Im going to go Crazy please Help

[Killah Kitty]

Ahhh I have never been in such confusing situations, and Im in three or four at once, I am just so overwhelmed I have no idea what to do!!

Well I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He's always been going behind my back basically Id treat him like gold and he just kept hurting me, he wasnt romantic either we never went out for dinner till a month ago. Now he keeps calling me and he says he wants me back yet hes wasted no time posting hes single all over the internet and that hes ready to move on. I know he isnt gonna change and Ive really come to hate all the things hes done to hurt me, which makes me really mad at him, but at the same time hes been my entire life for 2 years and now I feel lost, lonely, the whole devasted feeling, even though I broke up with him. I want to move on because I know he ISNT going to change, but everytime he calls and crys and says he wants me back, I feel bad and hes so familiar, I want to say ok. Then I see all his shit on the internet, his profiles saying 'I just got out of this 2 year relationship and Im ready to move on' and his emails and I get so angry. I dont know what to do. He makes himself sound like hes experiencing the end of the world, but even in all his grief he has time to tell every girl he is single?? Should I just stop talking to him completly and try move on? How? I told him Id like for us to still be friends, but if he doesnt stop calling and crying while flirting at the same time, I think it would be best for me to try forget him altogether.

On top of that Ive met a guy I really really like, but I dont even remember how to flirt or act available anymore. We really get along great and we seem to have everything in common, should I just tell him I like him? I dont know because we've only known each other for only a week.

And even more! My two best friends were a couple and they just broke up too, after 3 years of being together. And now none of us are talking. Its so awkward.

So now I have really nobody to talk to and I have no idea how to deal with anything going on in my life right now. I really do feel like Im

. Id realy like to hear anything anybody has to say, I think I just needed to get this out, and Ive gotten comfort from here before when Ive been in bad situations.... well.... thanks for reading it really means alot right now.

 

[BeneBaby]

Yeah....that's really hard. But truthfully, they never change. He might really be heartbroken and posting that stuff to get your attention, but once he gets you back it will be the same. I think it's best to see other people casually and keep your options open. They say it takes double the time you were with someone to get over them fully. As for your friends...that tough too. Hopefully you can connect with them even though they arent' together.

 

[La_Mari]

I'm sorry

That's how my ex acted too. Only he was saying "divorced" all over the internet. I was the one saying I was "single" lol. It sucks, but honestly I don't think many people change. As a matter of fact, I was going to get a tattoo tonight saying "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are" because either people aren't themselves, or they don't realize how they're treating others.

I too had a couple guys crushing on me afterwards, it felt weird even talking to the opposite sex.

I hope everything gets better. And if he calls u again, tell him to give me a call and I'll set him straight for you lol.

 

[Jennifer]

i went through the same thing with an ex (even worse) and i kept going back to him til one day i actually said the words, "i'm bored. i'm hanging up," and i did and never spoke to him again, after 2.5 years. i was so lonely, but it was the best thing ever.

i was lonely cuz my best friends were dating, too (like yours), and THEY broke up, as well, and we all stopped talking to each other. it was definitely awkward and it was so lonely, but we all went our separate ways and left the baby shit behind us.

it was the best thing i've ever done cuz now i'm engaged to a great guy that i love to pieces and treats me soooo well! i'm really happy and once you get over that *******, you will be, too, cuz you deserve it

 

[Killah Kitty]

Thank you so much so far everyone, its really nice to not feel so alone or like the only one. La Mari you made me smile

. Amanda thank you for agreeing this is tough, I thought maybe I was over reacting, but perhaps Im not.

More drama just now... ahh! My best girl friend, who was just dumped by my other best friend. My ex was talking to her earlier and now she seems to be furious with me for breaking up with him and making him so upset. She said she hates me for it and that Im stupid and that my ex was her friend before I was, so shes basically taking sides, and doesnt want to be my friend anymore. Its so strange to me because we been closer than ever lately and now this.

Oh well. I have a feeling we are all going to go our separate ways. It used to be the 4 of us always hanging out, two perfect couples, but now he is moving out and she doesnt like me, and my ex, well I dont have a feeling its going to work out anymore, Im getting sick of his shit you know!! I gave him so many chances to change and he hasnt, like I really thought I could stick it out and itd work, but I really feel like Ive reached the end of my hope lol.

Anyways sorry to add more to what is already too much lol. La Mari did you end up getting that tatoo? It sounds beautiful.

 

[luxotika]

Well, I think Dr. Phil said it best...."The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior." Meaning that if he treated you like shit while you were together, it isn't going to change if you get back together. My best advice would be to move on. There is nothing more exciting than to get into a new relationship. You should totally tell the dude that you are crushing on that you have feelings for him. Maybe ask him out for a coffee or a drink or something? Good luck girl! We will be rooting for you!

 

[lglala84]

I think you can be friends with your ex, but before that can happen you need to give yourself and him time to heal.

And with his actions that you are mentioning I def think you should give yourself the time and space to thoroughly know that you made the right choice.

With the new guy well just take it slow ...I mean you just got out of a relationship, so I would say become friends first and test the waters ( I mean everything is always pretty in the beginning, but after a while you get to see the real side of people )

And just go hang out a lot with your girl friends so you don't feel so lonely, try to hang out a lot with family, and keep your mind doing activities. Best of luck!

 

[pinksugar]

oh gee that sounds really complex

sorry to hear about your breakup, they're always hard!

what I would suggest is to stop talking to the ex, stop answering his calls, and just ignore him. Alternatively, call him out on his bullshit and just say, what the hell are you talking about? how can you care about me and want me back when I know you're single all over the internet?

then hang up

maybe you can be the one to make the first move with your friends. Call both of them and ask them how they're going. I'm sure they're lonely too.

