Jen Schefft Supports Bachelor Brad’s Choice Not to Choose forums

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Feb 12, 2005
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Jen Schefft, who turned down two proposals on The Bachelorette in 2005, defends Bachelor Brad Womack’s rejection of two female finalists—but sees a double standard at work.

“It’s entirely possible to meet 25 beautiful women (or 25 handsome men) and not fall in love with any of them . . . in a matter of six weeks . . . in isolation . . . with cameras all around. It doesn’t mean the person is too picky … nor does it mean they are gay.†Schefft writes on The Huffington Post. “It just means they would rather be on their own than in a relationship with the wrong person. A sentiment I completely agree with.â€

But Schefft, whose book Better Single Than Sorry was published last year, questions the lack of a public backlash against his decision “compared to the negative press I personally received after announcing I didn’t want to be with any of the guys I met on the show.â€

“I haven’t seen much denouncing him as a jerk…or proclaiming he made the biggest mistake of his life and that he’d be single forever,†she writes. “When it comes to relationships and breakups, society treats women and men very differently.â€

Offering Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson as examples of women who “received the majority of the negative publicity†in their divorces from Brad Pitt and Nick Lachey, Schefft writes that the men “walked away from their marriages with their reputations intact.â€

“In the public eye, they’ve been forgiven for whatever role they played in the breakups,†Shefft writes. “The women … have been portrayed as ‘needy’ or ‘pathetic.’ The public worries they’ll be single forever—as if that’s worse than being stuck in an unhappy marriage. For some reason, it’s more acceptable for a man to turn down a woman than it is for a woman to reject a man.â€

With only two couples still together after 11 seasons of The Bachelor and three of The Bachelorette, “viewers have come to expect these romances will fail,†Schefft suggests. “But I give Brad a lot of credit for not playing into the fantasy the show creates.†—Gerri Miller

I support him too. I understood that he didn't want to be with one girl while thinking of the other. I myself would rather he not choose me at all if he had any doubts.

BTW, I didn't watch the show, I just watched last night cause I was already on ABC...