They helped me a lot. That's where I met Karren and she invited me here. I love it here and I hope you do too. We who are gender gifted have problems with society and acceptence. Not just family, but neighbors, employers, customers, whatever. Be careful and consider all aspects of your choices before you make them! As Karren said, good luck!!
If your a crossdresser like I am then you have to weigh your desires vs potentially loosing your family and friends.. Your job.. if you are outted during a nasty divorce..
I'm what I like to refer myself as a "Hobbiest"... And though my wife knows and is not a big fan.. She understands and loves me so she turns a blind eye as long as I keep it out of her face...
I fear your suffering from "pink fog" where your desires are averwhelming... And if you can control them they will subside somewhat.. Like anything else in life its all about balance... Balancing your work, family and crossdressing and not letting one overshadow the others.. Good luck girly!
Well said!! I am in the same place as Karren (except my wife is more accepting, she knows I dress when she's out and that's OK. She'll buy me stuff, but doesn't want to meet Lisa). This is serious stuff. As I suggested before, join some of the crossdressing forums and see how that helps you. They helped me a lot. That's where I met Karren and she invited me here. I love it here and I hope you do too. We who are gender gifted have problems with society and acceptence. Not just family, but neighbors, employers, customers, whatever. Be careful and consider all aspects of your choices before you make them! As Karren said, good luck!!