Best of luck chicken, breaking up is hard, but moving on is even harder

 

[Dragonfly]

To begin with, never enter a new relationship until you hae been 100% single for at least 6 months.

In terms of the last boyfriend, maybe one day you can be friends. But you need to stay away from him for at least 3 months.

This means stop talking to him, stop running into him, stop reading his internet crap. And block his emails so you can't read them.

And if he shows up at your home/work/school, tell him to leave and stop bothering you.

As long as you make yourself available to him, he going to try to drag you back into the old relationship that you weren't happy with.

All the best hun.

 

[Shelley]

I agree that you should not answer his calls or emails. The more you hear his voice and read his emails the more upset you will feel. He may feel heartbroken and try to win you back. It sounds like he didn't treat you good and you deserve someone better. It does take time to heal from a broken relationship and you should allow yourself the time to heal. During this time it is important to surround yourself with supportive family and/or friends.

As for the new guy you like. I would take the time to heal from this previous relationship. There is nothing wrong with being friends with him to begin with and see what happens from there.

I hope this helped! Hugs to you.

 

[reesesilverstar]

I have nothing to add. Everybody said it already.

Don't allow people to encroach on your space or your time. Don't rush into anything just yet. Let your friends do the same.

This is your time. Time to remember you, the person. Time to do all the things you enjoy. Time to live, breathe and heal.

God's speed hun.

 

[KellyB]

Breaking up is the pits. I was very lonely after my exhusband and seperated. It was better being alone than being miserable with someone though. Change is difficult also and you are having a few all at once. Time will make it better but continuing the same patterns over and over again do nothing except keep us in circles. Once you have decided you have truly had enough it will be easier. It will still hurt and you will still have lonely times but day by day it WILL get better. Try to keep yourself busy doing anything and everything and write to us when you need someone to listen. {{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[La_Mari]

Originally Posted by Killah Kitty /img/forum/go_quote.gif Anyways sorry to add more to what is already too much lol. La Mari did you end up getting that tatoo? It sounds beautiful.

Lol, I was going to borrow $ from my bff, but I'm going to wait til I get paid Friday. I'll post pics if I get the balls to do it, it's my first.

 

[MissMissy]

girl i would move on for a moment.. . if you dont want him to do it again.. let him feel the pain... dont answer his calls for a week or so then if he calls after that then he wants to make things right.. he knows he hurt you and wants to be with you.. this could just be a phase to him.. he might relise.. damn.. i had it pretty well.. maybe he wont.. if he dont call back.. then he didnt really want to be with you.. and you dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you girl... just some advice my momma used to give me

 

[polaroidscene]

Im am going through something similar except i got dumped...and i know how you feel my bf was my whole life and i really thought we were going all the way...and like you i dont really have anyone to talk to. I honestly think you should try out this new guy you never know what could happen...and if there isn't a spark or things dont work out then maybe go back with your ex...he is doing that to get your attention and i know how your ex feels...it hurts and it sucks..but if he treated you like kinda crappy and he's not going to change then he needs to take some time to work on himself.

 

[puncturedskirt]

It's definitely going to be a hard thing to do but i think it's best for you to move on.

 

[Killah Kitty]

Well I thought Id come back with some updates. I still feel a little crazy lol. I appreciate everyones advice in here so much. For a week or two I ignored him for the most part. It was hard lol. That passed and he was still calling, still trying to get me back, we talked all night a few times, and alot of shit was cleared up and confessed, by that I mean like he admitted to things and explained things, which I believe is the best way to put something behind you. He said he does need to work on himself and that I help him immensely.

He also deleted himself from every site he was a part of on the internet, and he only kept his msn, and gave me his password to it, and deleted a ton of people off his list too. He said since the day I left he couldnt stop thinking about me, he finally realized what he had, he admitted to EVERYTHING hes done and we agreed to put it all behind us, he swore on his life he wants to marry me and that he will never act that way again, because it hurts me, and he said that if im hurt he hurts too.

A friend of mine told me that if two people are in a relationship and one person does something wrong, if they feel that guilt and pain about it, then theres defintly feelings there.

So far everything has been good, safe to say better than normal, he is making 50 times more of the effort for me, and you know we've always had this feeling were meant to me, so maybe. Im really happy, I do love him, I just had given up, life gets tough sometimes.

As for my two friends, they didnt get back together, the guy is already seeing another girl, and my girl is devasted and mad at me again because I still talk to her ex, he is still a good friend to me. Oh well. I have come to notice this girl brings tons of drama in my life, and shes also jelous that me and my boyfriend worked it out, so shes been trying to get between us. I dont think I need her anyways then!

Oh yea one last thing, as far as that guy I really liked... I really like him still... I havent seen him much but we still talk over msn. Im not sure if he likes me because we havent spent enough time together... but I think it will probably just end up being dropped or us being friends (which is ok) because since Im in my relationship again lol I cant exactly pursue him.

Phew! Sorry for long update lol. La Mari did that tatoo ever happen??

 

[La_Mari]

Hopefully he treats you good consistantly. You deserve it, if not remind him you don't have to be there... well that's what I'm gonna do to mine.

Anyway, for your gf, IDK, maybe see it from her side, she might cry all the time and want to get back with her ex, and it's hard getting over someone if they're still around you. But she still shouldn't hate you for keeping in touch with him, that's childish. She can't control you!

And no I didn't get the tattoo. She bailed out on me cause she was "sick". Oh well, I went shopping with my money anyway